Getting Back My Secret Luna

Allison's POV Blinding lights seared through my eyelids as I slowly blinked awake, the sharp tang of antiseptic clinging to every breath. Beneath me, stiff hospital sheets rustled as I shifted, and a jagged bolt of pain ripped through my abdomen. My throat was sandpaper. "Luna Allison?" A nurse with kind eyes approached my bedside. "You're awake." I tried to sit up, but a sharp stab of pain forced me back down. "What happened?" My voice came out raspy, thin. The nurse's expression shifted into that practiced, careful sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Luna," she murmured. "Some pack members found you collapsed in a storage room." She paused, as if choosing words that wouldn't break me. "After the exam, we confirmed you were severely malnourished-and you'd pushed your body far past its limit. Your pup. didn't survive. The hemorrhaging was severe, but we've stabilized you." For a second, I didn't understand the words. My mind tried to translate them into something else-something survivable. Then they landed. Hard. My heartbeat sprinted. Then it stuttered. Then it stopped-just long enough for the silence inside me to scream. My hand instinctively moved to my now-empty womb. The absence felt physical, like someone had scooped me hollow with a spoon and left the edges bleeding. *Ally, our pup. our little one.*Jasmine's mournful voice resonated within me, my wolf's grief mirroring my own. "I know," I whispered aloud. "I know, Jas." My lips barely moved. Even speaking felt like it might shatter me. With trembling fingers, I reached for my phone on the bedside table.My Alpha mate, Lucian needed to know about our lost pup. *He won't care, *Jasmine growled softly. *He never has. Fenrir doesn't feel our bond. We've known it from the start.* "We still have to try," I murmured, dialing his number. The screen blurred-either from tears or the way my vision kept refusing to focus on reality. One ring. Two rings. Three. Each ring was a hammer to my ribs. Each ring made my stomach clench, as if my body still didn't understand it had already lost. He picked up, but his voice was ice. "What is it, Allison?" "Lucian, I'm in the hospital," I managed, my voice breaking. "I-" He sighed. Not shocked. Not heartbroken. Just. annoyed. Like I'd interrupted something important. Like I'd spilled coffee on his schedule. "I'm in a meeting," he cut me off sharply. "Don't disturb me unless it's important." My fingers tightened around the phone until my knuckles ached. "But Lucian, our p-" "Handle it yourself." The line went dead. I stared at the phone, disbelieving. My pulse roared in my ears. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. Not because of the pain-because of the humiliation. Two years of marriage, and this-this was the mate I'd tried to love? He left us alone, Jasmine whimpered inside my mind. Even now. "He never wanted me," I murmured, setting the phone aside with shaking hands. "He never wanted her either." My voice cracked on the last word, like my throat couldn't hold the grief and the truth at the same time. My mind drifted back, to a time when I'd been so naive, so painfully optimistic. I had secretly adored Lucian Storm since my student days-the most popular Alpha heir in our academy, my silent hero. He probably didn't even remember my name from back then, but he saved me. After I'd been trapped in that dark, isolated storage room for twelve terrifying hours, it was his keen werewolf hearing that had caught my muffled cries. He found me, he rescued me, and I foolishly believed he noticed me. That fleeting fantasy, that desperate hope, was exactly why I said yes too fast-when Alpha Victor Storm offered me a place at Lucian's side as his Chosen Luna. Alpha Victor Storm, Lucian's grandfather, had been severely injured in a rogue attack, and I, purely by chance, had been the one to find him and staunch his bleeding long enough for the pack healers to arrive. His gratitude was powerful and absolute. And gratitude, in the hands of an Elder like Victor, didn't sound like "thank you." It sounded like an order. Lucian was to take me as his mate. But on our binding ceremony day, I learned the bitter truth-Lucian hadn't chosen me. He resented me. Not because I'd done something wrong. but because I existed in the space where his choice should've been. He believed I was the obstacle, an unwanted entanglement, standing between him and the woman he actually wanted. Our marriage happened only because his powerful grandfather demanded it as payment for my unintended