After I Died, My Daughter Dialed His Number

"I’ve seen so many photos of him in the cookie jar where Mom kept the divorce papers. Mom collected a lot of photos of him. There are at least ten of him holding a trophy on the podium. There are also wedding photos, one of him crouching down to tie Mom’s shoes, and even one where he's kissing her on the cheek."

I regretted it. I should have thrown them all away right after the divorce.

But at the time, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Emma looked at Russel with hopeful eyes. "Is he my dad?"

Russel, not wanting to lie to her, answered truthfully, "Yes."

Emma’s face lit up with a smile. "The kids at preschool used to make fun of me for not having a mom or dad. But now I have a dad! Ha ha."

Suddenly, her smile faltered, and her lips drooped. "Uncle Russel, does that mean Dad doesn’t want me or Mom anymore?"

Russel gently patted her head and assured her that her dad would not abandon her.

Seeing how much Emma craved a father’s love broke my heart.

I wanted to reach out, to hold her and tell her not to be sad, but my hand passed right through her.

In that moment, I forgot I had already been dead for four years.

……

The next day, during the kindergarten nap time, Emma went to the teacher and borrowed her phone. She snuck into the bathroom and dialed the number from the business card Xander had given her the day before.

"Hello?"

"I’m the little girl you gave your card to yesterday. I want to ask you something. Can I?"

Thankfully, Emma didn’t call him ‘Dad.’

But a wave of anxiety swept over me as I rushed forward to grab the phone from her.

Once again, my hand passed right through her.

After getting his permission, Emma cautiously asked, "Do you like my mom?"

It felt like a lightning bolt struck me.

Last night, Emma had gone through my belongings again and was fixated on the words I had written in my diary. "Xander, do you like me?"

She wasn’t trying to reconnect with her dad. She was asking for an answer on my behalf.

But please, don’t ask that.

It had been five years since the divorce and four years since I died.

The answer did not matter that much to me anymore.

On the other end of the line, all I heard was ridicule. "Did your mom put you up to this? Using her own daughter like a pawn? What an unfaithful woman! She’s already with your dad, yet still trying to rekindle things with me?"

Xander’s words spilled out like toothpaste squeezed from a tube. Emma probably did not understand half of what he said.

I felt a mix of bitterness and relief. Thankfully, her vocabulary was not that advanced yet.

Emma raised her voice a little, asking, "Are you insulting my mom?"

"Heh… A woman like her deserves it."

Unfaithful?

I had done nothing wrong! If anything, it was you and your ‘one true love’ who were never clear-cut.

Tears streamed down Emma’s face. I panicked and tried to wipe them away, but my hands went right through her again.

"Mom’s been dead for four years, and you’re still insulting her. You’re awful! Waaaah…"

That’s right. I had been dead for four years. I died the year after our divorce.

On the other end of the phone, disbelief lingered in his voice. "Dead? No way. Evil people live forever. Even if I died, she’d still be alive."

Emma was devastated and furious. "You’re awful! I’ll never talk to you again. And I’ll tell Mom’s spirit not to love you anymore. I’ll burn all the things she kept of yours. Waaaah…"

She sobbed so hard she could barely breathe.

I spun in helpless circles, my heart aching for her.

Then came a muffled voice from the other end of the phone.

"Is your mom really dead?"