They Both Wanted Me

The photograph trembled in my hands. My grandmother. The oldest living vampire in existence. The woman who'd sent wolves to kill me before I even knew I was worth killing. "I don't understand," I whispered. "If she's my grandmother, if she's family-why does she want me dead?" Kael's expression was agonized. "Because you're not just her granddaughter. You're also the daughter of the woman who betrayed her. Your mother-Elena-she was Seraphine's only child. A pureblood vampire princess. And she fell in love with a werewolf." My mind reeled. "A werewolf? But I thought-the Moon Priestess-" "Was my mother." Kael's voice cracked. "Your mother, Elena, was a vampire princess. My mother, Selene, was the Moon Priestess of the Northern Pack. They were best friends. Sisters in all but blood. And they both fell in love with the same man." "The same-" I stopped. Looked at the photograph again. At the two men flanking my mother. "No. No, that's not-" "Your father was a human." Kael said it gently, like he was delivering a death blow. "A mortal. Completely ordinary. And both Elena and Selene loved him. Elena married him. Selene loved him from afar. And when you were born-half vampire, quarter wolf, quarter human-you became the most valuable and dangerous creature in existence." I sank onto the steps. My legs wouldn't hold me anymore. "Seraphine wanted you killed at birth. A hybrid of your power-she saw you as a threat. A rival. But Elena hid you. Gave you to humans, erased your trail, died protecting your secret." Kael knelt beside me. "My mother helped her. That's why Seraphine killed her too. Thirty years ago, on the same night, she murdered both of them. And she's been searching for you ever since." The pendant burned against my chest. The woman in my visions-Kael's mother-she hadn't just been a priestess. She'd been my mother's best friend. My protector. My second mother, in a life I never got to live. "She visited me," I said hoarsely. "In dreams. She told me not to let anyone own me. She told me to find my own path." Kael's breath caught. "You saw her? Spoke with her?" "Twice. She's... she's beautiful. And sad. And she warned me about you. About Caspian. About choosing." Something broke in Kael's expression. Hope, maybe. Or grief. Or both. "She's watching over you," he whispered. "Even now. Even from the other side." We sat in silence for a long moment. The city hummed around us, oblivious to the bombshells dropping on my front steps. "Caspian," I said finally. "Where does he fit in?" Kael's jaw tightened. "Caspian was your mother's guardian. Assigned by Seraphine herself to watch over Elena, to report her movements, to ensure she never strayed from vampire law. Instead, he fell in love with her. Protected her. Helped her hide you. And when Seraphine found out-" He stopped. "When she found out, what?" "He spent fifty years in a silver coffin at the bottom of the ocean. Seraphine's favorite punishment for traitors. He only escaped ten years ago, when the silver finally weakened enough for him to break free." I thought of Caspian's eyes. That ancient exhaustion. That loneliness. He hadn't just lost my mother-he'd been tortured for loving her. For protecting me before I was born. "He never told me," I said. "Would you have believed him if he had?" No. Probably not. A week ago, I didn't believe in vampires at all. "He loves you, you know." Kael's voice was quiet. "Not like he loved your mother-that was different. That was duty turning into devotion. But you-" He looked at me, and there was no jealousy in his eyes. Just truth. "You've woken something in him that's been dead for centuries. I can see it. I can smell it. He'd die for you. He'd kill for you. He'd burn the world." "And you?" I asked. "What would you do?" Kael smiled, and it was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. "I'd build you a new one." I didn't sleep that night. Instead, I sat at my kitchen table with Elinor in my lap and stared at the photograph Kael had given me. My mother. Elena. She had my eyes, my smile, my awkward way of holding her hands. She looked happy in the photo-genuinely happy, despite the two supernatural men flanking her and the ancient vampire grandmother who wanted her dead. She'd had me anyway. She'd loved me anyway. She'd died for me anyway. I never knew you, I thought. I never got to thank you. The pendant warmed against my chest, and for a moment-just a moment-I felt her. A presence. A warmth. A love so fierce and endless it stole my breath. You're welcome, little one. Tears streamed down my face. I didn't try to stop them. At 3 AM, my phone buzzed. Caspian: Kael told you. Not a question. Me: Yes. Caspian: