My Lover Called Our Dead Baby a Bastard

The email sat in my sent folder. No subject. No message. Two attachments.

I stared at it for a second. Then I got to work.

Phone number first. Blocked. Then his texts, his calls, his voicemail. Then every app on my phone. I went one by one, like I was cutting wires on a bomb. Tap. Confirm. Next.

His face disappeared from my screen. Six years of photos, work threads, and "Where's my charger?" messages went quiet.

My thumb was steady. That scared me a little.

Then I opened my contacts and scrolled to a name I hadn't touched in months.

Viviana Hart.

She used to say it back in college. *Call me at 3 AM. I'll pick up.* I'd laughed. I never thought I'd need it.

I hit call before I could change my mind.

She answered on the second ring.

"Iris." Her voice was rough with sleep, then sharp. "What happened?"

I opened my mouth. Nothing came out.

"Iris. Talk to me."

Then it all came out at once. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I told her about Noel. About the promise. About six years of cooking and spreadsheets and sitting beside a man who never once asked if I was tired.

I told her about the night with the whiskey. The two pink lines. The hospital.

"I was on the floor, Viv," I said. My voice cracked down the middle. "In the hallway. It was so cold. And he was just down the hall, and he didn't know."

She didn't say a word.

I told her about the peonies. The card. *I never left your side.* I told her about the word he used. *Heartless.*

Then I told her about the phone call.

"He called it a bastard," I whispered. "Our baby. He said he was glad it was gone."

The line went so quiet I thought the call had dropped.

"Viv?"

"I'm here." Her breath was slow and controlled. It sounded like someone holding a door shut against a storm. "Did you send it? The footage?"

"Yes."

"Good." A pause. Then, flat as a blade: "Your flight is tomorrow morning."

I wiped my face with my sleeve. "Viv, I can't just—"

"Yes, you can."

"My apartment. My things. I don't even have a plan."

"You have a suitcase, and you have me." She was already typing. I could hear the keys. "Iris, listen. You are not leaving because you're weak. You're leaving because you finally remembered you're strong. Now go pack."

I looked at the open suitcase on my bed. It was half full.

"Okay," I said.

"Say it again."

"Okay. I'm coming."

By dawn, the suitcase was zipped. Just one. Six years of my life fit inside it with room to spare. That told me something, and I didn't want to think about what.

I left my key on the kitchen counter. The onions were still on the cutting board where I'd dropped the knife. They had gone brown and soft.

I didn't clean them up. For the first time in six years, I let a mess stay a mess.

The cab smelled like old coffee. The driver asked, "JFK?" and I said yes. The city slid past the window, gray and wet and waking up. I watched the bridges go by. I did not look at the Midtown skyline.

At the gate, I held my boarding pass with both hands. When they called my row, I stood. I walked down the jet bridge. I did not turn around.

The red-eye took off in the dark. I pressed my forehead against the cold window and watched New York shrink into a handful of lights.

Then it was gone.

---

Heathrow was loud and gray and smelled like rain.

I came through the arrivals doors dragging my suitcase, dizzy, hollow, and running on nothing. I scanned the crowd and didn't see her.

Then I did.

Viviana stood at the front of the barrier in a sharp black coat and red lipstick. She didn't wave. She didn't smile. She just walked straight through the crowd and wrapped both arms around me.

She held on hard. No words. Her chin dug into my shoulder, and I felt her shaking. Just a little.

I broke first.

"I've got you," she said into my hair, so quiet only I could hear.

When she pulled back, she pressed something cold into my palm. A set of keys on a plain steel ring.

"Your apartment," she said. "Ten minutes from the office. Fridge is full. Don't argue."

"I wasn't going to."

"Good. You never used to say that."

I laughed. It came out wet and strange. It was the first time in days.

Three days later, she brought me to the office to meet our investor.

"He's a little quiet," she warned in the elevator. "Don't take it personally. And don't be weird."

"Why would I be weird?"

Viviana gave me a look I couldn't read. "No reason."

The conference room was all glass and soft light. A man stood by the window with his back to us. Tall. Dark coat. When he turned, I felt something tug in my memory. A boy in the back row of English class. Head down. Pen tapping.

"Iris," Viviana said, "this is Stefan Crawford."

He crossed the room and held out his hand. His grip was warm and steady. His eyes didn't leave my face, but they weren't hungry or curious. They were just calm.

"It's good to see you again, Iris."

That was all.

No speech about old times. No talk of money, or deals, or why a man like him had bet on a startup nobody knew.

He just let go of my hand and pulled out a chair for me.

On the table, in front of that chair, sat a paper cup. I picked it up. Oat milk. One sugar.

Exactly how I like it.

I looked up. Stefan was already looking at his notes.

I never told anyone that.