Blaming My Neutered Monkey for Her Baby

"Fine, I'll wait," I said. "And stay away from me. You smell awful."

Brenda's face flushed red with rage. "You arrogant bitch, how dare you insult me!"

She raised her hand to slap me, but I stepped out of her trajectory and used her momentum to give her wrist a firm shove.

Brenda lost her footing and stumbled backward before landing with a heavy thud straight into the pool of wet paint on the floor.

Ashley immediately let out a piercing shriek. "She's assaulting us! She's trying to kill us!"

Turning to the camera, she sobbed like she had been horribly wronged. "Look at this, everyone! Not only is Emily Parker denying what her son did, but now she's physically attacking my aunt! Keep flooding the chat, everyone! Thank you for the galaxy!"

One of the punks holding the phone started reading the comments aloud.

"One user says call the cops on the witch! And another user says to doxx her, post her address everywhere, and they'll personally ship a funeral wreath to her front door!"

Brenda was throwing a full-blown tantrum on the floor, kicking and screaming in the paint.

The group of thugs instantly crowded around me.

"Alright, lady, you forced our hand," they snarled.

They pulled collapsible batons from their pockets and snapped them open, the sharp metal clicks echoing through the hallway.

I looked at them calmly.

"What's the plan here? Breaking and entering? Aggravated assault?"

The leader spat right onto the floor.

"Cut the crap! Hand over the deed to this place right now, or we're smashing this entire apartment to pieces!"

Brenda scrambled up from the floor, jabbing a finger at my face.

"That's right! Get the deed! Ashley, grab the Quitclaim Deed and make her sign it!" she yelled.

Ashley frantically dug into her bag and whipped out the contract. "Ms. Parker, sign it, and we'll leave you alone."

I didn't even deign to glance at the document. "And if I say no?"

Brenda scoffed. "No? Then you can say goodbye to having peace for the rest of your life! Boys, tear this place apart!"

The thugs swung their batons, violently smashing them against my security door and exterior walls, sending violent crashes echoing throughout the entire hallway.

The neighbors were so frightened that they rushed back into their apartments and slammed their doors shut.

I stood there, watching everything unfold without stopping them.

They could keep smashing things for all I cared.

The harder they smashed, the higher the property damage appraisal would be, and the longer their prison sentences would be.

Ashley held out the contract, putting on a fake, sympathetic act. "Ms. Parker, why are you being so stubborn? It's just an apartment. Your son is incredibly wealthy. He can always make the money back down the road."

I stared at her belly. "Are you sure that kid belongs to my son?"

Ashley's eyes darted away for a second, but she instantly recovered, raising her voice to a defensive screech. "What are you talking about? Of course it's Mr. Parker's baby!"

"Don't you dare try to slander my niece and flip the script on us!" Brenda added.

I smiled. "Is that so? In that case, are you two ready to march right down to a registered notary and perform a DNA test with me right now?"

Brenda planted both hands on her hips. "Didn't you hear what I said? We already did an amniocentesis. Stop trying to deflect, and just sign the deed over to us."

I shook my head. "You really thought you had this all figured out, didn't you? You can't even legally prove who fathered that child, yet you're trying to extort me for money."

Ashley's face went pale with panic.

"Stop slandering me!"

She pulled a lab report from her bag and shoved it in my face. "This is the paternity results for Mr. Parker and the baby. It's right there in black and white! It states that the probability of paternity is 99.9%."

I took the report from her, and when I saw the name "Jason Parker" printed across the page, I couldn't help laughing.

Brenda was visibly creeped out by my reaction, her voice turning sharp as she demanded, "What are you laughing at?"

Ashley hurried to back her up.

"Ms. Parker, you can deny it all you want, but science doesn't lie. That report was issued by a top-tier hospital. It even has the official seal right at the bottom!"

I held up the piece of paper, letting it flutter.

"Issued by a top-tier hospital, you say? You've never even met my son, so what exactly did you use as samples for the test? Do you think I'm too stupid to realize you paid some black-market agency to issue a counterfeit report?"

For a split second, panic flashed across Brenda's face, but she quickly puffed out her chest, forcing a look of righteous indignation.