Unlovable Beyond Smoke

Alicia woke up to a cold that seemed to reach her bones.

She opened her eyes slowly. The pale hospital ceiling came into view. A doctor stood beside her bed.

“Mrs. Vitale, you’re awake.” The doctor’s voice was heavy with regret. “We’re very sorry about your pregnancy. We couldn’t save the baby.”

When she heard him, she did not react with the hysteria she had expected.

Perhaps she had already known the outcome the moment she fell.

She was quiet for a long time. Then, she said, “Please, preserve the baby separately. I want to take it with me when I leave the hospital.”

Since she never got the chance to tell Matteo herself, at least he would see with his own eyes the child he had made her lose.

This might be the cruelest and most dreadful surprise she could give him.

The doctor looked momentarily shocked, but he nodded and agreed.

After the room fell quiet again, she placed her hand on her empty belly. She felt as if even the last warmth had left her.

Footsteps came from outside. Matteo pushed the door open. He looked ragged and more exhausted than he had the last time he was in the hospital.

He saw her pale, sickly face. He paused for a moment before stepping closer. “The doctor said you woke up. I…”

The words stuck in his throat.

Alicia looked at him. Her gaze was calm and still, like a motionless pool.

That look made Matteo feel panicky for the first time. He lowered his voice and said, “When the walkway collapsed, the weight was uneven on both sides. Sophia was half-suspended. That’s why I had her rescued first. I didn’t leave you behind on purpose.”

“Not on purpose…” Alicia repeated softly.

She did not get angry. She did not cry. She asked quietly, “Matteo, do you remember the gunfight at the Booklyn warehouse?”

His voice caught in her throat. He did not say anything.

Memories came rushing back. He could almost see the fire lighting up the night sky. Bullets flew everywhere. He ran against the fleeing crowd and charged back into the burning warehouse to find her.

He found her trapped in thick smoke, coughing and struggling. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward safety.

He was only twenty-five then. His face still had the sharp edges of youth. His eyes burned with reckless intensity. He held her hand tightly. Among the crackling flames and roaring gunfire, he said sincerely, “I won’t let you face any danger. Even if the chance is one in a million, I’ll make sure you’re completely safe.”

Those words had burned into her heart like a brand.

They made her believe that this was the man she could entrust her life to.

But now? In a life-and-death situation, he could abandon her for Sophia's sake without hesitation.

The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the monitors.

Matteo’s face turned pale. He reached out to touch her, but she turned her head away.

He rarely looked this helpless. Not even during the family conflicts years ago had he felt so lost.

“Alicia, I’ll make it up to you.” His voice was hoarse. “Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

Alicia finally smiled, but the smile was cold and empty of warmth. “I want you to choose to save me without hesitation, like you used to. Can you do that?”

Her words hit Matteo like a blunt knife in the chest.

He froze in place and could not speak for a long moment.

Alicia did not look at him. She stared out the window at the gray sky. “Leave. The last person I want to see right now is you.”