heroism. Even the Moon Goddess's blessing couldn't sweeten it for him. The bond between our wolves, between Fenrir and Jasmine, was too fragile-or maybe too rejected-for his wolf to ever truly feel mine. He saw me not as a partner, but as an inconvenience, a perpetual source of trouble. A duty. A leash. He believed I was a weakness. The sterile scent of antiseptic clung to the air, but it did nothing to cleanse the ache gnawing inside me. It sat behind my ribs like a stone, heavy enough to make even breathing feel like effort. An hour later, I couldn't stand lying in bed any longer. The walls of the hospital room seemed to be closing in, suffocating me with each passing minute. Grief needed motion. If I stayed still, I was afraid I'd dissolve into it. Despite the nurse's warnings to stay in bed, I carefully swung my legs over the edge, grimacing at the pain that radiated through my abdomen. It wasn't sharp anymore-just a deep, bruising throb, like my body was mourning in its own language. "I just need to use the bathroom," I told her when she gave me a disapproving look. She hovered, concern knitting her brows. "Luna, please-take it slowly." "I am," I promised, though my voice didn't sound convincing even to me. My hands slid along the bed rail, steadying myself like an old woman. Moving slowly, I made my way to the door, grateful that my room was close to the nurses' station. The hallway was quiet, with only a few staff members moving about. The hospital smelled like disinfectant and sleep-deprived coffee. A soft squeak followed every step of my socks against the floor, an embarrassing little sound that made me feel fragile. The bathroom was just around the corner, and I was almost there when familiar voices drifted from the patient rooms across the hall. "Are you sure you're feeling better now? We can get a second opinion if you're not satisfied with what the doctor said." I froze, pressing myself against the wall near the corner. Lucian's deep voice was unmistakable. My pulse leapt. My scentless wolf trait had always been considered a weakness in the pack hierarchy-no one could sense our presence unless they saw us. But at this moment, it became my greatest advantage. Cautiously, I peered around the corner. There they stood, just outside the consultation rooms. Lucian's arm was wrapped protectively around Heidi's waist, her head resting against his shoulder. His face was filled with concern, with gentle care that shattered something inside me. It wasn't even the sight that hurt the most. It was the softness in him-reserved, apparently, for everyone but me. "I'm fine, really." Heidi's voice came sweet and breathy, like she was made to be comforted. "Thank you for coming with me, Lucian. I just got so worried when I felt those cramps." Heidi Lawrence. His college sweetheart. My throat tightened until swallowing felt impossible. My hands went cold. My fingertips tingled. "I told you I'd be here for you, didn't I?" Lucian's voice lowered, intimate. "Whenever you need me." Always be there for her. The words echoed cruelly in my mind. He couldn't even listen to me for five seconds when I called to tell him about our pup. and now he was here, holding her, promising her the world. I backed away quickly, hand clamped over my mouth to stifle the sob rising in my throat. I caught one more glimpse as I retreated-Heidi's fingers curling into Lucian's shirt, possessive and easy, like she'd never doubted she belonged there. And Lucian-Lucian let her. I somehow made it back to my room, collapsing onto the bed as my legs gave out. My hands shook as I wiped at my cheeks, but the tears kept coming. The dull ache in my abdomen flared with every breath, but it was nothing compared to the raw, splintering pain tearing through my soul. *This isn't right, Ally, *Jasmine urged. *We are not lesser wolves. We deserve a mate who values the bond. who values us.* I stared at the ceiling, watching the fluorescent light blur into a watery halo. Somewhere between one blink and the next, something inside me shifted. *Say it,* Jasmine whispered, voice low and lethal. *Name what he did.* Air scraped my throat. *He left us.* A pause. Jasmine's growl curled around my spine. *And he chose her.* My fingers closed over my belly-no longer gentle. Protective. Possessive. "No more," I said, and the two words felt like a lock clicking into place. Jasmine went still. *And if he comes back?* My heartbeat steadied. One. Two. Three. "Then he'll learn," I whispered, "I'm not the Luna he can abandon. I'm the mate he should've feared losing."