The Crime of Loving

Massimo’s eyes were cold, but as his dark gaze held mine captive, they swirled with menace. As if a game had begun. It was a game only he knew the rules to. A game I was bound to lose. And the longer I kept my eyes on him, the more I believed my ways of deceit would be put to the test.

I wanted to leave this room, take this dress off, and spar until my body gave in. I wanted to say, “The hell to Massimo,” and board the next plane back to Italy. To the New York Syndicate, that was a treacherous dream. With the end of my time in Italy, all I knew was the Mafia life.

And in this life, I knew how to fight.

Massimo scoffed. My thoughts weren’t safe around him.

“Alessandra Zanetti.” My name rolled effortlessly from his tongue with his faint Italian accent. “I thought you were a myth. Guess they just kept you well hidden.”

The game had started.

“They did for years in the old country. That is until you are needed to fulfill your duty,” I spat.

Aldo wanted me to sell this union, and this was my way. With my voice loud and clear. To a man like Massimo, he would see my spirit as a challenge. He will say yes, if only to banish it.

I was baiting him, and as he chuckled darkly, I knew I had.

“Does your boss know about this?” he asked Aldo without releasing his gaze from mine.

Massimo was toying with him as he pushed lines no other man dared to cross. Even with one question, he had reminded Aldo he wasn’t the Boss of New York. Our father was, making him unable to make such agreements without permission.

Without looking at my eldest brother, I knew he envisioned every way he could gut the man before him. After all, that was what our family did best. Cut, carve, and butcher. But unlike Massimo, Aldo was born into this world and tailored to the role. It was only a matter of time before New York would answer to him.

“My orders are to fix the problem and solidify the family. I am only following orders. I don’t make them yet.”

I’ve been around made-men all my life. I was a principessa. But this…this was different. My future was hanging at the hands of a ruthless bastard. A killer with a brutal reputation.

Even then, I was here to get the answer I needed.

As I stood across his desk, my eyes traveled over Massimo’s jaw. The shadow of his beard didn’t let a reaction slip by, but I kept looking for the tells. My gaze slid down his neck. Portions of his tanned skin were covered in tattoos, piquing my interest in their meaning, if they had any at all. By the amount of ink on his neck, I knew there was more underneath his crisp suit. My eyes were distracted by them, so I looked for his hands instead. I hunted for a twitch, a habit. Instead, his large, inked hands rested on his desk without a single movement.

I could feel his eyes on me while he raised his left hand to his jaw. Massimo ran his hand along his raspy beard, getting what he wanted when my eyes halted on his lips.

Damn him. I’d done it unconsciously.

Indeed, this was a dangerous game.

I didn’t hide when our eyes met again. Once they locked, he gave me the answer I was looking for.

An ominous smile spread across his face as he said it.

“Deal.”

ALESSANDRA

New York

“Deal.”

My eyes tore open, snapping me away from the vivid dream of Massimo’s piercing dark eyes on me as his one word sealed a vow.

Laying still underneath the covers of my bed, I felt the racing pace of my heartbeat. The rise and fall of my chest as I looked into the dark room. I clenched my fists to release the prickling sensation in my fingertips and tried shaking away the vision of him.

It was useless.

I couldn’t even call it a nightmare. It was a memory filled with mistrust and uncertainty that kept me on edge.

Frustrated, I left my bed and stepped toward the large windows and slid the black-out curtains open. As I looked out to the manicured lawn I’d roamed aimlessly as a child, I was surprised to see Aldo’s car parked on the drive.

I’d called him for three days, asking him to please get me out of my father's home. To forget about masochist traditions and mafia etiquette and just drop me off at a hotel. There were no answers to each call or text message.

But he was here now, and I couldn’t stay cooped up in this room anymore.

This home reminded me of the scared child I’d once been, and the longer I stayed here, the more my mind reacted to old memories and fears.

Quickly, I rushed away from the window and past the four-post bed my father replaced the day after my mother’s death.

He had removed any details she had left behind.

The bathroom lights were merciless as they pronounced my lack of sleep. I knew it would take some time for me to conceal the dark circles under my eyes. I sped through my morning routine in hopes of catching Aldo, and once my face showed no weaknesses, I left the bathroom in search of a fitted dress.

Ignoring the sprawled suitcase at the foot of the bed, I reached the closet door where my garment bag hung heavily. I hadn’t bothered placing my belongings inside a home I had no desire to ever step foot in again. It will all remain unpacked, longing for each passing day to be the last in this never-ending jar of memories.

After picking a suitable white and black dress, I stared at my reflection and strapped my push dagger under the skirt of the dress.