The Sun I Followed Into the Abyss

Victoria glanced at me, told me to stay put at home, and then left with Mike.

I remained standing at the door for a long time even after they'd left. A few neighbors walking past our door saw me there, and they began whispering among themselves.

"I must say, Victoria is such a pitiful young woman. She already has her hands full taking care of things at the company during the day, and then, she has to come home to take care of this mentally-challenged idiot at night."

"I heard that the guy, Mike, had tried proposing to her a couple of times, but she kept turning him down because she couldn't bear abandoning that idiot."

"Really, Victoria is just too kind. In times like this, it's only right that she sends him to the mental hospital to be taken care of."

"Or it would be even better if he died. I'm sure that her days would be much better and her future would be brighter without him."

I felt a shudder in my chest when I heard them. I couldn't stop myself from approaching them. However, the moment they saw me walking toward them, they quickly backed away, fear evident in their eyes.

I blinked at them and asked anxiously, "Is it true? Will Vicky not be sad anymore if I go to the mental hospital?"

When they didn't answer, I pressed them for answers and asked again, "Also… will Vicky be happy if I'm dead?"

They still didn't answer my question. Instead, they just walked around me and left hurriedly, as though I was some kind of plague to be avoided.

I stared at their disappearing backs and suddenly recalled how Victoria once brought me to a park very, very far away on my birthday last year. She told me to sit on the bench before petting me gently on the head and said, "Wait for me here, Jo. I'll be right back."

I waited at the bench from morning till night, until the streetlights turned on, one by one, but she still never came back for me.

In the end, I relied on my vague memories to slowly find my way back to the apartment. I even thought back then that she must be very anxious because I'd been gone and missing for hours. But when she opened the door and saw that it was me, there wasn't an ounce of happiness on her face—just sadness and disappointment.

I finally understood it all now. She had planned to abandon me back then, hadn't she?

I felt my nose tingling all of a sudden. I crouched and buried my face between my knees as tears trickled down from my eyes.

But I quickly remembered what the neighbors said. According to them, Victoria would be happier and have an easier life if I disappeared. Would that mean she would smile happily, too?

At that thought, I stood back up, wiped the tears away from my face, and mustered the courage to leave the apartment building.

I wandered aimlessly down the road for a long time, paying no attention to where I was going or whether it was safe to cross the street. I didn't know how to find my way to the mental hospital the neighbors had been talking about.

While distracted in the middle of the road, a speeding car suddenly approached me. I froze on the spot, unable to move my legs.

Right at that moment, a pair of arms yanked me back onto the sidewalk.

I looked up in shock and saw Victoria's worried and frightened face staring back at me.

"Jordan! Did I not tell you to stay put at home? What the hell are you doing out here on your own? You idiot, can't you just let me stop worrying about you for just a single day? Are you only happy if I were to die, worrying about you every single time?"

I watched her break down and finally say in a shaky voice, "I just wanted to go to the mental hospital… I just wanted to—"

She was shocked when she heard me say that. A hint of remorse appeared in her eyes. However, it quickly disappeared as she raised her voice at me.

"What the hell are you talking about? Did those damn neighbors start talking shit about you again?"

I quickly shook my head and tried to defend myself.

"No. I was the one who wanted to go there. Can't you bring me there, Vicky? Please?"

Just as the words rolled from my mouth, she suddenly cupped my face in her hands and yelled at me, "I will never abandon you, Jordan Hurley! Never!

"I will always protect you and take care of you for the rest of my life! So stop thinking nonsense like this."

I looked at her red-rimmed eyes and nodded obediently. However, I knew very well in my heart that it wasn't the case.

Because when the car had been about to hit me earlier, I had already seen her standing on the sidewalk, hesitating for several seconds over whether she should save me.