His office, my rules

ELI

“Let’s break up.”

I stared at him like I didn’t hear right. The café was loud. There were students behind me laughing, someone playing music too loud through their AirPods, the clink of cutlery and cups, but all I heard were those three words. I blinked once. Twice. My fingers tightened around the paper cup in front of me.

“What?” I said. My voice barely came out.

Liam didn’t even look up. He kept stirring his drink slowly like it didn’t matter. Like I wasn’t falling apart right in front of him.

“I’m done, Eli,” he said. “It’s not working anymore. We’re just… not right for each other.”

My chest started hurting. I sat up straighter, feeling that panic crawl up my throat. “Liam, please. Can we just talk? Whatever it is, I can fix it.”

He sighed, finally looking at me. His face was calm. Too calm. “You can’t fix this, Eli. You’ve been… heavy. For a while now.”

“Heavy?” I repeated, not understanding.

“Yeah. Everything with your past, your mom, the scars.” he shrugged. “It’s just too much. I don’t want to deal with all of that anymore.”

I swallowed hard. It felt like my tongue had turned to stone. “You knew what I’d been through when we started dating,” I whispered. “You said you didn’t care.”

“Well, I do now.”

It felt like he punched me in the stomach. I leaned back slowly, not even knowing what to say. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding too fast. “Is there someone else?” I asked quietly.

Liam didn’t answer at first. Then he smiled — small, guilty, careless. “Sort of.”

The words knocked the breath out of me. I opened my mouth, but before I could even speak, a girl walked up to our table. She had curly hair, a tight black skirt, and red lipstick. She smiled at Liam, leaned down, and kissed him.

On the mouth.

Right in front of me.

I froze.

Liam stood up like it was nothing. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, gave me one last look, and said, “It’s better this way. Don’t make it worse by begging.”

And then he walked away with her.

Just like that.

I sat there, staring at the spot where he used to be. My ears were ringing. My vision blurred. My throat closed up. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t believe what just happened. The café kept going like nothing had happened, like my entire world didn’t just crash and burn in public.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Maybe five minutes. Maybe thirty. Eventually I stood up, legs weak, and stumbled out of the café into the cold air. My chest was tight. I felt like I was choking. I didn’t cry. Not yet. I just kept walking. My body moved on its own. Everything felt far away. The trees. The sidewalk. The people passing me. None of it was real.

When I got back to my apartment, I locked the door behind me and leaned against it. My backpack slid off my shoulder and hit the floor with a soft thud. The silence inside the room was too loud. I didn’t turn on the light. I just walked straight to my bed and dropped down face-first.

That’s when the tears came.

I didn’t even feel them at first. They just slipped down my cheeks, soaking into the pillow. My chest started to heave. I tried to stay quiet. Tried to bite down on the sobs so no one would hear through the thin walls. But the pain didn’t care about being quiet.

My whole body shook. I turned on my side and curled up tight, hugging my knees to my chest like I used to do as a kid. Like I did after my dad’s fists. After my mom’s screams. After nights when my sister would rock me back and forth and promise we’d escape one day.

Liam knew all of that. He knew what I came from. He saw the scars. I let him see them. Even when it hurt. Even when I hated how ugly they made me feel. I trusted him. I let him touch me. I let him in.

And he left. Just like everyone else.

He kissed another person right in front of me and told me I was too much to love.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe I was too broken.

Too heavy.

Too hard to hold.

The room stayed dark, and the tears kept falling. I buried my face in the pillow and cried harder. I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. My chest hurt so much I thought it might split open. I kept whispering, “Why?” like it would change something.

But no one answered.

Eventually, my body gave up. The crying turned into little hiccups, then silence. My eyes were swollen. My pillow was soaked. My heart was numb.

I lay there in the same clothes I left the house in, the cold wrapping around my arms like a blanket I didn’t ask for. I stared at the wall for a long time. No thoughts. No plans. Just that empty ache that fills you when you’ve been left behind.

And that’s how I fell asleep.