No Going Back

Sean froze at my words, looking at me with slight confusion. “Jane, don’t talk nonsense. Is your leg hurting that badly? Here, let me blow on it for you.”

He kneeled on one knee and gently blew on the burn.

Back when I was learning to ride a bike and fell, he used to do this—smiling and coaxing me out of my tears.

However, the wounds on the body can heal, but not the ones in the heart.

I stopped him and met his eyes seriously. “Sean, I mean it.”

“Why?”

He could not seem to accept it. Standing up, he looked down at me from above. “Just because I spoke up for some waitress?”

I nodded, too tired to argue anymore. “Let’s just call it that.”

I was sure he already knew the real reason and wasn’t about to tear off that thin veil between us. It would only make things uglier.

Seeing that I wasn’t budging, Sean’s expression darkened.

“Jane,” he rasped, “are you sure about this? You’d throw away seven years of us over something so small?”

My fingers curled slightly.

Then I thought of all the times I’d spent nights alone, of the empty chairs at dinners he promised to attend, of the strange perfume lingering on his shirts…

All the nights I lay awake, sick with fear of losing him, and suddenly, I had all the courage and resolve I needed.

I just wanted a good night’s sleep, without the constant anxiety over him.

So I nodded, pulled out my phone, and called a lawyer friend I knew. “Please help me draft a divorce agreement with Sean. The sooner, the better.”

When I hung up, Sean’s face had gone completely cold, his voice edged with anger. “Jane, maybe I’ve spoiled you too much after we got married that you’ve forgotten what’s important.

“I’ve already lowered myself to talk to you like this, and you’re still being unreasonable!”

He bent over and trapped me in his arms, his eyes a mix of icy malice and fury that was dark as ink.

“This relationship started because of me, so it should end when I say so. Who do you think you are to bring up divorce first?”

I froze.

A second later, he let go, but only to drive the point home. He snorted, “Fine, we can divorce. But remember, it’s because I don’t want you anymore.

“You think you’re still the girl you were back then? Please. There are plenty of women out there, younger and prettier than you. I don’t need you, Jane.”

The hospital room door slammed so hard it shook.

On his way out, he bumped into the doctor treating me, making the cotton swab press hard against my burn.

The sting in my leg was sharp, but somehow, my heart hurt more.

Sean was right. I wasn’t the young, radiant Jane I once was. However, he was no longer the gentle, genuine boy I remembered either.

I realized then that he would always hit me with a stick and hand me candy, dangling those memories of our younger love just enough to keep me.

What I’d been swallowing all this time was his expired love.

On the outside, it was coated in honey. Inside, it was sour, bitter, and laced with shards of glass, sharp enough to cut my heart.