Distant Howl

The conversation continued, she still looked a bit pixelated on the screen, the resolution wasn't that good, but it was normal, the distance between them was great. He wanted to talk as much as she could while she was on the call, maybe her day would go better where she was. Maybe better than me.

“So what are you going to do for the rest of the day? It is just that...? My mind was mush, so I had to count the hours on my fingers. "Five?"

“Yes, dinner time. I guess on Saturdays, the businesses here close early, if at all. I'm pretty sure the bars are open until call time, which is like sunrise,” she joked.

I started laughing, which took away my headache, but then again, fuck it. "I wish I was there. We could have gone to the pubs. Wait, there are pubs there, aren't there? She knew that the town she was in was small and a good distance from any major part of Scotland.

"Some, which should be weird, because the town is so small, but they're more like mom-and-pop restaurants where people are going to get torn apart anyway."

“Any cute or handsome boy? It may be unexpected, but maybe you will fall in love there." Even I heard how capricious I sounded and promptly gagged my mouth, which made Daira snort in amusement.

"Hardly. The average age of the population here is about sixty. Though you probably think the B&B owner is cute. He's around our age. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a Michael Phelps-type body."

Well, it was a good way to cheer me up. Living vicariously through her and all that. "Don't you think so?" I felt my slow smile start to spread across my face. But the truth was, it was all for show. I was pretty sure there was something physically wrong with me, since my arousal switch had never been activated. Or at least I hadn't felt it.

Sure, I'd noticed plenty of attractive people, but I'd never felt any hint of desire, no need to go out, to let a man touch me, kiss me, or pleasure me in anything. And he had never mentioned that to Daira. It was this secret that I harbored, not because I was ashamed, but because I really thought there had to be something wrong with me. What twenty-three year old had never felt the slightest flicker of need and lust for a man? What woman my age had never even kissed a man?

So yeah, she was good at acting like she was interested and wanting more details, but it was all very mediocre to me.

“Maybe I should take a trip to Scotland and show my charm to the bed and breakfast guy. He'll fall for my witty sense of humor and stunning good looks"—I teased.

Daira snorted again, but then it turned into a laugh. "Yeah, it's nice and all, but…" she shifted a bit and looked at something out of the camera's field of view.

"That?"

She turned back to me and shrugged. "I don't know. It just comes off as a little weird."

I felt my eyebrows go down. "What do you mean 'weird'? Like what?"

"I don't know. I'm being stupid. He's very nice. He's not Scottish, but I'm not sure where he's from. I can't place his accent or match it to the people here." I noticed her a bit strange.

"I'd comment that he's a sexy foreigner, but if he's making your weird radar go off…"

"No, no. He's harmless. I'm pretty sure it's the different cultures, the language barrier, and the fact that he's in another country for the first time that things seem weird. I'm probably the only one that seems weird to him."

I felt the worry that had been clawing at my back begin to dissipate. She could imagine the culture shock Daira was facing right now.

"But I'm actually going to brave socializing and have dinner in one of those pubs."

I sighed with feigned jealousy. “Eat something exotic. like haggis. Is that considered exotic?

I frowned at the thought of Scottish cuisine. "I don't know, but try anyway and let me know." I laughed when Daira wrinkled her nose.

“I don't know if I'm brave enough to jump right into all this about the kind of variations on Scottish food right now. I was thinking, hoping, that I could get some fries and a cheeseburger first, yes, before trying the local food. "

“Okay, well, try it all for me. Remember, I am living vicariously through you. "

We stayed in the video chat for another five minutes, although I could have stayed there all day. When the call ended and I put my cell phone on the nightstand, I hid under the covers, closed my eyes and prayed to sleep.

Maybe in my dreams I could fly off on some amazing adventure and find out what the hell I was supposed to do with my life.

Enid

If anyone had looked at me as I walked to the tables at Foresta's, the bar where she worked as a waitress, they might have thought I was a fucking social butterfly. They would see a confident girl with a carefree attitude, maybe even assuming I liked the party, always with a smile on her face. I'm sure they'd think I'm a hardcore extrovert.

In truth, being around people exhausted me, not only mentally but also physically and emotionally. It was the worst, I hated it, I'd rather be isolated in my study and staring at the wall than having drinks with strangers. Daira understood that, because she was like me in that sense.

So being a waitress in a busy city bar was like getting skinned alive. She had been working at Foresta's for a long time and, before that, she was a waitress at another bar. Same old way in regards to my employment, especially when it came to getting manhandled and sexually harassed.

Putting on a fake smile for these drunk assholes who thought they had some sort of right to try to grope and slap me with their big meaty paws was like pulling your teeth without anesthesia.

And then there was Rikard, the owner of Foresta's. I wanted to kick him in the balls more times than I could count because of his sly look on me, his subtle manipulation, and his very clear sexual harassment that he tried to cover up as "playful banter" among his coworkers.