The Summer I Stopped Sacrificing Myself For The Others

My name is Allison Chapman. Ever since I found out I might be pregnant, my husband, Rocco Chapman, had developed couvade syndrome.

It was a condition in which a husband, overwhelmed by concern and anxiety over his wife's pregnancy, experienced morning sickness as she did.

My heart ached watching him vomit until he was dehydrated, but at the same time, I was thrilled by his sheer deep love for me.

Yet, when I went to the hospital for a prenatal checkup, the doctor told me I wasn't pregnant and said I was most likely having a miscarriage.

I was stunned, and I didn't know what on earth Rocco's couvade syndrome was about.

I soon knew why.

The moment I stepped out of the OB's office, I ran right into the woman who was next up for her appointment.

It was my best friend, Kathryn Hopkins.

And I saw the person by her side was Rocco, the same person who had told me this morning that something urgent had come up at work and he wouldn't be able to come with me to my prenatal checkup.

...

Our eyes met.

Rocco instinctively pulled his hand resting on Kathryn's lower back away, and he spoke first. "The work thing was taken care of. I was actually on my way to the hospital to find you, but I happened to run into Kathryn here for her checkup all by herself. So I figured I'd stay here with her until she finished her checkup, and I'd then come to you."

My gaze fell to Kathryn's flat stomach.

I knew she had been dating someone for quite a while.

But I had never met him.

Kathryn said his identity was sensitive, that he couldn't just show up in public.

I had considered the possibility that her boyfriend was a secret agent or a researcher on some classified government project.

I had even worried she was being catfished and pressed her again and again, terrified that she was getting hurt.

But I had never once considered that her boyfriend was my husband.

"You're pregnant? Since when?" I asked calmly.

Kathryn blushed, her ears turning pink. "Just about two months now. He took a long leave to keep me company. He always wants to do it, and you know that! That day we happened to run out of condoms, so..."

Two months ago, Rocco had told me his company was sending him on a long business trip, and then he had been gone for over half a month.

"Since you're pregnant, why haven't you married him yet?" I cut her off, my tone turning cold.

She froze, caught off guard, and said, "Didn't I already tell you? He's got a sensitive identity. It's not like we can just get married whenever we want."

I said with a sarcastic smile, "Why? Is it illegal for him to marry you?"

What I was really thinking when I said that was that it actually was illegal—Bigamy.

Kathryn was startled at my sarcastic tone, her eyes reddening instantly.

Rocco stepped forward almost on instinct, positioning himself between us and shielding her behind him. "Don't scare her. She's pregnant. She can't handle this kind of stress."

Hearing the unmistakable concern in his voice, I suddenly understood why his couvade syndrome had been so severe.

Maybe realizing his reaction had been a little much, he hurriedly gave an excuse, "I mean, you're both pregnant. Neither of you should let yourself get too emotional. It'll hurt the baby."

But his instinctive reaction had already said everything.

I had noticed that ever since Kathryn went into the exam room, Rocco had been rubbing his hands together nonstop.

We had been together for seven years, and I knew that was something he only did when he was nervous.

It wasn't until Kathryn came out after finishing her checkup and announced that everything was fine that Rocco visibly relaxed.

He turned to her and said, "Let me drive you home."

Only after he had said so did he seem to remember I was still standing there next to them.

"Allison, the No. 2 bus stops right outside the hospital and goes straight to our complex. Just take the bus home. Kathryn's place is right on the way to my office, so I'll drop her off and head straight to work."

He said it as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and he seemingly had completely forgotten about the fact that it was July, the peak of summer, with temperatures pushing close to 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

And the No. 2 bus only ran once an hour, and the last one stopped at the gate of the hospital had left just five minutes ago.

Kathryn glanced at me, then spoke with consideration and magnanimity. "It's fine. Just take Allison home. I'll get back on my own."

With that, she placed a hand over her lower belly and walked toward the hospital entrance alone.

Rocco stood rooted in place, instinctively letting his gaze follow her.

But he didn't dare go after her with me there.

I watched him stare after her with barely concealed longing. I tightened my grip on the report of the checkup results in my hand, the one that confirmed I was not pregnant, and said, "Go ahead and take her home."

But what I was really thinking was that from this day forward, he and I would part ways with each other.