Until I Disappear

After resting for a few days, I contacted a recycler I knew to sell all of my clothes, handbags, and jewelry.

“Mrs. Stone, Mr. Stone really loves you. The new clothing lines of the season just arrived yesterday, and you’re already clearing them out of your closet?”

As I listened to her, I smiled.

I casually swiped to Monette’s Instagram and saw her newest post.

She had just posted it this morning. It showed the newest handbag of the season.

After I sent the recycler out, I asked Susan Yegler, my best friend, to check out a place.

I brought her to the suburbs and parked the car in front of a graveyard.

Susan stared at me in surprise.

I did not explain and just dragged her in.

The graveyard was on a mountain, and it even had a river. It was the first pick for many rich families as their final resting place.

The staff gave us an enthusiastic introduction to the place. After looking around, I picked a spot I liked and paid the deposit.

My parents passed away a few years ago, and I had no siblings.

Since no one was going to visit me after I died, I wanted to pick a good place for myself.

Over the years, Zach had earned a lot of money.

However, I pitied him since he had to work so hard. Hence, I never had the heart to spend the money he gave me. I always helped him save up.

As the end of my life drew nearer, I finally came around. At last, I was willing to spend his money, though it was in such a manner.

Seriously, pitying a man would just bring misfortune to one’s life.

The staff then asked me for the name of the grave owner.

“It’s for me.”

After that, I wrote my name on the form.

As everyone stared at me in shock and pity, I dragged Susan out of the graveyard.

The moment we got into the car, she started demanding answers. “What’s going on, Ninian?! Why are you picking a grave for yourself?!”

Susan was worried and scared.

She was terrified of losing me.

I could not help but think of Zach.

If he had been the one who came with me today, would he be scared too?

“Ninian!” Susan interrupted my thoughts.

“I have pancreatic cancer. The doctor says I have a month left.”

I looked outside and said it so calmly that it was as if I was talking about the weather.

I had thought about coming here alone, but I would be too pitiful if I had to face this terrifying time alone.

Besides, I needed Susan to help me take care of my funeral.

When I saw Susan tear up, I found myself feeling a little happy.

Look at that. I still had someone who cared about me.

However, my stomach twisted in pain immediately after. The dense, continuous waves of pain made me break out in cold sweat.

Susan wanted to bring me to the hospital, but I begged her to bring me back home instead.

Honestly, I was scared of being alone in the cold hospital.

I did not want to be trapped on a narrow bed either.

To prevent Susan from worrying, I tried my best to stay awake. But in the end, I still fainted from the pain.

In my daze, I heard Susan make a call. “Zach, you piece of trash! Come here right now!”

When Zach got home, Susan had already left.

I sat alone on the couch with a cup of warm water in my hands.

It had just been a few days, and I had already lost a lot of weight. My clothes, which once suited me, hung off my frame loosely.

Cancer was really torture.

“What are you trying to pull this time? Give it a rest already. Don’t you know that I’m busy?” Zach scowled.

I had nothing to say to that. The door swung open again, and Monette came in this time with a bag of fruit.

Before I could ask any questions, she said, “Mrs. Stone, I asked to come here. I heard that you fainted while I was out shopping with Mr. Stone. That’s why I decided to check on you too.”

So, he was actually just busy shopping with his mistress.

I scoffed.

“What’s with that attitude?!” Zach scowled further. “Ninian, when did you start becoming so rude and low-class?!”

“And your ‘class’ teaches you to cheat on your wife?” I glared at him coldly.

Zach fell silent.

“Don’t be mad, Mrs. Stone. It’s my fault. Don’t blame Mr. Stone,” Monette said in a choked-up voice, but I could see that smug look on her face. “If you don’t like me, I can just leave.”

In the next second, Zach roared, “I’m leaving with you! With that unreasonable woman around, this isn’t my home anymore!”

As I watched how exasperated he was, I remembered the first day we moved to this place.

He held my hand as we visited every part of the house.

At that time, we sat next to each other on the couch, and he said that home was wherever I was.

However, he said that I was no longer worthy of becoming his home.

I held my cup tightly and looked down as I tried my hardest not to cry.

Zach wanted to leave with Monette.

Suddenly, his phone rang. After a few seconds of hesitation, he went to the balcony.

Once she saw that Zach had walked far away, Monette relaxed as well.

She looked toward the vase on the table. “It’s lilies? I thought you liked daisies.”

I frowned. How did she know?

“Do you really think this is my first time here?” Monette chuckled and looked around. “I know your couch, kitchen, study, and even your bed more than you think I do.”

I felt a chill run down my spine, and I froze.

I had picked every single piece of furniture in the house carefully. But right then, they disgusted me so much that I wanted to puke.

“By the way, have you changed the chair in the study? It’s not very comfy—”

I could no longer bear listening to her and slapped her.

Monette’s face swelled up quickly.

She just chuckled, but in the next second, she started crying.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Stone. I won’t do it again.”

Immediately after, someone shoved me away. “Ninian, have you lost your mind?!”