Proposal No. 18: Still Lost to Her Childhood Sweetheart

This was indeed an unusual thought process. I thought about it for a moment before opening the car door. A faint, familiar scent lingered in the passenger seat—it belonged to Eric.

The seat had also been adjusted, probably to his preferred position. I felt uncomfortable because nothing there belonged to me.

When she saw me fidgeting, Hailey opened the car's glove compartment and skillfully took out some motion sickness pills.

"Are you feeling unwell? Here, take…"

She stopped mid-sentence as she suddenly remembered I didn't get car sick.

Hailey laughed dryly. "If the seat's uncomfortable, you can adjust it."

She moved quickly, but I still saw it. Inside the compartment, there was also a photo of Eric.

I thought I could handle it, but when I faced the truth for real, my heart still couldn't help but clench in pain.

"There's no need."

I looked out the window the whole way. Hailey kept trying to make conversation, but it always circled back to Eric before fizzling out.

By the time we arrived, my breathing was heavy, and my whole body felt cold. I hadn't realized it before, but I realized my girlfriend's entire life was filled with the shadows of another person.

Meanwhile, Hailey was particularly excited. She knew the place well and didn't even need a server's assistance. She pulled me around, giving me a tour.

Some servers even greeted her.

"Ms. Morgan is here! Is this your brother? You're so lucky. Both your brother and your boyfriend are so handsome."

It was a compliment, but both Hailey and I shifted our expressions at the same time.

She shot the waiter an unhappy look and quickly explained to me, "Eric's illness requires him to go out a lot. There's nothing between us. They're just making assumptions."

I hadn't said anything, yet she was already rushing to explain things. It only confirmed what the server said.

I just didn't want to argue anymore, so I found a random table and sat down to order.

Hailey's attention quickly shifted to the menu. Or maybe that wasn't the case—perhaps she never cared whether I believed her or not.

After all, I loved her. I was pathetic and would lie to myself anyway.

I stayed silent. Hailey was interrupted mid-order by a phone call. She merely glanced at it before immediately answering it anxiously.

I don't know what was said on the other end, but she nearly kicked over her chair in her agitation and ran outside, saying to me, "Eric's having another episode. I need to check on him. You eat first."

She ran off so fast that her words were almost inaudible.

The server gave me a friendly smile, but I had lost all interest and just listed a few random dishes.

An hour passed, and the food grew cold. The sun gradually neared the mountaintop, leaving a brilliant golden glow.

I took a photo of the scene with my phone. There was still no word from Hailey, but Eric had updated his Instagram.

In the photo, he was leaning heavily against Hailey's chest.

The caption read, "Only when you're here can I feel at peace. Thank goodness you're always there."

The sunset shining on me felt cold at that moment.

I posted an update to my Instagram too.

"Actually, watching the sunset alone can also be kind of romantic."

I knew Eric posted that on purpose for me to see. He wanted me to get angry and jealous before I would confront Hailey, making her hate me even more.

But after eight years, my heart had long been filled with an unending sense of coldness.

I didn't want to fight anymore, nor did I have the energy to fight anymore.

Even clowns got a break. Why did I have to keep performing my solo act every time?