The Sweet Obsession

I lay there for I'm not sure how long, just until the pain stopped. I didn't think it ever would but it did. I had no energy to move so I remained still, the goosebumps rising from the cold air hitting against my bare skin. "I'll be back Embry, you and me forever, remember?" My thoughts were a dangerous thing but then again they were the things that kept me sane throughout the past year. I had no one, my parents were amazing and I'm so grateful for them but I could never talk to them about anything. It was just the dynamics of our relationship and it never affected me until now because I had Noah. He could always tell when something was wrong and we always had this connection that I knew was special, I suppose that's why I've allowed this to affect me so much. But, I've allowed him to get to me, his last words before he was taken away keep spinning around my mind, the echoes of his unfulfilled promises to get back to me now becoming the bone chilling reality I was so scared to come to terms with. "Embry, sweetie, can I come in?" my mom's gentle tone wafted through the door, "yeah one minute mom". Grabbing the blanket I covered my body, wrapping myself securely in its protection just before she came in. "Hi, I know you probably aren't in the mood to eat but I thought to let you know that the food is ready, if not it's fine, but you could take a bath that would be nice right?" Sighing, I approached her and threw my arms around her frame, I knew she needed the comfort I had always seeked. "Yeah, I think I might just have a bath and then go to sleep, I'll make sure to come to you if I have any problems, I'm fine, I promise" I smiled, lying so sweetly through my teeth. Although lying had never been my strong suit I had perfected the art of showing my parents what they wanted to see. "That's great Embry, I'll be downstairs if you need anything", nodding I shut the door after her. Slinging my dirty clothes from the floor into the hamper I slumped against the bathroom door as I listened to the water run. Shutting my eyes I let the noise consume my mind, no thoughts, they cost too much emotional payment. Satisfied with the temperature I slid into the bath letting my worries and fears soak with me and melt away with the heat. Pruney and clean, I dried myself off wrapping the towel firmly around me as I exited the bathroom. "I missed you little bug", my breath caught in my throat. I looked up to see him there on my bed. Blinking in disbelief I waited for him to disappear and for my imagination to be playing a trick on me. "N-noah?" I whimpered, a burning sensation running through my system at the thought of the situation. I stood frozen as he stalked towards me, "yeah baby, I'm back and I missed you so much" his eyes were darker than I remembered. Fighting to find words to say I couldn't find it in myself to do anything other than watch him move closer to me with my mouth agape. "Shh, take your time, I know you're shocked" he brings his hand towards me as I violently flinch back releasing whines. "You, you can't be here, you need to l-leave" and like that I was back to my stuttering. "They can't stop me from seeing you Embry, I won't let them" his gentle smile turned into a hard grimace as I realised my mistake. "I can't stay for long, and you can't tell anyone about me being here, you know that right," he warned as I picked up on his threatening tone. I gripped the towel inhumanely tight as my hands quivered, stepping back as he got impossibly close to me, "you aren't going to tell anyone Embry, unless you want me to hurt people, you don't want that do you, especially with you family being so very close right now" he smirked. Aggressively shaking my head, I screamed at myself to talk, or scream for help or even move. I needed to do something but it seemed like all my functioning had been shut off. "You know what I feel about you not verbally answering little bug" he brought his arm up beside my head, encasing me against the wall that blocked my getaway. "I-I won't tell any, anybody" I gulped, his posture frightening. He was relaxed and tense at the same time. I was trying anything I could to avoid looking into his eyes because they would remind me of too much, too many things I couldn't risk feeling right now. Distracting myself I noted his hair was longer, it still looked nice much to my dismay, he had always looked nice and it was terrible. Why couldn't bad people look as bad on the outside as they were on the inside. "Staring are we, princess?" he teased as my cheeks flared with colour, "n-no I, I wasn't, I-", "shh, I know, I'm just teasing Embry" he genuinely smiled. And for that moment I had forgotten our situation because his smile seemed so real. So Noah like, so comforting, I just wanted us to go back to the old us when everything wasn't so messy. But, it couldn't go back to that and it never would. "You smell so good" he leaned in closer and I stiffened, I recoiled as he began to sniff my hair making me feel a whole other level