Too Young To Want Him

The room felt way too quiet.

 Mark stood in front of Ava, and her hands were clenched to the point that she could hardly breathe. The beat of her heart was so loud it was bound to have made him hear it. Mark looked at her eyes fixed in a searching way, all eager to hear her answer.

Swear to me, Mark mumbled, low-pitched. "Swear it's mine."

Ava's lips shook. The truth, clawing to be free, flung itself desperately against her breast in a second. She saw the face of Marcus in her mind; she had wished that night would never have happened. The one within her was developing.

But fear was way louder.

Her chin was slowly raised, and she stared Mark in the eye.

"I swear," Ava said. "The baby's yours."

The words snapped on them like glass.

Mark stared hard, unmoving. His face didn't soften. His shoulders stayed tense. Something black crept in through his eyes--scepticism, bewilderment, perhaps a touch of indignation. You swear, he said to himself.

"Yes," Ava said, nodding fast. "I swear."

Silence stretched out.

Mark averted his gaze and rubbed both hands across his face. Then he walked around the living room, once, twice, like a caged beast. Ava stared, so tight-chested, shallow breathing.

"This is crazy," he said. "This whole thing is crazy."

"I know," Ava replied softly. "But we can handle it. We need time."

Mark stopped and looked back. You know what you are asking me to do, right?

"Yes."

You want me to take responsibility for something that will alter my entire life.

Ava nodded. "I know."

"And if I say no?" he asked.

Ava's throat went tight. "Please don't."

She had choked on the final word.

Mark looked away again. He went up to the window and looked out. His voice was monotonous. "I won't deny it. Not now."

Ava released a sigh that she had no idea she was holding. Her knees felt weak. "Thank you," she whispered. But do not suppose this makes sense to me, Mark said. "Because it doesn't."

Ava lowered her eyes.

"I will not tell them what your mother does not want them to hear," Mark repeated. "That does not imply that I am all right with it."

I know, Ava told her, but her chest was sore.

Mark turned back to her. "Good. Because I have many questions.

Patricia called out in the kitchen before Ava had time to reply. "Are you done talking?"

Mark's jaw tightened. "For now."

Patricia entered the living room with an eye-flitting look between them. "Good. Then we're clear."

Ava was being talked about as an object and not as a person.

Patricia smiled stiffly. Thanks, Mark, you did the right thing.

Mark didn't return the smile. "I'll be leaving now."

Patricia nodded. "We'll talk again soon."

Mark didn't reply. He passed by Ava without saying anything and went to the door. When he arrived at it, he stood still a moment, his hand on the handle.

"I hope you are telling the truth," Ava, he said without turning around.

Then he left.

The door shut.

Ava was standing there with her heart palpitating. She had even sworn a lie, had spoken it aloud. No way back now.

She went up the stairs, closed the door of her room and threw herself on her bed. Sheepishly, her tears swept down her cheeks.

"I am sorry," she kept on telling herself, not even knowing to whom she was apologising to any longer.

Mark, later that night, was sitting in his car holding the steering wheel.

This home he had driven to was one he knew. Bella's place.

He hadn't meant to come there. His feet had merely just delivered him, as usual, when his brain was too active.

With a sunny smile, Bella opened the door. "Mark? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She stepped aside. "Sure."

They sat in the living room. Bella followed him with her eyes; the smile on her face died away.

"You look awful," she said. "What's wrong?"

Mark rubbed the  back of his neck with his hand. "I need to tell you something."

Bella straightened. "Okay."

He hesitated. Every word felt heavy.

"Ava's pregnant," he said.

Bella blinked. "Pregnant?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause. Then she laughed softly. "Wow. That's... unexpected."

Mark didn't laugh.

Bella studied his face. "Is it yours?"

Mark's chest tightened. "That's what she says."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "That's not a yes."

It was so, she swore, Mark said hastily.

"And you believe her?" Bella asked.

Mark looked down at his hands. "I don't know."

Bella leaned back a bit. "When did this happen?"

"A while ago," he said. "Before we broke up."

Bella frowned. But you said that you and Ava were hardly together towards the end.

Mark swallowed. "I know."

Bella crossed her arms. "So what now?"

Her mother wants us to behave like a couple, Mark said. "For the baby."

Bella stared. "Act?"

"For now," he said.

Bella stood still a moment and then threw her head back and glanced at him.

Well, Mark, does this seem right to you? she said slowly.

"No," he said.

"Then why agree?"

Mark exhaled sharply. "Otherwise, her life will come apart."

The eyes of Bella turned a little softer. "And what about yours?"

He didn't answer.

Bella rose and took some strides back, reflecting. At which she returned to him with a slight smile.

Oh, you see, that does not make sense, she said.

Mark looked up sharply. "What doesn't?"

"The timing. The story. Everything," Bella said. "Something's off."

Mark's heart sank.

The smile on Bella's face never reached her eyes.

"And I don't think this is over," she added softly.

The doubt Mark had been trying to bury rose fully to the surface.

And for the first time since Ava swore the lie, he wondered if he had just stepped into something much bigger and much darker than he was ready for.