When Love Turns the Knife

The Pregnancy That Was Never Mine

Winston insisted on making me eat a full meal for dinner that night.

He looked at me so lovingly as he held up a fork and tried to feed me himself. "How will your body ever recover if you don't eat well?"

I knew what he really meant.

I wouldn't be able to provide healthy organs for his darling Madeline if my health failed.

I couldn't help but stare at the handsome face before me. I scrutinized the mild look on his face and soon felt a wave of nausea surge up once more.

I rushed into the bathroom, locked the door, and ignored his worried questions as I threw up everything I had just eaten.

The phone in my pocket vibrated.

'Have you really made up your mind to leave this place?'

I gripped the phone. Winston's cold, heartless words from earlier echoed in my mind.

'Yes. The sooner, the better.'

…

Not long after, Winston had the maid unlock the door. He frowned at me. "Did you throw up again? Stop taking the tonic the doctor prescribed. Switch to the new one."

He had been lying to me since day one. What he gave me were hormone drugs. Yet, he told me they were supplements.

There was a time when I desperately wanted to bear him a child. At the time, I didn't care how bitter the medicine was. I endured it all, swallowing it with a hopeful smile on my face.

Now that I thought about it, I had been unbelievably foolish.

I raised my head to look at him dully. "Am I dying? Tell me the truth. How much longer do I have?"

A flicker of panic crossed his usually steady face. He suddenly pulled me into his arms and spoke in a tense voice. "Don't say that. You still have a long, long life ahead of you—with me."

His sweet words had always been so convincing.

After all, he would tell me over and over that he couldn't bear to see me suffer whenever I brought up having kids with him over the past two years.

In truth, he had long known that I was barren. Yet, he still watched me endure endless IVF treatments without making a peep.

He kept watching me like I was some court jester as I swallowed all kinds of bitter, foul-tasting pills. He did all that fully aware that I was dreaming of a happy future where we had a baby of our own.

Then again, I suppose it was for the best.

Since we didn't have a child, there was nothing left between us. I could leave him without hesitation.

…

That night, Winston's embrace felt desperate somehow. It was as if he were afraid to let go. He even warned me to never speak of death again.

I endured it numbly, waiting for it to be over. Once he'd fallen asleep, I picked up the phone he had left on the nightstand and went into the bathroom.

His lock-screen password was my birthday. Because of that, I had never once checked his phone. Only now did I realize he had taken full advantage of that trust.

When I opened WhatsApp, I discovered his nickname for my sister was "Maddie."

Maddie—the very name he whispered in moments of passion, his breath warm against my ear in bed.

I finally understood that he had never been calling my name at all. I was only a stand-in for Madeline, a way for him to ease his own guilt.

How ridiculous.

I opened their chat history with shaky hands.

Only then did I discover that while I was suffering daily nausea from the side effects of hormone drugs, he had established the Maddie Charity Foundation for Madeline, hoping that good deeds would earn her lifelong health.

He was doing all this to secure her future, but what about the wrongs they'd done to me?

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I bit down hard on my lip and screenshot their conversations one by one. My heart felt numb from the pain with each snap.

I immediately went to a hospital for a full medical examination.

The doctor stared at my report, his brows knitted tightly. "How many surgeries have you had? You're missing a kidney and a uterus. There's also damage to your liver."

I gave a bitter smile. "Too many. I can't even remember. How long do I have left?"

The doctor refused to give a definite answer. He sighed and advised me to stay calm and not dwell on it too much.

I went straight to Winston's company after my appointment at the hospital. I wanted to ask him for a divorce.

The receptionist stopped me. I said I was Winston's wife.

She looked at me with open disdain. "There are plenty of women who want to be Mrs. Holt. Why don't you look in a mirror? How dare you impersonate her? The real Mrs. Holt is upstairs right now."

My chest tightened. I could only call Winston on the spot, but no one answered.

The mockery on the receptionist's face deepened.

I stayed quietly downstairs, waiting long into the evening. Eventually, I saw Winston step out of the elevator with Madeline cradled in his arms.

His face stiffened the moment our eyes met. "Why are you here? Um, Madeline twisted her ankle. She's pregnant, so it's hard for her to move around. I was just helping her."

Madeline leaned against him, a gentle smile on her face. "Madison, Sebastian's out of town on a business trip. I'm borrowing your husband to take care of me for a while, alright?"

All I could hear was one word.

Pregnant.

Madeline was pregnant with my uterus.

It felt as if something sharp rolled violently through my chest, leaving me unable to breathe. "Winston, I need to talk to you."

"Whatever it is, we'll talk later," Winston replied impatiently. "Madeline's hungry. We're going back to your mother's place for dinner."