
Seven Years, One Heartbreak, New Love
Chapter 8
Adeline Nixon POV:
I stood with my back to the door, listening to Ethan' s muffled shouts. He rattled the handle, then pounded on the wood. "Adeline! Just tell me what's wrong! Are you sick? What kind of doctor is this?" His voice was laced with a desperate urgency, a concern that was both too late and too self-serving.
I just closed my eyes, letting his pleas fade into the background. Let him wonder. Let him worry. It was a fraction of what I' d endured for years.
The doctor, a kind-faced woman who had been my therapist for the past year, watched me with gentle eyes. "Is everything alright out there, Adeline?" she asked, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "I take it your... ex-boyfriend is still having trouble accepting the breakup?"
I nodded, a weak smile touching my lips. Dr. Evans had been instrumental in helping me see the truth of my relationship with Ethan. She hadn' t judged me for my choices, but she had guided me towards self-awareness.
"He's just… confused," I said, the words tasting like a lie even as I uttered them. He wasn't confused; he was possessive.
"Well, I'm glad you're choosing yourself, Adeline," she said warmly. "It's a big step. And I must say, you look much better than the last time I saw you."
I did feel better. Lighter. The crushing weight of anxiety that had defined my life for so long was slowly, painstakingly, lifting.
"Remember what he used to say, Adeline?" Dr. Evans asked softly, her gaze steady. "How your anxiety was 'dramatic,' how you were 'overreacting?'"
A shiver went down my spine. Those words were burned into my memory. They were the reason I was here in the first place, the reason I' d started therapy, the reason I' d finally sought a formal diagnosis.
"He called it my 'fragility'," I mumbled, the old shame still clinging to me.
"And it wasn't fragility, was it?" she pressed gently. "It was GAD. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Triggered by a pattern of emotional neglect and gaslighting."
I remembered the day the diagnosis came. It wasn't a death sentence; it was a validation. It meant I wasn't crazy. I wasn't "dramatic." I was ill, and it wasn't my fault.
My anxiety wasn't just a reaction to Ethan. It was rooted in my childhood. My mother, a beautiful but volatile woman, had walked out on me when I was six. "I'll be back," she'd promised, her suitcase clutched in her hand. But she never was. I spent my childhood waiting, constantly on edge, terrified of being abandoned again. I tried so hard to be perfect, to be lovable, to be enough to make her stay.
When she eventually remarried and had a new family, she never looked back. I was raised by my aunt, a kind but distant woman who struggled to fill the void. I grew up with a gnawing fear of attachment, a desperate need for external validation, and a paralyzing terror of abandonment.
My first serious relationship in college had ended disastrously, reinforcing my deepest fears. He' d cheated, then blamed me for being "too clingy." Ethan, with his initial attentiveness and grand promises, had seemed like a savior. But his escalating fame, the constant presence of beautiful co-stars, the blurred lines between his on-screen persona and his real self, had poked at every raw nerve.
My anxiety became a suffocating blanket. It wasn't just a fear of him leaving; it was a fear of being erased, of becoming an afterthought, just like my mother had made me feel. I' d started having panic attacks, sometimes so severe I couldn't breathe. My chest would tighten, my vision would blur, a cold sweat would break out. The world would spin, and I' d feel like I was drowning.
"His behavior was textbook emotional abuse, Adeline," Dr. Evans said, her voice firm. "He preyed on your deeply rooted abandonment issues, making you feel responsible for his actions, all while systematically eroding your self-worth."
She was right. Every time he called me "insecure," every time he dismissed my feelings, he was reinforcing that old childhood wound, making me believe that I was the problem.
"Moving back to Portland, focusing on your bakery, it's the best thing you could do," she continued. "You're creating a new life, a new identity, one that isn't defined by him or his career."
I was already feeling the benefits. The days I spent elbow-deep in flour, creating beautiful pastries, were the only times my mind felt truly quiet. It was a different kind of focus, a healing kind. Baking was my anchor now, not a person. And breaking up with Ethan, physically removing myself from the constant source of my anxiety, was the final, necessary step.
My latest lab results, which I'd just received, were good. My cortisol levels were finally dropping. My sleep patterns were improving. I was starting to heal.
"You're doing wonderfully, Adeline," Dr. Evans smiled. "I have no doubt you're going to thrive."
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