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The Love I Don't Deserve Novel Cover

The Love I Don't Deserve

My name is Vivian Nelson, and I am raising my son on my own. Life has knocked me down more times than I can count, yet I still cling to hope because my child is everything to me, even while his illness threatens to take him away. The surgery costs more money than I could ever hope to save, but walking away was never an option. When my world felt like it was closing in, I forced myself to ask my boss, Carlos Rogers, for help. I never expected his answer. He was willing to support me, but his help came with a condition I never imagined. Left with nowhere else to turn, I agreed to Carlos's proposal. I had no idea how I would look my son in the eye later on, but life has never been kind or easy to me, and I have learned that survival often demands painful choices. Luck finally showed me some mercy when the surgery succeeded, and my precious boy slowly began to heal. Carlos carries himself with confidence and authority, while I have always believed I am not worthy of love. Because of that, I assumed our connection would stay strictly professional. He, however, does not see things the same way, and little by little, he finds his way past my defenses and into my heart.
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Chapter 3

Vivian's POV:

Eight years vanished in a flash.

Ribbons glinted in the afternoon sun as blue, red, and silver balloons danced along the walls. The table was pure childhood magic—a cake crowned with tiny sugar figurines, a circle of cupcakes and chocolate pops, and a parade of treats stretching out like a promise. The whole room pulsed with the scent of happiness.

"Vivian, this is wonderful," said Neil, my friend and neighbor, his voice warm. "Leo's going to be thrilled."

My smile stretched wide and real. Planning Leo's eighth birthday had been more than a project; it was my lifeline through a hard year. Work was scarce, money even tighter, but I pinched every penny so today could be unforgettable.

Because Leo was my sunshine, the spark that kept hope burning even when everything else seemed dark. He deserved every bit of joy I could give.

"Here he comes!" I called, peeking through the window.

And there he was—my son, a whirl of curls chasing his friends, laughter echoing as he raced alongside Emily Morris, my closest friend. Emily's laugh was bright and musical, spreading warmth through the room and filling my heart to the brim. Every moment was worth the struggle.

The party burst to life, a cyclone of giggles, shouts, and the happy thunder of bare feet on the floor.

Leo ruled the afternoon, proud and glowing, parading his toys and leading the pack through one game after another. When it was time for cake, we sang "Happy Birthday" with all the energy in the world, perfectly off-key. With a deep breath and a grin that split his face, Leo blew out all eight candles in one perfect swoop.

While the kids scattered like startled birds for hide and seek, Leo shot straight for the garden, aiming for his favorite hiding place behind the tall rosebush. I watched him run, a grin on his face—then saw him stop short, clutching his chest as if he'd smacked into an invisible wall. The flush of excitement drained from his cheeks, leaving him pale as candle wax.

"Leo?" My voice stayed light at first, convinced he was just winded from all the running.

He didn't answer. Instead, he stumbled forward, slow and clumsy, his big eyes suddenly unfocused and far away.

"Leo!" My shout cut through the party noise, tinged with panic.

I couldn't reach him in time. His knees buckled and he crumpled to the grass like a discarded doll. The soft thud barely made a sound, but inside me, it rang louder than thunder.

Instantly, a heavy hush fell over the party. Laughter and chatter died as the other children stared, fear and confusion written on their faces.

I dropped to my knees beside Leo, my hands shaking so badly I could hardly touch him.

"Leo! Sweetheart, listen to me—Mommy's here!"

I brushed his face—clammy, cold, damp with sweat like stone in the early morning. His breathing was shallow, almost invisible, his chest barely moving. His eyes fluttered half-closed, lashes trembling, and for a moment, I felt the whole world stop right there with us.

"I'm calling an ambulance!" Neil's voice sliced through the shocked silence, snapping everyone out of their daze.

After that, everything blurred—the wail of sirens, paramedics working with urgent precision, the flurry of straps and oxygen masks. They lifted Leo onto a stretcher and wheeled him to the ambulance. I stumbled in behind him, my legs barely holding me upright. As the doors closed, I caught a glimpse of the backyard: stunned children frozen by the roses, the bright party cake abandoned, a perfect day wrecked in an instant.

At the hospital, time unraveled. I sat in a sterile waiting room that reeked of antiseptic and dread, white walls closing in around me. The air conditioner's drone became the soundtrack to my misery, every second stretching into an eternity. My mind spun through worst-case scenarios—was it just excitement? Low blood sugar? Or something far more serious I'd missed all along?

Eventually, Alvin, the doctor, emerged. The look on his face twisted my insides.

"Ma'am, your boy is stable. He's regained consciousness," he said, voice calm.

A flood of relief washed over me, but it disappeared in a heartbeat.

"However," he continued, and that single word landed like a punch. "The tests and what happened today point to something more. Leo's fainting spell was caused by a serious cardiac arrhythmia."

"But... he's only eight," I managed to reply, barely breathing.

"That's exactly why we ran every test we could. We believe he may have a congenital heart condition. He'll likely need surgery," Alvin responded, voice gentler.

He went on to explain, slow and careful, that the condition affected the heart muscle itself and could stay hidden for years without showing obvious signs. Every sentence felt like another blow, hammering away at the ordinary life I thought we still had. He spoke about scans and imaging, listed possible complications, and finally mentioned the risk no parent ever wants to hear.

The word "death" lingered in the air, crushing whatever strength I had left.

"How much will the surgery cost?" I asked, not pausing or softening my voice.

"Around one hundred thousand. And honestly, the sooner we operate, the better his chances," he answered gently.

One hundred thousand. The number echoed in my mind, vast and cruel—a single sum deciding if my child lived or died.

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