Reset to the Day They Killed Me

After I said the word divorce, Mason was quiet for a long time.

When his voice came back, it was clipped and arrogant.

"Lara, what is this game?

"I didn't pull you out of the wreck first, so now we're getting divorced?

"I have told you. There is nothing between her and me. How many times do I have to explain it?"

He paused. He softened it on purpose.

"For the baby's sake, I'm not going to take this personally."

I closed my eyes. I pushed everything that was rising in my throat back down.

"Mason. I'm not interested in any of that.

"My lawyer will send you the divorce papers. Show up on the date we set and sign them."

"You!" He hit the wall on his temper. "Lara, I do not respond well to threats! Fine. We're divorced! Don't come crawling back!"

What came after that was him stalling. He would not show up. He would not sign. He would not call.

He clearly thought I was going to soften, and then I was going to come apologize.

The longer I went silent, the more it broke him.

The pile-on online got worse. I could not buy groceries without strangers giving me looks.

Later, I figured out where the new wave was coming from. Maya and her squad of friends were running it.

Mason knew. He looked the other way.

He did call me, eventually.

"Lara, you see now. I am the only one who can keep you safe.

"Withdraw the divorce. Apologize to Maya. I'll make all of this go away.

"If you don't, what comes next is worse than this."

He thought he could squeeze me into bowing.

I gave him one line back. "No. The divorce is happening."

I had my lawyer hammer through the negotiations. We set a date for the signing.

When the day came, Mason did not show.

I sat in the lawyer's office with the papers in front of me. The frustration was building in my chest.

That was when Maya's voice came in from the hallway.

"Lara, you think threatening Mason with divorce is going to make him look at you. Don't dream.

"If I had not been overseas, you would never have had your shot. Be smart. Walk away while you still can."

I turned around. I kept my voice flat.

"Mason is the one who won't sign. Not me. If you can talk him into it, by all means.

"Or maybe his feelings for you don't actually run that deep. Maybe he'd rather keep you in the dark than give you any kind of name."

The mask cracked off Maya's face.

She slammed her bag on the floor and pointed at me, screaming.

"Who said Mason doesn't love me?

"He let your b*stard die for me."

That hit the most vulnerable part of me. The child I had not been able to save was a wound that had not had a single good day to close.

Rage took the rest of my sense.

I went straight at her. Both my hands closed on her throat.

"Shut up! You don't talk about my baby!"

Maya turned a deep red and started thrashing and screaming.

"Help! This woman has lost it!

"Mason! Mason, she is killing me!"

That was when Mason came rushing in.

He shoved me off her. I went down hard.

Post-miscarriage, my body had nothing left. I could not stand up.

"Lara, have you lost your mind?!"

He cradled Maya. He glared down at me.

"Maya came here, on her own, to talk us out of getting divorced, and you put your hands on her. What is wrong with you?

"Apologize. Right now.

"Otherwise, I sign the papers. And don't come crying when you regret it."

I pushed myself up off the floor slowly.

"I am not apologizing."

"Unbelievable!"

He glared at me, then his eyes dropped, almost by accident, to my flat belly.

He stopped.

His face went through a dozen things at once and ended on something that looked like fear.

"Your stomach is flat. Where is the baby? Lara, where is our baby?"