
Regretting the Rest of His Years
Chapter 8
Sasha was heading to Ella's hometown.
Before Ella passed away, her biggest wish had been to return to her hometown.
Back then, Sasha had been too busy with work. Besides, her hometown had brought her too much pain, so she'd kept putting off bringing Ella's ashes back.
Even though she forced herself to hold back her emotions, when the cold air hit her face, all the sharp, painful memories locked deep in her mind rushed back, slamming into her.
Ella had been the other woman. After Sasha was born, Ella had been exposed by Priscilla Berg, the wife of the man she was involved with.
In retaliation, Priscilla didn't just spread Ella's photo around town. Every time Ella tried to find a job, Priscilla and her people would show up and cause a scene—smashing things, tearing off her clothes, and doing whatever they could to humiliate her.
Throughout Sasha's childhood, the only images she had were of Ella covering her body in public or begging Priscilla on her knees.
Ella, unable to keep any job due to the constant disruptions, had no choice but to take Sasha with her to scavenge through trash bins and live under a bridge.
Even when the neighborhood committee helped Sasha get into school, Priscilla didn't leave them alone.
She put up banners in front of Sasha's school, handed out Ella's photos to the other students' parents, and accused her of being a morally corrupt mistress.
She called Sasha an "illegitimate child" who didn't deserve an education in front of everyone.
Even though Sasha was just a little girl at the time, she could feel the sting of the mocking and pitying glances from everyone around her.
Finally, after all the torment, Ella couldn't take it anymore. She took Sasha up to the 20th floor of a building.
Sasha could never forget the dizziness she felt standing on that wind-blown rooftop and Ella's tear-streaked face, which was full of despair.
"I'm so sorry, Sasha. I made you go through all this pain. But don't worry. I'll set us free now. If we jump from here, we won't be in pain anymore. We'll finally be free."
Saying that, Ella grabbed Sasha and tried to drag her to the edge.
Sasha was in so much pain, but she still wanted to live. She dropped to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably.
"Mom, please… Please don't take me with you. I want to live. I want to stay alive, even if this life is all I have left. Let's get out of here. Let's go somewhere far away and hide for the rest of our lives. Please."
Sasha slammed her forehead hard against the rough concrete ground.
The sound of her head hitting the ground echoed in the quiet, like a death knell.
She almost felt like she'd crack her skull open. Only when she thought she was about to break did Ella crawl over and pull her into a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry, Sasha. We won't die. We won't die."
Cradled in Ella's arms, Sasha smelled the rusty scent of the blood oozing from her forehead.
And that was the first time she understood what it meant to hate.
She couldn't hate Ella, who gave birth to her and raised her, but she hated the man who got Ella pregnant and Priscilla, who pushed them to the brink of destruction.
Maybe the pain of the past was just too much to bear. After Sasha left the airport, she smoked three cigarettes to calm the suffocating weight in her heart.
Then, she drove to her uncle Arthur Barlow's eatery.
The moment she walked in, Arthur looked at her with a face full of disgust.
"Sasha, do you know that I can never show my face around here because of your mom? And now you have the nerve to come back?"
Sasha didn't respond to him. Instead, she calmly pulled an envelope from her purse. "Here's 50 thousand dollars. Bury my mom's ashes in the Barlow family's ancestral grave."
Arthur's face, which had been full of disdain, immediately shifted to a false smile.
"You should've said you had money sooner. It's just an urn. I'll take care of it right away. Don't worry. I'll make sure to find her a good burial site.
"How about next to your grandma's grave? She loved Ella the most, even mentioning before she passed that she wished Ella could come to visit her."
Sasha didn't want to listen to Arthur's rambling. She coldly left her phone number and walked out of the restaurant.
Once outside, seeing the snow falling softly from the sky, Sasha couldn't resist pulling out a cigarette and placing it between her lips.
As she watched the smoke twist and dance in the cold air, her eyes finally filled with tears.
She exhaled a puff of smoke before choking out, "I've finally brought you home, Mom."