Alpha's Hidden Mate

~Onyx

My footsteps are near silent as I stride through the corridor.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I halt, grimacing before turning. My mother emerges from her office, dark brows raised expectantly.

We are almost the same person, sharing many similar qualities. Unfortunately for the both of us, I'm not just talking about our physical similarities.

"Nowhere mother, I was coming to speak to you," I lie. I had done such a good job avoiding her today.

"Mmm, I thought so." She crosses her arms, tapping her fingers against her biceps. "Did you look over those profiles Sienna was meant to bring you?"

"Strangely enough, Sienna was walking into my room, tripped, and sent every profile into the fire." I smile, patting her shoulder.

She brushes me off, rolling her eyes. "Onyx."

I sigh at her exasperated tone. Her and Sienna act like the Pack is about to dissolve without a meaningless union.

"I read them," I affirm. "And I'm not interested."

Her angular face refuses to shift in expression as she remains unsurprised. "And why not?"

"They aren't what I'm looking for."

"They are women of noble birth. Or they are filthy rich. What more could you want?" She steps forward, the top of her head barely reaching my chin. She brushes at an invisible piece of lint on my shoulder.

"I don't know."

I'm not lying to her for sport. I genuinely do not know what I'm looking for. Just not...them.

Her expression softens as she cups my cheek tenderly.

"I think I do," she murmurs. "You want love, my dear boy."

"I couldn't care less about love." Her hand falls away as I shake my head. The hard, pointed look she gives me tells me she doesn't believe me.

Alpha's don't marry for love. I've been raised to believe that, even though my parents were the exception. My father, before he died, told me never, as an Alpha, to believe love, outside of blood, to be genuine.

I've always believed that. Until I met Sienna.

"This Pack needs a Luna. Other Packs are sensing weakness here," mother insists, worry burying between her furrowed brows.

"I'm the strongest Alpha-"

"Perhaps, but without a Luna, doubts will spread. Your people are anxious for an heir. The last thing you want is for them to think something is wrong with you."

I rub a hand over my eyes, sighing.

I would do anything for my people. I've already sacrificed so much for them. This aspect of the job is the most difficult to perform, I'm finding.

"Maybe there is."

Mother's gaze considers me. "If you don't make an effort to find a wife, I will bring these women here and make you pick. Understand?"

I let my silence and long, cold stare tell her how ridiculous that sounds.

I understand that I have a duty I must adhere to. I have pressing obligations. All I want is more time. Weeks, months, maybe even years.

"You can't bring them here," I tell her calmly.

"Why not?"

"I'm not going to fall in love with one of them just because they are in my proximity," I insist, steadying my breathing.

I never let my mother see me angry. Frustrated, maybe. Sometimes irritated. Mostly, I let her see a sturdy, calm version of myself.

My stomach hollows at her wicked smile. "It worked with Sienna."

"Sienna is different. They aren't...they won't be like her." I ruffle my hand through my hair. "And I'm not in love with Sienna."

She levels a look. "Mmm."

Ever since Sienna and I became friends, I've heard such accusations. It's easy to brush off claims that she's my plaything, my fun in bed after a long day because that's not true.

Being accused of loving her is a much harder accusation to dismiss.

"She's my best friend. That's it," I state firmly. It's true. I'm not lying.

Mother steps forward, buttoning some of the top buttons I usually keep loose, her glossy red nails vivid against the dark of the fabric. I let her.

"Alpha's do not have friends. Everyone in an Alpha's circle must have a title." Her steely grey eyes flicker between my face and the buttons.

I run that over in my head. What is she insinuating?

"Are you saying Sienna is not worthy of being my friend?" A shimmery veil of rage starts to materialise in front of me. "I don't understand, I thought you loved her?"

Mother exhales slowly, smoothing her hands over my shoulders before stepping back. It's right of her to figure some distance between us is for the best with this manner of conversation.

"Sienna has worked diligently for me for many years, and I care about her deeply. This has nothing to do with worth. However, it is evident to everyone looking into this home that Sienna is here due to your generosity, not mine."

"So?"

She tucks her hands behind her back, all poise and elegance. "So, it is time to take Sienna as your mistress."

My heart beat stutters.

Mistress?

Vivid images of Sienna splayed out on my bed, her naked form nestled between my ivory covers, her sweeping curves beneath my palms flashes unbidden across my mind.

I shake the thought from my head. No, Sienna will not exist to serve me in my bed. She is much more than that.

"Mistress? How-"

"She needs a title. She needs a function, or else you must cut ties with her." Mother's tone is sharp, unforgiving.

She doesn't make mindless proposals. I'm the Alpha, but she knows I value her opinion too much to turn her down.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You know why. It is time to step up. Alpha's from Pack's all around us are closing in, waiting for you to slip." She shakes her head, a single black cluster of strands falling from her pinned up-do. "A friend is a weakness. A friend can be exploited."

I swallow thickly. Historically, Alpha's don't keep friends, but I don't mind being the exception. Just this once.

"This is ridiculous," I snap.

"People don't believe Sienna is just an employee here." She lowers her voice a touch. "You've killed men over her, son."

"So?"

"They know you care for her. Take her as a mistress, and you grant her protection, and a proper place here."

I shake my head in bewilderment.

Sienna won't take this well. The implication is that a mistress has a job to be the Alpha's lover and confidante. She is the latter, but not the former.

And such a title would lead the public to make assumptions about her. These will have consequences, impacting her future chances at love.

She doesn't deserve that.

"It won't stop these Alpha's from using her against me," I remind her, my words stiff and bitter.

