Scarred by Your Love: A Contract Lover's Heartbreak

It was June-not exactly wintertime-but to Ariella, the water felt like it could cut straight through bone. She shivered, the cold crawling under her skin, but honestly, the chill had already sunk deeper than the body. She turned the showerhead on full blast over her head, drenching herself as if she could wash the pain away. But her chest still ached. Her mind kept going back to that closet full of pajamas Lucian had bought her. Seriously? Was she that pathetic-getting tripped up over some clothes like they meant something? Did she really think it was okay to still dream about someone who belonged to Fiona? The tub was already filled with cold water. She stepped in and sat down, lifting the showerhead again to soak herself all over. She started to tremble, teeth chattering, skin covered in goosebumps. But it felt... right. Like maybe if she froze herself on the outside, her broken heart would finally go numb too. No clue how long she'd been in there, but eventually, her body couldn't take it anymore. She was freezing, yet somehow burning up at the same time-her breath was hot, her head fuzzy. Then the phone rang back in the bedroom. She dragged herself up, swaying a bit, yanked a towel over her dripping body and staggered towards the sound. It was Mom. She said she'd made dinner and told her and Dylan to come over tonight. Ariella had totally spaced. "Ariella, what's wrong with your voice?" her mom asked. That's when Ariella noticed how much her throat hurt-like her tonsils had blown up overnight. "Think I caught a cold," she replied, her voice thick and off. "You were just fine this morning! What happened? Fell asleep with the AC on?" "Yeah... I'm okay, Mom. Just not up for going out today. I'll bring him over soon, alright?" "Alright then, just make sure Dylan takes care of you. Get him to make you some hot tea. And if he can't, I'll whip up a pot and send it over." "No no no! He's good at that stuff-he's got it. Really." Ariella coughed hard, panicked. If her mom showed up, it'd be a disaster. "Okay okay, hang up and drink something warm." "Mm..." Ariella barely held it together until the call ended. Then she broke into a coughing fit that bent her over, her face flushing red, throat on fire and begging for a drop of water, but she clenched her fists and shut down the urge. The pain in her throat, at least, gave her something else to feel. Her mom had asked how someone could get sick in just a day. But what she didn't understand-life crashes fast. Just like how Ariella watched Lucian marry Fiona. It only took a second to have everything ripped away. Lucian had never told her he loved her. Not once. But she used to think, if she just held on, maybe he'd be moved. That hope? Gone. And with it, her future crumbled into dust. Twenty-two. Was that too young to feel this hollow? She should be in the spring of her life, but her heart-no, her whole world-already felt like late autumn. Dry, brittle, and falling apart. She still hadn't taken her birth control pill today. She opened the drawer, grabbed the bottle, twisted it open, and swallowed one dry. That whole process took her a while. After that, the coughing started up again. Coughing so hard she could barely catch her breath, she finally gave in and slumped on the bed. It was freezing. The blanket was right at her feet, but she stubbornly refused to pull it over herself, letting the chill seep in deeper and deeper. Her body was caught between burning fever and bone-deep cold. She lay there shaking, her breaths getting hotter and her mind hazier by the second. In that fogged-up state, Forrest showed up in her head - that sunny guy with just the right touch of roguish charm. "Babe, you hurting?" His voice was so soft and gentle. "Why are you such a fool? Come here, let me hold you," he said. His face seemed to morph... clearer now. Wait, not Forrest-Lucian. "No! I don't want you! I want Forrest! He wouldn't hurt me. Never!" she choked out, shouting hoarsely, tears streaming down fast. Then Forrest was back again, gently pulling her into his arms, speaking low and calm. "Babe, everything will pass. Don't cry. I'll always be here for you." And in that tender embrace, she felt the tension ease out... soaking in his warmth like she never wanted to let go. Then suddenly, Lucian's name flashed in her brain. She was his mistress. Nothing more. The lowest of the low. No way did she deserve Forrest's love. "I'm sorry. Please... go," she whispered, torn apart inside, but still letting him go. She couldn't be that selfish. He looked at her for a long time, eyes filled with disappointment, and then finally turned away. As his figure faded out of view, her heart cracked all over again. More tears. More cold. More hunger. Ariella woke up soaked in sorrow. It was the middle of the night. Pitch black. With no moon at the end of the lunar month, the darkness felt as heavy as the ache in her chest. Turns out the pain in her dream wasn't fake. Neither were the tears on her face. As she'd guessed, Lucian hadn't come. He was probably lying in bed beside Fiona, planning their perfect honeymoon or some other sweet nothing. Sleep wouldn't come. Her fever shot up more and more, until she passed out, burning up. Somewhere deep down, she realized she really was all alone. Abandoned by her birth parents. Dumped by life too. Maybe death was just a way out. Except-she thought of her mom and dad. They adored her. She was their pride and joy. That thought gave her just the tiniest strength. She wanted to wake up... but her body wouldn't listen. When she finally opened her eyes, sunlight poured in. Midday. Guess if you don't die, you just live on. The ceiling above her spun slowly. Then two dings from her phone broke the stillness- a message. That's what finally yanked her consciousness back.