Hearts on Ice

"I'm sorry, father!" His little voice cried "I'll do better...I'll be a better child!" Lukas screamed. It was the same nightmare. The same routine. His father beat him to a pulp, wishing he were dead instead of his mother. It was the exact dream until–

"Stop!" A small familiar voice screamed, "Don't hit him anymore!" And before Lukas could look at who was fighting for him. His eyes shut wide open.

"Are you done resting?" Viktor mumbled, poking his cheeks. Lukas didn't respond. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling. The night was too wrong... He didn't understand what was happening, he lay there asking himself if it was that easy for it to move on after all the trauma Viktor had put him through.

"Earth to Lukas" Viktor said, louder...waving his hand across Lukas' face "Anything the problem?"

Lukas turned to him slowly and spoke, his voice almost a whisper "What do you want?"

"For someone in my bed, under my sheets...you do have nerves" Viktor said, as he claimed into him again... looking down on him this time.

"For someone who begged and cried out my name..." Lukas sat up and grabbed him by the waist "... you're being very cocky"

"Tch. You can't tell anyone about this though." Viktor said as he trailed a finger down his back. "You wouldn't want people looking at us differently... would you?"

Lukas stood up slowly with Viktor still wrapped around him, his hair a mess and the wind from the rain exposed his tired eyes.

"You look so tired... do you not sleep?" Viktor picked a strand and toyed with his hair...

"This is the best I've slept in years." He replied. He wasn't lying. He did have a dream, the typical routine... but younger Viktor was there and it made no sense to Lukas.

Victor kept looking at him, wondering what he was so engrossed in and then he said it.

"We can't let anyone know this happened, it'll be best if we forget," Viktor said, voice stern. He was still in Lukas's arms when he was speaking, both in underwear as the cold air rushed in from the opened windows. The whole world seemed to pause after that sentence.

"I don't understand you Viktor." Lukas finally spoke "You want us to behave like none of this ever happened?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because–" Lukas cut him off before he could finish.

"It's fine" he said as he gently put him back on the bed. "Don't talk to me in school." He put on his jacket and walked out.

Viktor sat there in silence as his whole world crumbled. Lukas was supposed to ask why, he was supposed to care or be worried... but instead, he accepted and left like he meant nothing.

The door clicked shut and just like thathis life felt empty again. Viktor let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the spot Lukas had just been standing in. His chest felt tight in a way he didn't like.

"That's... what I wanted," he muttered to himself.

But it didn't feel like it, not even close.

He fell back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling, the faint sound of rain still tapping against the window. Everything from last night replayed in fragments-Lukas's voice, the way he looked at him, the way he held him like he actually... Viktor shut his eyes.

"...this is better," he said again, quieter this time.

But even he didn't sound convinced.

Morning came too quickly. Lukas was already dressed by the time he stepped onto campus, his expression back to what everyone knew... cold, composed, unreadable. It was like the night before had never happened, as he had already buried it.

Students greeted him as usual, whispers trailing behind him as he walked through the halls, but he didn't pay attention. His mind was clear, like he had made a decision and locked it in. No hesitation and no second thoughts.

Viktor, on the other hand, noticed him immediately and of course, he did. The moment Lukas stepped into view, something in him shifted, like his body reacted before his mind could catch up. For a second, he hesitated... then he walked forward anyway.

"Hey-"

His voice came out lighter than he expected.

"Hiii, Luka-"

Lukas didn't even slow down. He didn't even glance at him or react. He just walked past, like Viktor wasn't there...like he didn't exist. The words died in Viktor's throat.

He turned slightly, watching Lukas's back as he kept walking, steady and unbothered, disappearing into the crowd without a second thought.

"...wow," Viktor let out under his breath, a humorless smile tugging at his lips.

"So that's how it is."