"Every Alpha has a mistress. They are off limits. It's an unspoken rule." Mother says it so casually, like this isn't a life altering decision for Sienna to make.

"Bullshit."

I only benefit from this. Selfishly, the thought of having Sienna as mine, fully and forever is tantalising. She wouldn't be my lover, but she wouldn't be able to leave here, move on.

I shake the poisonous thoughts from my head. Sienna is not mine. She belongs only to herself, and she deserves a life carved out by her and not me.

"I love Sienna like a daughter. I helped raise her, Onyx," she continues. "I don't want to see her dead because you insist on taking her on every outing with you because you can't stand being away from her."

"I'm not married. I don't need to have a mistress."

"You will be married soon, will you not?" She raises her brows, daring me to say otherwise. "May as well appoint Sienna now, so your wife knows what to expect.

I fold my arms over my chest. "How will I get this elusive wife when I have a mistress?"

"This is the reality for Alpha's wives." She lowers her voice. "And she would have to live with the fact that you are in love with Sienna anyways."

A cold chill crawls over my skin.I don't like when people comment on Sienna and I's friendship. Not even my own mother.

"I'm not-"

"Hush, son." Her smile is all knowing. "Sleep with her, treat her as a true mistress or don't. But she must have this title."

"But-"

"End of discussion."

She turns on her heel, walking off down the hallway.

Ruffling my hands through my hair, I curse under my breath.

How am I supposed to ask Sienna to be my mistress?

***

I stretch out amongst the hay, yawning.

Sienna and I stare out the barn doors in silence, watching the steady fall of rain collect in puddles that crawl slowly toward us. They never seem to reach us, never seen to disturb the peace.

This barn has been our hideout since we were young. Its purpose is to house thick bales of yellow hay for the guards' horses.

Before us is a discarded pile of cards. Sienna won by a single game, but only after I fought her for victory for over an hour.

I conceded eventually.

"This weather is amazing," she murmurs, her head braced against one of the bales, her deep auburn hair splayed out across it.

I watch her from where I sit up, able to see only half her face. "I'll never understand why you like the rain when you hate storms."

She turns to look up at me, her gentle brown eyes burning almost gold under the single barn light.

"Rain is peaceful, storms are the Angel's smiting us," she points out, tapping her temple like this is a grand observation. "Plus, the rain sounds better than your grating voice."

I laugh roughly, shaking my head.

"It storms a lot here."

The amount of nights I've woken to tentative taps on my bedroom door. Half-asleep, Sienna would amble into my room and crawl beneath my covers, seeking refuge from the storm.

I don't mind holding her, soothing her to sleep. It doesn't matter what important occasion awaits me the next morning, I wait until her heartbeat steadies and her breath slows before I finally sleep.

I've never questioned her fear. Her mother uprooted her life and smuggled her away the night of an especially violent storm, apparently.

"Yeah." She sits up, leaning her back against the same bale as me. "That reminds me of something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What's up?" I gently pick a few pieces of lingering straw from her hair.

She chews on her lower lip, falling victim to an ancient habit of hers. That and gnawing her nails down till there's almost nothing left.

"I was thinking of going away for the summer." Her eyes are wide and big as she anticipates my reaction.

"Away?"

"Just for a bit. Not the whole summer, because I still work for your mother, but just a couple of weeks," she says, turning her body to face me.

Admittedly, a cold, dark feeling curls up in the pit of my stomach. She deserves to leave, to have a break.

I can't hold her back. I won't.

"Where would you go?" I ask lightly.

"To see the ocean." She smiles to herself, the light warming her cheeks like the sun would. "I want glorious hot weather. So hot it's almost uncomfortable."

She can find the ocean at the other end of my territory, but not the warm weather. Our best weather is whenever there's a break in the snow or rain, which is a rare occurrence.

"You want to go by yourself?" I would go with her, if I could. I would take her anywhere she wanted to go.

She picks at a piece of straw, running it between her fingers. "I don't know. I know you can't come with me, but it's also dangerous to go alone."

I stare back off into the rain, guilt slowly ratcheting up within me. If she becomes my mistress, she won't be able to leave on spontaneous trips on her own.

I glance back at her face. She's so blissfully unaware.

"Take some time to think about it," I breathe, holding back on what I should be saying...what I should be asking her.

Her lips turn up slightly. "I'll be there for your wedding, don't worry."

I exhale roughly, rubbing my eyes. "Don't remind me."

She smooths her hair back, narrowing her eyes at me. I would be amused if this issue wasn't making me miserable.

"Those women are going to come here, you know."

"I know."

I feel her study me as I stare down at my hands. She has this uncanny ability to find the real influence behind most of my emotions.

This time, I hope she doesn't...

"Are you okay? Something on your mind?"

I avoid her stare, as if the rain I see almost everyday is more interesting than this conversation. "I'm just dreading this whole marriage thing."

"We need to unpack that at some point." She gets up, dusting straw off her backside. "Right now, I need to go to bed before I fall asleep on the hay."

"Alright."

She wanders to the door, pulling the hood of her jacket over her head. "Coming?"

"I just need a few more moments." Stewing in my thoughts for a while longer isn't my smartest move, but it's going to have to do for now.

"Don't forget the unveiling tomorrow," she warns, raising a brow. "I'm really proud of you for funding this hospital. It's going to save a lot of lives."

I smile weakly, nodding.

"I won't forget."

"Goodnight then."

"Night."

She gives me one last look before she darts out into the rain, vanishing amongst the shadows.

I lean my head back, my eyes fluttering closed. I'm fucked.