The Wrong Heart, the Right Husband

My phone buzzed. Kevin's name flashed on the screen. I declined it. It buzzed again. Declined. He called five times in a row before I finally muted the notifications.

The morning traffic roared past me, a loud blur of yellow cabs and gray sedans. I kept my head down. I passed the corner bakery. The smell of fresh yeast and melting butter turned my stomach.

Kevin used to buy me croissants there.

"I'll always take care of you, Winnie," he had promised three years ago, standing right by that green awning. "You'll never have to cry alone again."

I stopped at the crosswalk. I stared at the flashing red hand.

Three years. I met him in a sterile hospital room at St. Jude’s. The heart monitors had beeped a steady rhythm. The exact same rhythm that used to beat in Jack's chest.

Jack. My first love. The donor.

"I'm Kevin," he had whispered from the hospital bed. His pale hand reached for mine. "Jack’s mother showed me your picture."

"You have his heart," I sobbed, burying my face in his blankets.

"I do," Kevin told me, his voice raspy from the breathing tube they had just removed. "I want to honor him. Let me take care of you, Winnie. Let me be the man he would have been."

He was so gentle back then. A perfect gentleman. He pulled out chairs, brought me hot soup when I studied late, and listened to me talk about Jack without ever getting jealous. We spent three months healing together. Then we became a couple.

But the gentleman vanished.

"I'm working late," Kevin started saying a year ago, avoiding my eyes while he tied his shoes.

"Don't wait up, I'm at the library," he told me last month, brushing past me in the hallway without a kiss.

"Lisa just needs help with her notes," he insisted three months ago. I had found her cheap vanilla perfume clinging to his jacket.

"Are you sure, Kevin?" I had asked him. "She calls you every night."

"You're acting crazy, Winnie. She's a junior. I'm mentoring her. Stop being so paranoid."

I chose to believe him. I chose to be blind. Until today. Until I saw them tangled in my bed, her legs wrapped around his waist.

I needed normalcy. I needed to finish my degree so I could get a real job and stop pouring whiskey for men who grabbed my hips.

I splashed cold water on my face in a campus restroom. I scrubbed the tear tracks away, fixed my ponytail, and walked into the lecture hall.

The pre-class chatter died down as I stepped down the aisle.

Kevin stood by the front row. Lisa clung to his bicep. Her fingers dug into his gray sweater.

"Well, look who made it to class," Lisa chirped. She leaned her head against Kevin's shoulder, a smug smile stretching across her face.

I stopped right in front of them. "Get out of my seat."

"Don't be so hostile, Winnie," Lisa said. She twirled a strand of blonde hair around her finger. "We're just making weekend plans."

"I don't care about your plans. Move."

"Make me," Lisa challenged, tilting her chin up.

"I don't have the energy to fight a child," I said. "Just move."

"Kevin and I are going camping tomorrow," she continued, raising her voice so the students in the second row could hear.

I tightened my grip on my notebook.

Lisa stepped closer. She invaded my space, smelling strongly of that same vanilla perfume. "Tomorrow is your birthday, right? Want to come?"

I stared at her glossed lips. "I wouldn't go anywhere with you."

"Oh, I forgot," Lisa mocked, feigning a gasp. She put a hand over her mouth. "You have to work at night. Pouring drinks for gross old men. You don't have time for a real relationship anyway."

I shifted my gaze to Kevin. He stared at the chalkboard.

"Are you really going to let her talk to me like this?" I asked.

Kevin shoved his hands into his pockets. He didn't meet my eyes.

"Say something, Kevin," I demanded. "You had plenty to say this morning when you were begging me to wait in the hallway."

Silence. He just chewed on his bottom lip.

"Cat got his tongue," Lisa laughed. "He doesn't want you, Winnie. He told me you're boring. He said you just act like a martyr because of your dad's debt."

"Shut up, Lisa," Kevin muttered, finally speaking.

"Don't tell her to shut up now," I said, my voice dropping to a harsh whisper. "You let her into my bed. You let her wear my sheets."

A few students gasped behind me.

"Winnie, keep your voice down," Kevin hissed. He glanced around the room nervously.

"Why? Are you embarrassed?" I stepped toward him. He shrank back.

"You have Jack's heart beating in your chest," I said. "Jack was a good man. He died to give you a second chance. How did you turn out to be such a coward?"

Kevin flinched. His jaw tightened. A flash of guilt crossed his face, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Come on, Kev," Lisa sneered, tugging his arm again. "Don't let her guilt-trip you. She's just bitter because she's broke."

"I'm not bitter," I said. I hoisted my backpack higher on my shoulder. "I'm done."

"Good," Lisa said. "We didn't want you here anyway."

I turned my back on them. I marched toward the exit.

"Have fun serving drinks, birthday girl!" Lisa called out behind me.

I pushed the heavy double doors open and stepped into the courtyard. The cold wind slapped my cheeks. My chest ached. I refused to cry. Not over him. Not over a boy who threw away a second chance at life just to cheat in a cheap apartment.

I sat on a stone bench near the fountain. I pulled out my notes, trying to focus on the upcoming midterms. The letters blurred together on the page.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

I pulled it out, half-expecting Vance to demand his lip gloss again.

It was Mom.

I swiped the screen and pressed the speaker to my ear. "Mom? I'm just leaving class."

"Winnie," she sobbed.

I froze. My spine locked up. "Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Baby, can you come to the hospital?" Her voice cracked. Static and panic distorted her words.

"Which hospital? Did something happen with the debt collectors?"

"No, no, it's not the collectors." She took a ragged, wet breath.

"Then what is it?" I stood up. My notebook slid off my lap and hit the dirt.

"It's your dad."

"Dad? I just saw him on Tuesday. He was fine."

"He collapsed, Winnie. His kidneys." She broke down into a heavy wail. "He's failing fast."

"I'm coming," I said. My blood ran cold. "I'm on my way right now."

"Hurry," she whispered. "The doctors say he's not going to make it through the day."