The Snake Wants to Get In My Pants

I panicked and immediately called the vet. If anything happened to Basil, then my career would be over.

However, Basil was being an idiot and refused to come down from the tree.

"Did I scare you just now, Basil? I'm sorry, but…"

I suddenly chuckled and showed him my pearly white grin. "If you don't come down here right now, I'm going to kiss you everywhere until your scales shed!"

Then, I watched smugly as Basil immediately slithered down the tree.

I couldn't believe it. Was that even a threat? And to think that it had actually worked on a snake!

Before I could even rejoice, Basil suddenly slithered right up to me and pressed his face closely against mine.

What the hell? What was Basil trying to do? Was he thinking of striking me again?

I grabbed his head and chided him, "Now, be a good snake and let the vet have a good look at you! I really don't know what's going on in your head all the time. Plotting schemes, aren't you?"

The vet, Dr. Philip Morgan, gave Basil a thorough check-up and frowned in confusion.

"This snake's heartbeat is a little too fast and erratic."

I looked at Dr. Morgan anxiously. However, he merely returned my gaze and said slowly, "It's mating season."

No wonder Basil had been in such a terrible mood lately. It was his mating season, which explained his restlessness.

What a dummy!

I informed the manager, Fred Vulcan, about Basil's condition before introducing two snakes to Basil. When I let him out of his enclosure that night, however, Basil chased after me for miles.

I was so done with him. I just didn't know what that idiotic snake was thinking, always trying to attack me every single day without fail.

Finally, our chase concluded with him striking me in the private part again.

"Basil Lisk! You stupid, stupid python!"

I hated it.

I was his handler, and yet, I had to spend the majority of my workday worrying about him nonstop. Why did he keep targeting me and bullying me like this? What had I ever deprived him of?

Fred then told me later on that Basil had struck and chased away the two female snakes I'd introduced to him as his potential mates. I was stupefied.

No matter how much Basil hated me, he should still be more serious about selecting a mate for himself during that season.

I glared at Basil and began lecturing him seriously.

"Basil Lisk, those are your wives! You idiot, how could you strike your own wives and chase them away? Aren't you afraid of spending the rest of your life as a miserable loner?"

I'd just finished speaking when Basil suddenly slithered after me again.

What the heck did he want this time?

Basil eventually caught up to me and struck me in the private part again. I was so mad that I yelled at him in frustration.

"You bastard! I'm not going to care about you anymore!"

I then wiped away the tears from my eyes and ran all the way back to my dorm.

I was so, so done with Basil.

I'd been diligently waiting on Basil hand and foot since the beginning of time, and yet, his way of repaying me for my effort was by striking me in the private part every single time. He was such an ingrate!

As I continued thinking about Basil, I eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

There was no air-conditioning in my dorm, and the night was too warm to sleep comfortably. However, I suddenly discovered a source of coolness right next to me, so I leaned in even more.

It was so comfortably soothing that I couldn't stop my hands from wandering all over the cool source. My brain was still quite foggy, but I could clearly remember the scene from earlier today when Basil struck me.

"Bad snake… Why won't you like me?"

I had been caring for him for so long, but he just kept bullying me back in return. It would be a lie to say that I didn't feel hurt by the whole situation.

"But I don't hate you. I like you a lot. Will you lay eggs and have kids with me too?"