The Fifth Candle

Ever since that day at the airport, my marriage with Julian, which had never been particularly close to begin with, seemed to have grown even more distant.

The Carter family had always maintained a tradition of going to church on New Year's.

Elaine had been sick for days. She was down with a fever, was dizzy, and experienced weakness that refused to go away.

One day, my devout mother-in-law suddenly turned her attention to me. "Perhaps someone brought something into this house that shouldn't have been brought back. We should invite a priest to perform a blessing ceremony."

Julian stood nearby with a calm expression, saying nothing.

I could not help laughing. "Julian, you're really just going to stand there and watch them blame everything on me?"

He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. "They're worried about Elaine. And it's only a blessing ceremony. It'll give everyone peace of mind."

However, it was not nearly as simple as he made it sound.

When I tried to refuse, nobody listened. My objections were effortlessly drowned out. They took me to a prayer room behind the church.

As the priest recited scripture, he repeatedly sprinkled holy water over my hair, face, and shoulders. Cold droplets slid down my skin. Someone held my shoulders down, preventing me from leaving.

They chanted prayers over and over, as though they had already decided I was the source of the family's bad luck.

Humiliation crashed over me like a tidal wave, leaving my nose stinging and my eyes burning. Even so, I refused to cry. I gritted my teeth and stayed silent, knowing that no one there felt sorry for me. If I shed a single tear, I would only make myself the punchline of another joke. By the time it was over, I had gone completely numb.

There was a heavy ache in my lower abdomen, a tearing pain that grew worse with every passing second.

Then, I felt it. Warm blood slowly ran down my thigh.

That was the reason I wanted to return to Cascade City. There was something I wanted to tell Julian. I wanted to tell him I was pregnant.

I wanted to ask him, after all these years, if he had ever grown to love me—even a little. I wanted to ask if we could raise this child together.

However, I never got the chance.

I never would.

…

Outside the room, I could still hear Julian softly comforting Elaine.

"Julian, is it over?" she asked. "Let's go home."

"Okay," Julian replied.

They had come together as a loving family, and they left together as one.

The breeze stirred by the corner of his coat swept past the doorway. In that moment, it completely extinguished the last flickering spark that had been struggling to survive inside my heart.

In the end, years of memories amounted to only a handful of moments when I looked back on them.

I pulled my gaze away from Julian and the shattered ceramic pieces beside him.

"So, we're done now? Can I leave?"

…

The next time I woke up, I was pulled from a light sleep by a commotion downstairs. It took me a moment to figure out what was happening.

Julian's friends had been teasing Elaine about when she planned to get married and whether they should introduce her to someone. Apparently, they had pushed the joke too far.

Elaine was crying so hard her voice had gone hoarse.

"I don't want to get married. I don't want to leave my brother."

With tears clouding her eyes, she looked at Julian. "You promised you'd marry me when we grew up. You lied to me. I won't marry anyone except you. Can I stay by your side forever?"

An awkward silence fell over the room. Everyone looked uncomfortable, unsure how to respond.

Watching the scene unfold, I could not resist joining in. My voice sounded surprisingly cheerful.

"Sure." I smiled.

"Why don't your brother divorce me and marry you instead?"

Julian's head snapped toward me. He stared for a long moment, then something seemed to click in his mind.

"Fine. I'll have the divorce papers brought over right now." He gave a short laugh. "You can hurry up and make room for Elaine. How's that sound?"

Less than ten minutes later, the divorce agreement was placed in my hands. Julian tapped the document with one finger. "I had this drafted on the day we got married. At least it didn't go to waste."

A sharp, untimely ache twisted in my chest. I pushed it down. Then, stroke by stroke, I carefully signed my name.

When Julian left with Elaine tucked against his side, he glanced back at me. His expression was as careless as ever. "Laura, I hope you stick with it longer this time. Don't come crying and begging me later."

I later heard that Julian's friends started a betting pool. The wager? How long it would take before I went crawling back to him and asked for reconciliation. The whole thing sounded like a bad joke. I forgot about it almost immediately.

After the long waiting period finally passed came the day I was set to leave Cascade City. The weather was beautiful.

…

The moment my plane lifted off the runway, Julian pushed open the door to his office. He spoke to his assistant while grabbing his coat.

"I'm going to find Laura."

There was obvious impatience in his voice. "Does she think marriage and divorce are some kind of game? She wants to divorce me now, but later, she'll come back to cling to me again."

He scoffed. "It's not going to be that easy."

His assistant hesitated. His lips parted, then closed again. Finally, he said, "Mr. Carter… Ms. Rogers has already left."

Before Julian could respond, his assistant placed a box on the desk. "Before she left, she asked me to give this to you."

He paused. "She said to consider it your birthday gift."