Intriguing Darkness

I stood in the doorway of the bedroom while Matt packed his bags.

“I just need some space,” he said as he threw his clothes haphazardly into his large Nike bag.

“Does this have anything to do with that whore you met at Kath´s the other night?”

“Emily, come on, I told you nothing happened.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “You tell me a lot of things Matt.”

He threw the last of his clothes in his Nike bag and turned around to face me, “We both knew we were heading for this, things have been rocky for a while now, and you know why.”

“Rocky for you because you are searching for something that does not exist.”

He let out a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry Emily I just can’t do this anymore.”

I followed him to the small space we call the living room as he dropped his bag on the floor. He reached in his jean pocket and threw some money on the table, “This is for the next couple of months so you can pay the rent.” He kissed me on my forehead and headed for the door.

I crossed my arms and stared at him, “I don’t want your money; I want you to stay. Please Matt; don’t give up on us.”

I was now the most pathetic person in the world, begging my douchebag boyfriend to stay; not because I thought I was in love with him, but because I was afraid of being alone, and being alone was something that was all too familiar to me.

He picked up his bag from the ground and slung it over his shoulder, “Take care Emily,” and just like that he walked out. I stood in the middle of the living room and looked at the closed door as tears escaped my eyes.

Matt and I have been together since sophomore year of college. We both attended Michigan State University and met at a frat party when he was a Delta Sigma Phi. Matt was a good looking guy with his 6ft stature and medium build. He was not exactly eye candy, but he was cute. He always kept his jet black hair perfectly combed, and his dark brown eyes reminded me of my one favorite thing in the world, chocolate. Matt was the person whose presence lit up the room. His charm and romance is what swept me off my feet. He studied accounting while I studied Art. It was not too long after we graduated that his cousin got him a job at the large accounting firm where he was employed. This is how we ended up moving from Michigan to New York. Matt worked full-time as an accountant and made pretty decent money, so I was able to take on a part-time job at a record company and finish painting the pictures I promised the art gallery.

We rented a one bedroom apartment that was small, but it was our home for the past year and it made us happy; at least I thought it did. I took my teary eyed self and sat on the couch, curled in a ball and cried myself to sleep.

I had not been sleeping long when I was startled by a knock on the door. I sat up and looked around the room, eyes swollen and red.

“Emily, are you in there?” I heard a familiar voice say as she pounded on the door. I got up from the couch and stumbled to open the door. Penny always seemed to know when I needed her most. She threw her hands up in the air.

“Emily, it is about time, I thought I was going to have to break down the door.” She put her arms around me and hugged me tight. I motioned for her to come in as she pushed her way through and set a large brown bag on the table.

“I come bearing douchebag boyfriend food,” she smiled as she rummaged through the bag. She removed the boxes of Chinese food and set them on the table.

“We have Mongolian Beef, Lettuce Wraps, Chicken Fried Rice, Wonton soup and chocolate ice cream for dessert.”

Her grin went from ear to ear, but quickly fell as I dropped my head and curled back up on my couch. Penny sighed heavily as she walked over and sat next to me.

“Matt texted me and said he left. He wanted me to come over to check on you and make sure you were ok.”

I lifted my head from my arms. Who the fuck did he think he was sending my best friend over to see if I was ok? I thought as angered burned inside me.

“He said he left because of irreconcilable differences.”

“What are we married?” I growled.

Penny gave me a sympathetic smile and walked to the kitchen to grab plates and silverware for the food sitting on the table. I could not stop thinking about Matt and how he just left. We were never apart for more than a couple of days, and now we’d be apart forever and once again I was alone. I knew why he decided to leave, and for that reason I hated him. I gave him every opportunity to tell me the truth, but he could not even look me in the eye and do that. He was a coward, and I had no room in my life for cowards. Even though I felt sick to my stomach, I got up and made my way to the table as Penny put some food on my plate.

“Listen Emily, Matt is a douchebag, and I’m sorry you wasted the last four years of your life with him. You need to focus on something else. You need to finish your paintings and get them over to the art gallery so people can find out who Emily White truly is,” she said waving her fork around. I lightly smiled because I knew she was right; if there was one way I could escape the hurt and loneliness, it was through my paintings. She reached over and put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze, “Don’t worry I’ll be here for you.”

I met Penny at the art gallery the day I stopped by to talk to the owner about displaying my paintings. The minute she asked, “May I help you,” we clicked and have been best friends ever since. One thing about Penny is her personality, its way bigger than her 5’2”, Size 0 body. She always sports the perfect look with her long straight brown hair and perfectly placed makeup that enhances her bright blue eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her dress in a pair of sweatpants; for her it is all about style with skirts and cute little tops. There isn’t a shortage of guys when Penny is around. They’re always flirting with her, but she has yet to find the perfect man to give her heart to.

I didn’t feel like eating, but I knew I had to appease Penny or she would not leave me alone.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

I set my fork down, “Nah, I just want to be alone. I think I’ll go take a bath.”

I got up from the table and headed to the bathroom. I turned the water on and poured a capful of bubble bath in its stream. I twisted my long blonde hair up and clipped it to prevent it from getting wet. I climbed in the bubble filled tub and slid down until my head was resting on the bath pillow behind me. I laid there, closed my eyes and tried to think of a plan, but I was to grief-stricken, and I needed the proper amount of time to wallow in self-pity before moving on with my life as a single female.

By the time I got out of the bathtub, Penny had everything cleaned up. She had left me a text message saying, “Emily, get some rest and call me if you need anything. I’ll call you tomorrow, love you always.”

I smiled for she was about the only family I had left. My mother passed away from cancer when I was six, and my father died right before my eighteenth birthday. I had an aunt and uncle back in Michigan, but I have not seen or heard from them since my dad died. I always considered Matt’s parents my family, but now that we’re broken up, it would be more than awkward to talk to them.

I made sure the door was locked. I turned off the lights and snuggled in my bed, burying my head under the covers to escape the reality of my life, at least for tonight.