The Illusion I Loved Is Gone

Colleen leaned in close and caressed my cheek. "Thank goodness you're okay. Don't throw tantrums like that again, alright?"

But as I looked at the fresh hickey on her neck and listened to the scolding tone in her voice, I couldn't recognize her anymore.

What exactly had I done wrong? Did my mistake lie in not enduring an allergic suffocation while watching them make out?

"What am I to you?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

Colleen seemed not to have heard me clearly. "What?" Her gaze darted away nervously. "Are you thirsty?"

She turned away from me to get some water, her tall figure moving gracefully. Her legs had completely healed, but why did I find myself missing the days when she was in a wheelchair?

Before Colleen could hand me the water, the hospital room door burst open. Then, Ronald walked in with obvious excitement,

"Lucius, did you end up in the hospital because of that allergy? Let me see what alcohol poisoining looks like."

He stared at my face and laughed wildly. "Our famous heartthrob looks absolutely hilarious. Your face is so swollen that your eyes are just slits."

He pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures of me. "I'm going to post these on social media. I bet tons of people will like them."

I looked like this because of him, and now he was here to humiliate me further. In an instant, rage surged to the top of my head, and I grabbed the water cup from Colleen's hand and hurled it at Ronald.

The lid wasn't screwed on tight, so when the cup hit Ronald, water splashed all over his skin. He jumped up with a shriek. "Ouch! That burns!"

Colleen rushed over to him and pulled him into the bathroom, turning on the faucet.

I could hear Ronald complaining from the bathroom. "Lucius tried to disfigure me with boiling water. He's so vicious! Coco, I was just messing with him. How could he do this to me? Is he jealous that we're in love?"

"He's just an orphan my family raised. What right does he have to love me?" Colleen's voice was low, but the sound of running water still couldn't drown out her words.

Ten minutes later, Colleen stormed out angrily, dragging Ronald behind her. "Apologize."

Her face was dark, her voice ice-cold.

Yet, all I could think about was what she had just said.

What right did I have to love her? Suddenly, I felt utterly pathetic.

Ever since I lost my family, I had also lost the right to love her. So, what did all these years of unwavering companionship amount to?

I now understood. It was just the rent I owed her family for living in her house. My education, my ten years of love, and two years of devoted care were certainly a high price to pay for rent.

"Did you hear what I said?"

She raised her hand and accidentally swatted at my IV tube. Pain shot through the back of my hand as the IV needle was jostled.

"Apologize! Are you deaf?" She gripped my hand forcefully, exactly where the needle had shifted. It hurt so much that I sucked in a sharp breath.

"Stop pretending. Does it hurt more than being scalded with boiling water?" Ronald complained.

Colleen squeezed even harder, and I felt like the needle in my vein might puncture through my blood vessel. Pain made sweat break out on my forehead, but the ache in my heart was even worse than the physical pain.

I endured it and looked up at Colleen. Then, I asked through clenched teeth, "Did I help you stand again just so you could crush me like this?"

Her expression turned extremely ugly, and she released my hand. "I knew it! You only took care of me to make me feel indebted to you, to stand on some moral high ground and make me look up to you."

She glanced at me then, and there was no trace of the dependence she once had in her gaze, only contempt. "Just like you're doing now."

In that instant, I was in so much pain that I was laughing and crying at the same time. I could not believe Collen would think that I was that despicable.

Looking at her twisted face, I realized it wasn't that I was despicable. It was that my love was too pathetic.

Fine, then. I'd just stop loving her.

This farce ended when a nurse walked in and exclaimed, "What happened to the hand with the IV? Your veins are so hard to find! Didn't I tell you to take good care of the IV needle?"

Colleen's gaze also fell on my swollen, bruised hand.

"It's fine. Just put the IV in my other hand. I'm used to getting stuck with needles anyway."

It was just a casual comment, but it somehow enraged Colleen again.