The Baby Trap Backfired

To help my wife, Mia Lowell, through labor, I blew a fortune on the latest paternity-linked pain transfer device.

Right before she went into the delivery room, Mia grabbed my hand. Tears streamed down her face.

"Honey, if it gets too painful, turn it off. I can't stand watching you suffer."

A nurse gave me one last reminder.

"Sir, the device automatically transfers the pain to the baby's biological father through DNA matching. Please be prepared."

The device switched on.

I felt nothing.

Not a twinge.

Just as I started wondering if I'd gotten scammed, a scream ripped through the hallway.

Ryan Duffy.

My best friend dropped to the floor, clutching his stomach.

"Aaaagh!"

A second later, my boss Andy Drake, who'd stopped by with a fruit basket, staggered out of the elevator with both hands between his legs.

Then came Luke Foley, a yoga coach seeing a doctor across the hall.

He was flat-out rolling on the floor, howling.

Inside the delivery room, Mia's weak voice drifted out.

"Honey, thank you for taking all this pain for me!"

I looked at the three guys writhing in agony.

Then I quietly turned the device all the way up.

Max load.

Holding my breath, I shouted toward the delivery room.

"I-I'm fine. I can still... take it."

The nurse went pale and reached for the power cord.

I caught her wrist. "Don't."

My eyes burned. My jaw locked tight. "My wife's scared of pain... I can handle it."

The nurse looked at me with nothing but sympathy.

Then she nodded and stepped back.

I let go of her wrist and slowly turned the load dial another half notch to the right.

Three screams ripped through the hallway.

Sharper.

Thirteen hours.

Andy was the first to break.

His body went slack. He passed out cold as a dark stain spread across his pants, the smell hitting a second later.

Ryan smashed the back of his head against the wall.

Crack.

His forehead split open, blood running down his nose.

Luke's arms and legs jerked uncontrollably.

His eyes rolled back. Foam bubbled from his mouth like he was having a seizure.

Three stretchers rushed in.

The men were wheeled away.

The hallway finally went quiet.

Then—

"Waaah—!"

A baby's cry rang out from the delivery room.

The door opened, and a nurse wheeled Mia out.

Her face was pale. Sweat covered her forehead.

The moment she saw me, tears filled her eyes.

"Honey... your clothes are soaked..." Her trembling hand found mine. "You almost died for me... You're the best man in the world..."

Beforehand, I'd dumped bottles of water over myself.

My clothes clung to my skin. Water dripped from my hair. I looked like I'd barely made it back from hell.

I squeezed her hand. "As long as you and the baby are okay... I'm fine..."

She cried even harder.

Beside us, the nurse quietly wiped her eyes.

The baby was placed in my arms, wrapped tight in a blanket. His tiny red face was scrunched up.

I looked down and fought back the nausea.

Not a drop of my blood ran through him.

"Honey, hold our son," Mia said weakly.

I forced a smile and gently rocked the bundle.

"He looks like you. Handsome guy."

A satisfied smile crossed her face.

Then she drifted off to sleep.

While cleaning up the hospital bag beside her bed, my hand brushed against something hard.

I pulled it out.

An opened box of XXXL condoms.

I stared at the bold XXXL on the package.

With that size, I'd need to turn sideways just to fit the width.

I took a slow breath, pulled out my phone, and snapped three photos.

On the hospital bed, Mia slept peacefully.

A faint smile still rested on her lips.