The Love I Don't Deserve
Chapter 4
Vivian's POV:
The steady hum of hospital equipment had filled the room, each soft beep tightening the knot in my stomach. Instead of comfort, those sounds became reminders of how hard your child's heart was fighting to keep going.
Leo had looked so small under the crisp hospital sheets. His eyelashes had thrown faint shadows across his pale cheeks, and even in sleep, he seemed to carry worries too heavy for someone so young.
One single day was all it had taken for my life to spin out of control—just like the day Lawrence had walked out.
He stirred awake, his voice rough and thin. "Mom, why does my heart hurt?"
His simple question nearly broke me. I swallowed back my tears and forced a shaky smile, sitting on the edge of the bed so he knew I was there. His tiny hand, warm and trusting, wrapped around mine.
For that moment, I pushed away the desperation and made room only for love.
"My brave boy," I whispered, smoothing his hair as he drew closer. "Sometimes your heart aches because it's filled with so much love and courage. It carries so many stories that, every now and then, it becomes a bit weary."
He turned toward me, a hint of curiosity brightening the worry in his eyes.
"Stories?"
"Yes, stories," I said in a gentle hush, as a soft smile crept across my lips and I traced slow circles on the back of Leo's hand. "Your heart keeps memories of that day at the beach—the way you dashed across the sand so quickly, you might as well have taken flight. It remembers Emily laughing until she cried when you made that silly face at lunch. And it never lets go of Neil's secret about the place where birds hide their treasures."
Leo's mouth curled into a tiny smile. "Does my heart really remember all of that?"
"Every single bit," I promised, my tone turning soft and soothing. "Sometimes your heart gets so caught up in these memories and adventures, it forgets to stay steady. It skips or races ahead, almost like a song that stumbles over its favorite part just to remind you it's there."
His eyes darted toward the monitor, but the beeping no longer seemed so threatening. Instead, it became the background to his wild imagination.
"Will the doctors help my heart feel better?" Leo asked, his voice steadier now.
"You've got it, sweetheart." I reached for his favorite toy car and tucked it under his arm. "Doctors are like conductors of a grand orchestra. They'll teach your heart to play its tune just right, helping it beat strong and smooth so you can do all the things you love."
He gazed up at me with wide-eyed wonder, the shadows of fear fading into trust.
"My heart is pretty brave, isn't it, Mom?" he whispered.
"It's the bravest heart I've ever known," I replied, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "And you are the fiercest warrior I could ever hope for."
As I studied his face, thoughts of the man who gave everything to keep us safe came rushing back. Tears threatened, but I pushed them away.
"Leo, no matter what it takes, I'll help you get better. I promise."
***
By six o'clock that evening, Neil appeared at the door with a basket full of fresh fruit.
"You should go home and try to get some rest, Vivi. You've already taken two days off. Since you're still new at work, it's better not to extend your leave. Come back tomorrow, and Emily and I will watch over everything here during the day. If anything comes up, we'll give you a call right away."
"Don't worry about me, Mom. Uncle Neil is here to play with me. I'm going to be strong, just like you always say—a real warrior," my son said, putting on his bravest face. He gave me a smile, thin but full of determination.
"That's right, my little warrior. We'll get through this together." I squeezed his hand and leaned close. After kissing his hand, I turned to Neil and spoke quietly. "Thank you for staying. I'll go now."
As I headed into the hallway, Neil caught up and slipped an envelope into my palm.
"There's thirty thousand in there. Emily and I managed to put it together. Please, don't say no. I realize it's still not enough, but I'll keep making calls—"
"Thank you, truly," I said, cutting him off before he could say more. "Let me handle the rest. I'll figure something out."
Truthfully, I had already tried the bank, but since I was unemployed last year and my current job was only temporary, they had turned me down.
Wanting to avoid any further conversation, I hurried out of the hospital without looking back.
With the money from Neil and Emily, plus what I had managed to save myself, I still found myself forty thousand short.
As I walked, my mind raced for any possible way to make up the difference.
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