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NOT YOURS TO LOSE, EX-HUSBAND  Novel Cover

NOT YOURS TO LOSE, EX-HUSBAND

My ex-husband, Reese Beaumont, sent me divorce papers on our anniversary, five years after I walked down the aisle to join him. I signed them with a red lipstick and sent them back to him, with a short note which read: "I am not going to give you the liberty of thinking you still own me." Now, one year later, he is standing in my office, the smug look in his eyes gone, and for some reason, still wearing our wedding ring. "You're still mine, Roxanne. You didn't sign the divorce papers, and you seem to forget that you're nothing without me." A soft chuckle escape my lips, right as my fake fiancé walks in, holding our one-year-old son. The son Reese never knew I was pregnant with. "Funny," I mutter. "Because I don't remember you being in control of the game." Now, he's everywhere, showing up at my gallery and outbidding my fake fiancé at my auctions. Telling the media we are on the road to reconciliation. But I am not the same woman who cried for him one year ago. I am the woman he never expected to walk out the door. And the one he'll always regret letting go.
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Chapter 6

Roxanne's POV

The street is empty when I step out, wrapping my arms around myself.

Lennox and Isaiah are nowhere in sight, and I don't blame them. I asked ten to leave, after all. Now,I fe stupid for not listening to Lennox, for thinking I could talk sense into Reese with Camilla there, poisoning every word before it leaves my mouth.

I stand on the sidewalk, the night air chilly against my skin, all thanks to the thin fabric of my clothes. I have to return to Lennox's place. There is no way I am going to sleep in that house, or I'll lose what little sanity I have left.

It is 11 at night, but I don't mind. Luckily, a cab turns the corner, and I flag it down, getting in and rattling off Lennox's address to the driver. He nods, and I sink into the backseat, watching the house disappear behind us.

The tears return then, silent and hot, trickling down my cheeks. I press my palm against my stomach, feeling nothing but the flatness there. But I know. The Doctor said so. There is a baby growing there. I and Reese's child, only that he doesn't believe me.

Lennox's penthouse lobby is bright when I arrive, and I let myself in with the code. I take the elevator up, each floor adding weight to my chest until I am struggling to breathe by the time the doors slide open.

Lennox answers on the second knock, his eyes widening when he sees me standing there.

"Roxanne." His voice is soft and careful.

He doesn't say "I told you so," even though it's there in his eyes. He just steps aside, letting me in. "Come in."

I move past him like a ghost, floating forward even though I don't know where I am going. Lennox's hand touches my elbow gently, bringing me back to reality.

"Guest room is this way," he murmurs. "Everything you need is already in there. Fresh towels, and toiletries. I'll get you some clothes."

I nod because words feel impossible at this point. He opens the door to a room bathed in grays and whites, the bed already made with crisp sheets. It looks like a safe space, and I almost break right there.

"Take your time," Lennox says. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. "

I step into the bathroom, and the shower runs hot. I stand under the spray, letting it hit against my shoulders and back, washing away the remnants of tonight. Of the blood that flowed out of me, the accusations and the way Reese looked at me like a liar.

When I finally step out, there is a neatly folded set of clothes on the bed-one of Lennox's old cotton shirts and sweatpants. I slip them on, the fabrics hanging loose on my frame. They smell like laundry detergent and Lennox. A reminder that I was safe, seen and appreciated here.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red, and my face puffy. I look like someone I don't recognize.

A knock sounds at the door.

"Roxanne," Lennox calls. "I made tea. Can I come in?'

"Yes."

He enters carrying a steaming mug, setting it down on the nightstand. He doesn't ask if I want to talk. He doesn't push. He just sits on the edge of the bed, giving me space but staying close enough that I know he is here.

I pick up the mug, feeling the warmth from it, but it does nothing to the coldness and ache in my chest.

"He didn't believe me," I whisper, my voice breaking. "About the baby."

Lennox's jaw tightens, but he still doesn't say a word. Just listen.

"I thought..." I stop, swallowing hard. This was hard, oh goodness. "I thought he would be happy. We've been trying for so long, and finally, I'm pregnant, and he thinks I'm lying because that witch says so."

The mug trembles in my hands, and Lennox reaches over, steadying it.

"He chose her," I continue, the words forcing themselves out. "He chose Camilla over his wife of three whole years. Over our baby."

"He chose her," I continue, the words tumbling out now. "He chose Camilla over me. Over our baby."

And just like that, memories of our wedding day come rushing back like a flood. Reese is standing at the altar in his suit, his eyes fixed on me as I walk down the aisle. The way he looks at me then, like I am the only person in the world, like he cannot believe his luck.

His smile is broad and genuine, reaching all the way to his eyes.

"You're beautiful," he whispers when I reach him, taking my hands in his. They are firm and reassuring.

"I can't wait to spend eternity with you," he says during his vows. "You're my everything, Roxanne."

I believe him. Every word.

The memory disappeared as it came, and I am back in Lennox's guest room, the tea totally forgotten. A sob escapes my throat, loud and ugly. I press my hand to my mouth, trying to hold it down, but it is too late.

Everything comes tumbling out. Three years of being the perfect wife, just for a strange woman to infiltrate and make me invisible in my own home.

Lennox moves without hesitation, pulling me into his arms. I collapse against him, my hands grabbing his shirt as I ugly cry. He doesn't tell me to stop. He just holds me.

"You can stay as long as you want," he only murmurs into my hair. "As long as you need. You're safe here, Roxanne."

I don't know how long I cried, but I find myself being tucked in. Lennox drags the blanket over me, and I pull it up my chin. My hand finds my stomach again, resting there protectively.

My eyes are heavy with exhaustion and I let them close.

My phone buzzes close to me, the sound muffled. I should check it. It could be Reese. It could be...

But sleep is already dragging me under with it, and I am too tired to fight it.

The phone just keeps buzzing, and then stops.

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