Weirdly Wholesome Pick-Me

I nodded, looking up at Lonnie with open admiration.

"In that case, Lonnie, I'm putting my whole life in your hands. You have to protect me, okay?"

Lonnie looked a little thrown by my over-the-top tone. He froze for a moment, then finally nodded.

[Wow, Lonnie's honestly incredible. He's so gentle and reliable!]

[Get away from my Lonnie, you pick-me! He's mine!]

"Lonnie, you're not the team leader," Verda snapped. "Don't promise anything for us. I'm not sharing a single clue with this pick-me. Anyone who comes in straight from dating sims is basically volunteering to die."

She shot me a cold glare, then walked away without waiting for a reply.

Lonnie tried to say something, but I grabbed the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's okay. I don't want you and Verda fighting over me. Let's give her some time. Verda's a reasonable person. She'll come around and accept me, right?"

-

The next morning at 8 a.m., I clocked in on time.

There was no sunlight in this horror dungeon at all. Everything outside looked washed-out and gray, like the whole world was covered in doom-colored fog.

I needed to wash up and fix my makeup, so I ended up being a minute late.

Everyone else had already picked their roles.

All that was left was the secretary position in the general manager's office.

[Oh, no. She's done for.]

[This is actually insane. The GM is a chainsaw psycho with multiple personalities. One wrong move, and you'll get shredded. That pick-me girl is finished!]

Verda walked up beside me and leaned in close.

"The last person who opened that door got sawed in half immediately."

They died just for opening a door?

Through the crack, I thought I heard a chainsaw dragging across the floor.

The door creaked open slightly.

A severed head rolled into the gap, wedging itself in the doorway. Behind it stood a bald, middle-aged man, covered head to toe in blood.

The chainsaw dragging behind him still had chunks of something clinging to it. It looked suspiciously like a peeled scalp.

[Damn, this pick-me just walked straight into a murder scene.]

[Wow, talk about company perks. The GM is really "hands-on" with his staff.]

I put on my best professional smile, knelt, and pulled a pack of wet wipes from my bag to clean his hands.

"Oh, sir, working this hard first thing in the morning? Look at your hands. They're all covered in blood!

"That awful guy must've given you a tough time. Bet his bones were thick. Swinging that chainsaw must've taken forever. Are your hands sore?

"Sigh! Everyone else only cares if your chainsaw is sharp. I'm the only one who cares if you're tired from swinging it all day."

The bald manager froze while I wiped every bit of blood off his hands.

He was used to people begging, crying, and screaming at him. This was the first time anyone had asked if his hands were sore.

It was the first time anyone cared.

He tilted his head, staring blankly as I cleaned the chainsaw. The whole room instantly felt less murderous.

I made the whole office sparkle, then scrubbed the rust off the chainsaw until it looked brand new. I even tied a pretty Tiffany-blue ribbon around it.

"Now this is a chainsaw worthy of someone of your status!"

When I walked out of the GM's office unharmed on my very first day, the chat went wild.

[I don't get it. Why didn't he just slice her up?]

[Think about it. Would you harm someone who pampers you, cares about you, and tells you how great you are?]