of uncomfortable. "Gosh prison was terrible, but I'm out now and everything is going to go as it should have" trailing light kisses down my bare shoulder, I felt like throwing up. The tears fell as he continued down my arm and to my hand, finishing on my finger tips and throughout all the discomfort, any of the words I wished to speak got caught in my throat, lodging themselves into the surrounding tissues. "What's wrong little bug, why are you crying?" His eyes held concern and it all seemed too human like for my brain to comprehend. "I don't, I'm not, I only, towel" I rushed out, none of it making sense as I choked back the bile crawling up my throat. "Of course, go get dressed, I'll be out here okay" he released his hold on me somehow understanding what I was failing at saying as I scurried away. Not brave enough to try to make it to the door, I silently obeyed him and got clothes from my drawers. I could feel his heavy stare with every little movement I made. Locking myself in my bathroom, I exhaled heavily, relief of being free from his grasp bursting throughout my cells. I tried to waste as much time getting dressed as I could as I tried to come up with a solution, but all of them ended up with someone getting hurt and I couldn't even stomach the thought of someone being harmed because of me, especially with my parents in such easy access to him. Realising I couldn't milk anymore time from this escape I had to just go out and face him and try not to be as helpless as I was before. "Ah there you are" his voice was enough to dissolve any confidence I had built up in the bathroom, turning me into a shaking anxious mess. I stared wide eyed as I saw him flipping through the scrapbook of our photos. It was stupid of me to keep it but I wasn't ready to let my whole childhood go like that. "Remind me to take this with us" he studied the photos mindlessly as I pushed myself as far into the wall facing him as I could. "Take this with us, where?" I skeptically voiced, a small part of me filled with triumph at my proper speech but the other part of me knowing it was only because I trailed the sentence out for a couple seconds longer than necessary. "To our home" he lifted his head to meet my eyes as I froze. "Our h-home" my voice quivered. "Well, we can't be together here, so I'm taking you away, obviously" he deadpanned as if it was the most obvious thing. "N-no, you can't, I won't" I was too stunned for words. My stomach felt heavy and I hated the feeling of anxiety but it kept increasing every time he opened his mouth. Slamming the book closed, he stormed towards me, catching me off guard as I prayed to disappear into the wall. Grabbing my jaw, he forced my face forward, facing him. "You don't get a choice on the matter, I'm already pissed about last year but I've decided not to blame you, so don't make me mad or it won't end well" he seethed. His voice dripped with venom as his hold on me got tighter, using his body to crush me painfully against the wall I let out distressed sobs. The selfish part of me wished my mom or dad would come and check on me but they knew that I liked my space and wouldn't dare disturb me until morning. "I'm sorry" I whimpered, feeling exposed under his glare. "You're mine, and you don't get to disrespect me, you understand that right?" he spit, pressing his forehead against mine as I tried to struggle out of his grip. "Y-yes, I, I understand, I-Im sorry" I pleaded for relief from this death grip he had me in. "Good girl" he beamed as his lips met my forehead. I let my weight sag against his form as he dropped the pressure he had on me. Even holding myself up seemed too draining at this point. "Now, come lie with me for a little before I have to leave" he sweetly smiled, leaving me defenseless against the wall I watched as he got himself comfy on my bed. "Embry" he warned as my body jumped into action, rushing over to his side I dropped my head in shame as he chuckled. "Awh, no I'm sorry little bug, I wasn't laughing at you" he reassured, as if I didn't already know it was because of how pathetic I was. "Okay" I whispered as I let my body go limp against his after he forced my form down against his on the bed. I was laying on his chest as his fingers ran through my hair, his other hand securely wrapped around my back, limiting any possibility of escape, as if I had enough courage to even try. Unwillingly my body relaxed against his as the soothing feel of a head massage draped over me. He knew it was a weakness of mine and used it against me, his content sigh was almost enough to have me swing at him but I was too tired, I was too ashamed of myself for being so weak. I never thought being a people pleaser would lead to such drastic events, even if he was psychotic there was something about the thought of someone being upset with me that didn't sit right. Against all sensible reasoning, I let myself be lulled to sleep. Occasionally feeling his lips graze against the top of my head as I drifted in and out of consciousness.