I was going to tell you. Soon. When the time was right. Me: When would that have been? A long pause. Then: Caspian: Never. I was never going to tell you. I was going to protect you, love you, keep you safe-and let you believe I was just a vampire who happened to save you in an alley. Cowardice. Pure cowardice. I'm sorry. I stared at the message. This ancient, powerful creature-apologizing. Admitting fear. Laying himself bare in text messages at 3 AM. Me: I'm not angry. Caspian: You should be. Me: Probably. But I'm not. I'm tired. And confused. And I just found out my grandmother is the most dangerous vampire in existence and wants me dead. So honestly? Your secrets are kind of low on my list right now. Another pause. Then: Caspian: You have your mother's humor. Me: Was she funny? Caspian: She was everything. Funny. Brave. Reckless. Stubborn. She talked back to Seraphine, which no one did. She loved a human, which no one had done. She looked at a werewolf priestess and saw a sister, not an enemy. She looked at me-a monster assigned to watch her-and saw someone worth saving. Tears again. I wiped them angrily. Me: She sounds amazing. Caspian: She was. And you're exactly like her. Which terrifies me more than anything. Me: Why? Caspian: Because Seraphine killed her for being exactly that. And I couldn't stop it. I couldn't protect her. I couldn't do anything except watch and burn and spend fifty years at the bottom of the ocean dreaming of revenge. The pain in his words was physical. I felt it through the bond-a raw, bleeding wound that had never healed. Me: You're not that person anymore. Caspian: I'm exactly that person. I just have more rage now. And more to lose. Me: You're not going to lose me. Caspian: You can't promise that. Me: Watch me. I sent the message before I could think better of it. Before I could consider the implications. Before I could wonder what it meant that I was making promises to a vampire at 3 AM. His response came immediately: Caspian: Lena. Me: What? Caspian: Nothing. Just... your name. I like saying it. I smiled despite everything. Despite the dead mother and the murderous grandmother and the two supernatural men fighting for my heart. Me: You're weird. Caspian: Three hundred years alone will do that. Me: You're not alone anymore. Another pause. Longer this time. When he finally responded, his words were careful. Measured. Like he was handling something infinitely precious. Caspian: I know. That's what scares me. Morning came too fast. I dragged myself to work on three hours of sleep, fueled by coffee and determination and the lingering warmth of Caspian's texts. Margaret gave me a knowing look but didn't comment on the dark circles under my eyes. The library was quiet. Normal. Safe. At noon, my break started, and I found Kael waiting in the periodicals section. "You look terrible," he said. "Thanks. You really know how to make a girl feel special." He almost smiled. "Can we talk? Somewhere private?" I led him to the staff break room, which was empty except for a half-dead plant and a fridge that smelled suspicious. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching me with those warm brown eyes. "I've been thinking," he said. "About Seraphine. About what she wants. About how to stop her." "And?" "And I think we need Caspian." The words hung in the air. From anyone else, they'd be obvious. But from Kael-an alpha wolf suggesting alliance with an ancient vampire-they were seismic. "You hate him," I said. "I do. He's cold, manipulative, and he looks at you like you're the last drop of water in a desert. Which, by the way, is exactly how I look at you, so maybe I don't have room to judge." He ran a hand through his hair. "But he's also the only one who knows Seraphine. Really knows her. He served her for two centuries before he betrayed her for your mother. He knows her weaknesses, her patterns, her fears. We need that." "You're suggesting we work together. You and Caspian. To protect me." Kael's jaw tightened. "I'm suggesting we work together to keep you alive. After that, we can go back to hating each other." I studied him-this proud, powerful alpha who'd rather swallow glass than ask a vampire for help. He was doing it for me. All of it, for me. "Kael-" "Don't." He held up a hand. "Don't thank me. Don't look at me like that. I'm not doing this to be noble. I'm doing it because the thought of you dying-" He stopped. Swallowed. "I can't. I literally cannot survive that. So if working with him is what it takes, I'll work with him. I'll do anything." I crossed the room and hugged him. He went rigid. Absolutely rigid, like he'd forgotten what physical affection felt like. Then his arms