The Alpha I Cannot Love

Kai tossed the plastic bottle. It hit my chest and clattered to the tile floor.

"Take your medicine, Lyra," he sneered, his eyes pitch-black voids. "My father is hosting the entire pack tonight. Do not embarrass our family."

He turned and stalked down the corridor, leaving me trembling against the lockers.

Hours later, music swelled in the grand hall of the estate. Crystal chandeliers cast a harsh, unforgiving light over the evening banquet.

"Keep your distance from him," my mother whispered, pinching my arm hard enough to leave a mark. "The elders are watching."

She was right. Dozens of older wolves lined the edges of the room, their sharp gazes tracking every movement in the hall. They were looking for weakness. They were looking for any sign of a bond between the Alpha heir and his human stepsister.

"I brought you some punch," a gentle voice interrupted.

Ethan appeared beside me, offering a crystal glass. He wore a sharp gray suit, his relaxed posture a stark contrast to the rigid wolves around us.

"Thank you, Ethan," I managed, forcing the corners of my mouth up. I stayed glued to his side, letting his presence act as a shield.

An older man with a silver beard approached us. Elder Ryland.

"Beta Ethan," Ryland rumbled, his gaze shifting to evaluate me. "You make a surprisingly good pair. Grounded. Sensible."

"She is easy to be around, sir," Ethan replied, stepping closer to me.

I took a sip of the sweet liquid, but it tasted like dry ash. Every smile I faked felt like swallowed glass. My eyes betrayed me, darting across the crowded room against my own will.

Kai stood by the massive stone fireplace.

He was not alone.

Mia wore a skin-tight red dress that left nothing to the imagination. She laughed at something he said, tilting her head back. Kai wrapped a large hand around her waist, pulling her flush against his side.

A phantom blade sliced through my ribs.

"You are a fantastic dancer, Kai," Mia projected her voice, ensuring the surrounding wolves heard every syllable.

"You make it easy," Kai replied.

He did not look at her. His gaze cut straight through the crowd and locked entirely on me.

The dinner bell rang, sparing me from staring at them any longer.

Guests filed toward the massive oak dining table. I sat next to Ethan near the middle. Kai took the seat directly across from me. Mia slid into the chair beside him, instantly resting her head on his broad shoulder.

Kai did not push her off. He leaned into her touch, wrapping his arm around the back of her chair.

Every time he smiled at her, the rejected mate bond twisted in my gut, wringing the life out of my organs. The tearing sensation of our fractured destiny swept through my entire body. I gripped my napkin under the table, my knuckles turning stark white.

"Are you cold?" Ethan asked, noticing my shivering frame. He draped his suit jacket over my shoulders.

"I am fine," I lied smoothly.

Kai’s hand slammed onto the table. The silver cutlery rattled violently against the porcelain plates.

"Something wrong, Kai?" Richard asked from the head of the table, his tone thick with authority.

"Just a muscle cramp," Kai ground out. He picked up his wine glass, his eyes flashing a dangerous gold. "Ethan. You are very attentive tonight."

"Lyra deserves to be treated well, Alpha," Ethan answered evenly.

Kai laughed, a harsh, scraping sound that set my teeth on edge. He shifted his arm, pulling Mia even closer. "Loyalty is a rare trait. Some people just latch onto the nearest available option."

"At least Ethan is genuine," I shot back. My voice trembled, but I refused to lower my chin. "He does not have to put on a show to prove his worth."

Silence crashed over the table. The elders stopped eating.

Kai stared at me, the intensity of his gaze burning a hole through my defenses. Beneath the anger, a raw, undeniable agony swirled in his irises. He was hurting just as much as I was. We were drowning in a sea of intense love, yet we sat here using other people as weapons to stab each other.

"A show?" Kai whispered, the sound carrying easily to my ears.

He turned to Mia, cupping her cheek with his large hand. "Am I putting on a show, Mia?"

"Of course not," she giggled, leaning into his palm.

My lungs refused to expand.

The air in the dining room vanished. The bond screamed, tearing my soul into jagged pieces. I shoved my chair back. It screeched violently against the hardwood floor.

"Excuse me," I choked out.

I did not wait for my mother's scolding. I turned and ran.

I burst through the heavy glass patio doors.

Thunder cracked overhead, shaking the ground beneath my feet. A torrential downpour washed over the estate, instantly soaking my formal dress.

I ignored the cold. I ran past the manicured lawns and plunged straight into the dense woods of the back mountain.

Mud sucked at my shoes. Wet branches slapped my face, leaving stinging scratches across my cheeks.

My heart hammered an erratic, terrifying rhythm. The stimulant pills were useless against the physical toll of a rejected mate bond.

I tripped over an exposed root and crashed into the freezing mud.

My arms gave out. I dragged myself to the base of a massive oak tree and curled into a tight ball.

Tears mixed with the freezing rain. I sobbed silently, pressing both hands hard against my chest to keep my heart from fracturing entirely.

The rejection was literal poison. My human body was failing.

Snap.

A heavy boot crushed a branch in the darkness.

I forced my heavy eyelids open.

Through the thick sheets of rain, a tall figure stood motionless.

Kai.

He had completely abandoned Mia. He stood twelve meters away, his expensive suit soaked and clinging to his muscular frame. Water dripped from his dark hair, masking whatever expression he wore.

"Go away!" I screamed, my voice barely carrying over the storm.

He did not move.

He just stood there, staring at my pathetic, trembling form. His hands balled into tight fists at his sides. His chest heaved with ragged breaths.

"You made your choice!" I yelled, the pain boiling over into sheer fury. "Go back to her!"

Kai’s boots shifted in the mud, but he did not step forward.

He looked like a man standing on the edge of a cliff, desperate to jump but chained to the rock. Every fiber of his wolf demanded he close the gap and pull me from the dirt.

But his steps were too heavy. He remained rooted to the spot, torturing himself by watching me break.

A sudden, violent spasm ripped through my chest.

My vision flashed white.

I gasped, but no oxygen reached my lungs. A warm, metallic liquid bubbled up my throat. I coughed, spitting a dark splatter of blood onto the wet leaves.

Kai roared, a deafening, inhuman sound that tore through the thunder.

He finally lunged forward, but the world was already fading to black.