What we shouldn't be
Chapter 2
KENZ'S POV
CHAPTER TWO
I stared at the text for so long that I had no idea what to do.
Why the hell was Jeremy texting me?
He had ignored me completely after we spent the entire summer together, yet those few words had shifted something inside me, and I hated it.
Eventually, I decided to reply.
Not warmly.
Just cold and short.
What?
I wasn't the vulnerable Kenz from last year.
I was about to turn off my phone when another message appeared.
Woah, one-word replies? Doesn't sound like my bunny.
Fuck.
I was irritated to my core, yet I simply couldn't ignore him.
Bunny.
I hated that name so much.
It reminded me of how stupid and easy I had been.
I used to like it when he called me that, but now it only sent shivers of disgust through me.
I shoved my phone into my pocket and stood up.
My reflection in the mirror caught my attention.
Pale.
Brown.
Lean.
I looked as though I had survived a zombie apocalypse.
Not that it mattered.
Nobody would care anyway.
"Kenz! Come downstairs and greet the visitors!" my mum shouted.
"Oof."
I sighed and tried to push Jeremy out of my mind.
I walked downstairs and greeted the guests.
The usual robotic conversations and fake pleasantries filled the house.
"Oh, there he comes," my father announced, as though I were some kind of prince.
I glanced around.
The house was packed with deaconesses dressed in colourful gowns as they chatted and gossiped. The men, dressed in their usual suits, discussed politics and other stereotypical nonsense.
Sometimes I wondered who the people of Greenville were trying to impress.
Nobody here had millions of dollars, yet they acted as though they were relatives of Bill Gates.
"Here's our future surgeon," one of the pastor's wives said dramatically.
Another woman pinched my cheek.
"This boy is too handsome."
"Any girl in mind?" the priest asked.
"No, sir."
"I'm focusing on my exams—"
Before I could finish speaking, my mother interrupted.
"Relationships are too distracting for young people."
"Oh, please," another woman said with a laugh.
"Let the boy enjoy life while he can. Soon, he won't even have time to visit his family."
I quietly slipped into the kitchen before anyone could ask more questions.
All I could think about was Jeremy's message.
"You presented yourself well," my mum said while stirring the chicken soup.
"Thank you, Mum."
I opened the fridge and grabbed a drink.
"You know, everyone downstairs thinks I mistreat you."
"Whatever, Mum."
I took a sip of my ginger ale.
"You're ignoring me now?"
My phone buzzed.
Another message.
Can we talk, please?
Leave me alone, dude, I replied, even though I knew perfectly well that I wanted to see him.
"Kenz!" my dad called from the living room.
"Come and greet Father Benedict."
I groaned and slowly walked back downstairs.
Father Benedict stood near the fireplace with a glass of wine in his hand while everyone surrounded him.
Something about him seemed strange.
"Kenz, you've become a man now."
He smiled.
"Your mother tells me you're planning to study abroad."
"Hopefully."
"Hopefully?" my mum repeated with a chuckle.
I quickly corrected myself.
"I mean, yes, Father."
"Well, if things don't work out, the church will always welcome you. There is no greater occupation than serving the Creator."
That mentality was one of the reasons so many people in Greenville never aimed for anything greater than an ordinary life.
They had no ambition.
No dreams.
Nothing.
I smiled politely as Father Benedict patted my shoulder.
If only he knew how desperately I wanted to escape.
Dinner had started twenty minutes earlier.
Everyone sat around the table while conversations flowed from one end to the other.
"Children these days are becoming something else," one woman said.
"Social media is destroying their minds."
"I'm afraid it's ruining their morality as well."
"Especially all that LGBTQ nonsense."
Not now.
Please.
I wasn't ready for this conversation.
Another woman shook her head.
"Disgusting people."
My father nodded.
"That's why children need strict homes."
My phone buzzed again.
Jeremy.
Come outside.
I ignored the message.
Another one appeared.
Bunny.
I swallowed hard.
I knew I would eventually give in.
Leave me alone!!
Strangely enough, I found myself smiling.
"What's wrong?" my mum asked.
"You haven't touched your food."
"I'm fine. I just need some air."
"Nobody leaves during fellowship," my father said.
"I'll be back."
"Kenz—"
My mum tried to stop me, but I had already walked away.
The cool night air brushed against my skin, leaving goosebumps behind.
I crossed the street.
"Jeremy?" I called.
The darkness made it difficult to see.
Jeremy hadn't changed at all.
He was still the handsome, broad-shouldered guy I had always had a crush on.
"I didn't think you'd come," he said.
"I don't have much time. What do you want?"
Despite everything he had done, I still couldn't resist him.
"Relax, babe. I just wanted to see your pretty face."
He smiled.
"I know I hurt you last summer, but let me make it up to you. How about dinner?"
I wanted to say yes.
I really did.
But I couldn't risk being seen in a restaurant with another guy.
That was Greenville for you.
"No. I have schoolwork."
"Sorry."
"Okay."
He looked disappointed.
"I should go. My dad is waiting for me."
As I turned away, Jeremy suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him.
My heart skipped a beat.
"Just one dinner?" he asked quietly.
"Or we could simply talk in your room."
Fuck.
I was already giving in.
Why did I have to be so weak?
We quietly climbed into my room through the window, trying not to alert anyone.
The atmosphere immediately became awkward.
"Still the same boring room."
Jeremy looked around.
"It looks like a library."
"Shut up."
I stepped closer to him.
I had wanted this for a long time.
I reached for him and pulled him closer.
"Possessive, aren't you?" he whispered.
His hands rested gently against my neck, and I could feel his warm breath against my skin.
"Kenz? Are you in your room?"
My sister's voice came from outside the door.
Shit.
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