came around me-carefully, gently, like I was made of glass-and he held me against his chest. "You're warm," I murmured against his shirt. "Wolves run hot. It's a thing." "I like it." His arms tightened fractionally. "Lena. If you keep being this... this you... I'm going to fall even harder. And I'm already so far gone I can't see the surface." I pulled back just enough to look at him. His eyes were gold again-burning gold, full of want and fear and desperate hope. "I don't know what I'm doing," I admitted. "I don't know who I'll choose, or if I'll choose anyone at all. But I know you're good, Kael. I know you'd die for me. And I know that means something." "It means everything." His voice was rough. "You mean everything." For a moment-just a moment-I thought he might kiss me. His head dipped, his eyes dropped to my lips, his breath ghosted warm across my face. Then the door banged open. Margaret stood there, eyes wide, holding a stack of books that immediately fell everywhere. "Oh my GOD," she exclaimed. "Again? Lena, this is the second time I've walked in on you with a gorgeous man! What is happening to you?" Kael stepped back quickly, and I felt the loss of his warmth like a physical thing. He looked almost embarrassed-this massive alpha wolf, embarrassed by a middle-aged librarian. "I should go," he said. "We'll talk more later. About... the thing. With the other person." "Smooth," I muttered. He shot me a look that was half-amusement, half-agony, and then he was gone, leaving me alone with Margaret and twenty-seven scattered books. "Lena." Margaret's voice was stern. "Explain. Now." "There's nothing to explain." "The first one looked like he'd kill for you. This one looks like he'd die for you. And you're standing here looking like you don't know which one you want. That's not nothing. That's the plot of every romance novel I've ever read." I stared at her. "You read romance novels?" "Lena. Sweetie. I'm fifty-three, divorced twice, and I have three cats. Of course I read romance novels. They're the only place where men actually say what they feel." She knelt to pick up books, and I knelt to help. "So which one is it? The dark and dangerous one, or the warm and protective one?" "Both?" Margaret snorted. "Honey, you can't have both." "Watch me." The words came out before I could stop them. And as soon as they did, I realized-I meant them. I wasn't going to choose. I wasn't going to let anyone own me. I was going to find my own path, like the Moon Priestess said. Even if that path led straight through the hearts of two supernatural men who'd do anything to keep me. Margaret looked at me sideways. "You're serious." "I don't know what I am anymore." I stacked the last book. "But I'm done letting other people decide for me. If I want both, I'll fight for both. If I want neither, I'll walk away. It's my choice. My life. My heart." "Damn." Margaret sat back on her heels. "That's the most badass thing I've ever heard you say." "Blame the vampire. And the werewolf. And the dead mother I never knew. And the homicidal grandmother who's apparently the oldest vampire in existence." Margaret blinked. "Okay, that sounds like a lot more than a love triangle." "You have no idea." That night, I stood on my fire escape and looked at the stars. The city buzzed below me-cars, people, life. But up here, it was quiet. Just me and the moon and the pendant warm against my chest. I felt them both. Kael, somewhere to the north, his presence a warm glow at the edge of my awareness. Caspian, closer, lurking in shadows, his cold fire a constant pulse through the bond. They were both waiting. Both hoping. Both terrified. And I was done being terrified. I pulled out my phone and created a group chat. Me: Tomorrow night. Midnight. My apartment. We're going to talk. All three of us. No fighting, no posturing, no alpha/vampire bullshit. Just the truth. Be there or be square. Kael: ...square? Caspian: I believe she means we either attend or we are, colloquially, squares. Kael: I know what it means. I just didn't expect her to say it. Me: Midnight. Don't be late. Caspian: I'm never late. Kael: I'll be there. I put down the phone and looked at the moon. Somewhere out there, my mother was watching. The Moon Priestess was watching. And my grandmother-the monster who'd killed them both-was waiting for her chance to finish the job. But I wasn't the hidden baby anymore. I wasn't the ordinary librarian. I was Lena. Daughter of Elena. Heir to a power that had terrified vampires for millennia. And tomorrow night, the two men who loved me were going to sit down and figure out how to keep me alive. Or die trying. Either way, it was going to be interesting.