No Going Back

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal.

Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim.

Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing.

[Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.]

The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door.

He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?”

However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Maybe because I’d gotten used to going along with him these past few years, Sean Roth had never seen me look at him like this before.

He fell silent in an instant and slipped back into his usual act, lowering his voice to sound gentle.

“Jane, I was just messing around with her. I only did it to make you jealous, that’s all. You know no one could ever take your place in my heart.”

I stared at him quietly, already guessing he’d probably try to smooth things over with some flashy gift.

Sure enough, the very next second, Sean pulled out the latest limited-edition purse from a luxury brand and held it out to me.

One glance at the tiny scratches on the bag told me it wasn’t new, probably one that his mistress had already used.

Besides, if he’d paid attention at all, he’d know I never kept anything pink in my closet.

When I didn’t take the bag, Sean’s face darkened with impatience.

“Jane, you’re getting harder and harder to please! Fine. How about I take you out tomorrow for a date, just the two of us?”

I shook my head, looking at the man who had been with me from school days to marriage life, and gave him my final ultimatum.

“Sean, either you cut ties with all those other women… or you cut ties with me.”

He let out a short laugh, pulled me into his arms, and said, “Alright, alright, I knew you were just jealous.”

Smelling the scent of rose clinging to his collar, I said nothing.

Then, Sean suddenly scooped me up and tossed me onto the bed. His eyes burned with desire, but I only told him to take a shower.

Lying in our bed and smelling another woman’s perfume made my chest ache. It was as if something was lodged in my throat, making it impossible to swallow or spit.

Sean used to respect my boundaries, never pushing, always gentle.

However, the more I caught him with others, the more he poured that leftover passion onto me.

At first, he’d laugh and say that flirting with others was not cheating and was just to spice up our marriage.

This time, though, I was so tired, having had enough of him.

Before the water stopped running in the bathroom, I turned over and faced away from his side of the bed.

When he came out, he sat on the edge, phone screen glowing. Although I didn’t know who he was texting, he muttered one word, “Buzzkill.”

Every syllable sank into my ears.

I didn’t even realize tears were sliding down my cheeks.

When I felt the mattress dip slightly under his weight, I couldn’t help but wonder how we’re lying so close together, yet our hearts felt so far apart.