My Captain's Love Sank Before I Did

In the end, Elijah bent over and gave Kristen mouth-to-mouth.

I sat on the edge of the boat, watching in a daze. To be fair, anyone would've pitied Kristen in that moment. She was helpless and sobbing. Even I couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for her.

Then, I looked down at my weightless body. My heart had long stopped beating, yet somehow, my chest still ached.

When Kristen finally caught her breath, she lightly touched her lips where Elijah had just kissed. Flustered, she asked, "Will Gwen be jealous if she finds out? I'd hate to come between you two."

Uncertainty flickered in Elijah's eyes, but it quickly gave way to firm resolve.

"Kristen, it was an emergency. I had to do it. What matters now is that you're safe. Gwendolyn will understand," he replied.

At those words, a bitter laugh escaped me. What was I supposed to understand?

Was I supposed to understand that, in a life-and-death moment, he wouldn't even glance at his girlfriend struggling in the water? Or that he could throw away everything we had shared over the past three years for another woman?

But the weight of it quickly sank in. What did it matter now? I was already dead, after all.

The lifeboat rose and fell with the choppy waves. All the while, Kristen nestled against Elijah's chest, gazing at the endless horizon.

"Eli, I've never seen anything so beautiful," she said lightly. "Even if I die today, I'd have no regrets."

"Don't say that!" Elijah chided, though there was more affection than anger in his tone.

He held her tight, as if afraid she might slip away from him. "You're going to live. We still have a lifetime together."

Such sweet words. Unfortunately, they weren't meant for me. I doubted I was included in the future he spoke of.

Just then, an urgent voice crackled through the boat's radio.

"Captain Jensen, come in! This is Staff Captain Oscar Baker. We've completed the headcount, but one person is missing. We're turning back to look for them."

I shook my head. There was no point wasting time or fuel on me. In this ghostly state, I knew I was beyond saving.

Without hesitation, Elijah replied firmly, "No need. The missing person is here with me."

His certainty stunned me for a moment. He must've forgotten that Kristen wasn't even on the official passenger list. He had smuggled her aboard himself.

Then again, I had never really been someone he considered.

The line went quiet for a moment before Oscar's incredulous voice came back through the static. "But the ship's life scanner is picking up a signal in the surrounding waters!"

Elijah didn't waver. "The system doesn't have a proper frequency filter. It probably mistook a whale for a human."

"But… I've got a bad feeling about this, Captain Jensen."

Oscar's voice trailed off. Clearly, his confidence was faltering.

Enraged, Elijah slammed the radio onto the deck. "Enough! You call that professionalism? We sail with skill and data, not gut feeling!"

The line stayed silent until his anger subsided. Eventually, he let out a sigh and added, "If you don't believe me, do whatever you want."

The waves crashed against the boat, their slaps sounding like the sea itself was protesting for me.

I swallowed the bitterness in my throat before sighing quietly. How was it that a stranger could sense something was wrong, yet the man I had loved for three years felt nothing at all?

Then, I saw the tenderness in Elijah's eyes as he looked at Kristen. In that instant, I understood.

It was because I had never really mattered. I was nothing more than a stand-in, a placeholder to fill the emptiness in his heart.