So Long and Farewell—Forever

By midnight, the noises coming from the living room had died down. I lay curled up on the bed and stared blankly into space. Tears streamed down my cheeks despite my efforts to hold them back.

I picked up the photo frame placed on the bedside table and traced my finger along the outline of our faces, hoping to feel the warmth and happiness captured in the photo.

I smiled bitterly. Derek had blocked me from viewing his social media account. He had to since he could not possibly let me find out he was openly expressing his love for someone else.

I thought that Derek had loved me for my pureness and innocence. Yet, it turned out what he liked about me was the complete faith I had in him. I was completely oblivious for the past nine years.

My gaze fell on his tablet. After keying in Ivy's birthday, I managed to get the tablet unlocked.

I felt as though sharp knives were driven into my heart as I scrolled through Derek's social media account.

Every year during our wedding anniversary, he would use work as an excuse to meet and fool around with Ivy.

All of the posts on his social media account consisted of photos of him and Ivy. The only post about me was a photo of an old medical report indicating I had a miscarriage.

The comments section was filled with well wishes for Derek. Some questioned why he posted something like that. Yet, Derek expressed a firm stance through his comment.

"No one should have to be bound by marriage. I simply want to be with the person I truly love."

Tears blurred my vision before they plopped down onto the screen of the tablet. My hands and feet were cold as I turned off the tablet. I was in so much pain and despair that I felt light-headed.

I took out the medical report that I had folded in half several times. I broke down in tears yet again when I looked at the results of the diagnosis once more.

I steeled myself and phoned my best friend, Yvonne Smith, who was a lawyer.

"Yvonne, Derek cheated on me with another woman… I'll send you the evidence I've gathered. I want a divorce. I may have to file for a divorce lawsuit if things don't go as planned."

"Derek cheated on you?" Yvonne exclaimed in disbelief.

Ever since I married Derek, I became a full-time housewife and cut off almost all connections with the outside world. Yvonne was the only friend I had left.

I called her out of the blue and surprised her with such shocking news.

"Mhm," I replied calmly.

I had given up on a lot of things for Derek.

Yvonne accepted my request right away. I took photos of what I saw on Derek's social media account and saved them. Also, I decided to rent a room elsewhere and stay there instead.

I started gathering my belongings.

Derek was always busy with work. There were often days when he would be away from home.

There were not that many things in the house that linked us together. The ones that actually did were the nine pairs of earrings stored inside my jewelry box.

I finally realized what these nine pairs of earrings signify. Derek would give me a pair of earrings each time he cheated on me. The nine pairs of earrings indicated that it was already the ninth year Derek had been doing this.

I stood facing the jewelry box, lost in thought.

I was somewhat aware of Derek and Ivy's relationship from the start. Still, I figured it would be over between them once Derek and I got married. Moreover, it was Ivy who had dumped Derek back then.

Derek was deeply hurt by the breakup when I first got to know him. I thought I was the one who had reignited the feelings of love and passion in him. So, I did my best to treat Derek well.

While those feelings were indeed reignited within him, they were not directed toward me.

As I was packing my suitcase, I happened to notice a small wooden box placed on a bookshelf. It was locked with a combination lock. The password was still Ivy's birthday.

"I've decided to divorce Sienna. However, I'll give myself a month. I'll get rid of the divorce agreement if I happen to change my mind afterward.

"Still, Ivy is the one I love. She can't live without me."

I could sense his decisiveness through his neat handwriting. I had not realized that Derek yearned for Ivy so much. There were many things that I wanted from him, yet he never gave them to me.

He had never stopped loving Ivy. Derek simply chose to do it while keeping me in the dark.

Inside one of the drawers of the bookshelf, a divorce agreement was hidden underneath a stack of documents. Derek had already signed his name on the agreement.

I lost the strength and will to hold onto this relationship. It felt as though I was falling into a cold, bottomless pit. I spent the rest of the night in deep anguish and sorrow.

As the sky slowly brightened the next day, I did just as Derek wished and signed the agreement.