Playground 51 - The Wildest Magic School on Earth

INT. GOLDEN REDEMPTION SCHOOL OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE – DEMONOLOGY CLASS – DAY

MAXIM MACINTYRE yells angrily as the camera pans around the room. It reveals the classroom's dark wooden walls.

There are scrolls with strange symbology, printouts with Bible quotes, and posters illustrating various exorcism techniques.

Camera pans to Maxim, who's a handsome kid, but with wild blue eyes like a pit bull. Likewise, he seems to always be barking at someone, trying to get them in line.

MAXIM

-I'm sick of this B.S!

The camera pans over to a slightly overweight Catholic priest standing in front of his desk.

FATHER CREEGAN

Maxim, I'm not going to tell you again to sit down!

MAXIM

No, I won't sit down! I'll stand up and honor my country's flag! Don't tell me to sit down, tell him to get up!

He points to Eddie. Eddie is sitting, hunched over his desk, writing in his notebook.

MAXIM

A black Japanophile? But he won't stand to say the pledge of allegiance to honor his own country?

EDDIE

Kono kuni wa watashi no senzo o ichido mo sonkei shite imasen! Seikō watashi wa ikutsu ka no orokana furagu o sonchō suru tsumorida!

(Subtitle: F@#! that flag!)

MAXIM

I don't know what you just said, but I know it was un-American!

BOBBY ROCKABILLY is a brown-haired boy sitting in a seat to Maxim's side. He was trying to ignore the argument, but can't take it anymore.

BOBBY

Maxim, man, sit down and chill!

BRENT BRADLEY, another dark-haired boy sitting behind Rockabilly, kicks his leg.

BRENT BRADLY

(Growls under his breath)

Let 'em fight! We don't gotta do no work as long as they fight.

BOBBY

But...

Pencils and spitballs pelt him from the other young demon hunters, and a slap to the back of the head from Brent. Bobby is being too much of a freakin' geek.

FATHER CREEGAN

Eddie, for the last time, please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. We've gone through this 100 times already!

EDDIE

We gon' go through this 100 more times if you insist. I don't worship no FLAG!

FATHER CREEGAN

I already told you, we are not worshiping the flag, we are just honoring it!

EDDIE

What's the difference?

Father Creegan sighs and tries to collect himself.

FATHER CREEGAN

Eddie, I'm a Catholic Priest. You think I wouldn't know if honoring our flag was wrong?

EDDIE

(Laughs)

The Bible itself says we're not supposed to worship anything but the Lord God. Worshipping that dumb flag is Idolatry.

MAXIM

Why are we tolerating this B.S.?

He turns to Eddie.

MAXIM

You're just on some "Black Lives Matter" bullshit! Whining about the very country you live in!

Anna Delgato, a Latina vampire slayer, pipes up.

ANNA

That's not what he said, Maxim. He said it's Idola--

MAXIM

--And if you're so unhappy here, the choice is easy, Eddie. Why don't you leave? Go back to Absolution Academy. Hell, go back to Africa, for all I care!

The class groans at that one.

BUCK KISSENGER smiles and starts one of his angelic songs, opening his arms to heaven like he's going full gospel.

BUCK

(Sings)

...And there he goes with that buuuullll shhhhhhiiiiiiittt--

The class laughs, all except Father Creegan, Maxim, Eddie, and Bobby.

SANOT COLE, an African American boy with light skin and coke bottle glasses, shakes his head, disappointed with Maxim.

SANOT

Hold on, white people-

Points to Maxim.

SANOT

dragged us-

Pulls his thumb towards himself.

SANOT

to this country!

Points down at the ground.

SANOT

How you gonna tell any of us to go back to Africa?

Other students, now fully infuriated, start arguing with Maxim as well.

Father Creegan sighs and leans on his desk, completely exasperated.

FATHER CREEGAN

I absolutely cannot take this anymore! Now the entire class is arguing!

FATHER CREEGAN

Eddie, I will not have you being disruptive to this class. We are a unit, soldiers of light, and if you are one of us, you will act like it!

FATHER CREEGAN

And Maxim, you are the division commander, but you are NOT the teacher! You will let me be the teacher and handle Eddie!

MAXIM

Why am I getting in trouble? This is all his fault!

FATHER CREEGAN

Ok, Maxim! But-

MAXIM

He's selfish! We're supposed to be training to be demon hunters! Basically, we're fighting a war we've already lost! The whole country has run amuck with demons, and this idiot is on some Colin Kaepernick shit!

He turns to glare at Eddie.

MAXIM

We can't even understand what he's saying half the time!

FATHER CREEGAN

Well, that's because he's speaking Japanese.

EDDIE

Hakujin no akuma wa don'na gengodeatte mo shinjitsu o rikai shimasen.

(Subtitles: you people don't understand truth no matter what language.)

MAXIM

Shut up! You see what I mean? He does it on purpose to piss us off!

He leans over Eddie's desk to growl right in his face.

MAXIM

You're a witch anyway. What are you even doing here if you hate it so much?

The class "oohs" at that.

Eddie continues doodling in his notebook, refusing to be intimidated.

EDDIE

I used to be a witch. But you're still a white devil, and you're here, so why can't I be?

Maxim leans even further, placing his hand on Eddie's desk so he can speak right into his ear.

MAXIM

You are crazy, you know that? I heard you were in a mental hospital over the summer. Did you break out? Can we send you back?

FATHER CREEGAN

MAXIM!

Eddie finally breaks his cool, his eyes cut into Maxim's as he slowly rises out of his chair.

When he finally makes it to his feet, he angrily pulls out a neon green water pistol and points it at Maxim.

EDDIE

The only thing breaking out is your face, you ole' pickle chin, DEVIL!

He pulls the trigger on the gun, and water squirts out, hitting Maxim in the face.

Eddie turns to address Father Creegan.

EDDIE

Anata wa tawagoto de ippaidesu!

(Subtitles: Ya'll full of shit!)

EDDIE

This holy water mess don't work! This cave beast is just standing there lookin' stupid!

The Bell Rings.

Maxim tries to rush for Eddie, but Brent and Bobby jump up to hold him back.

Father Creegan grabs a Bible from off his desk and pushes it into Eddie's chest.

FATHER CREEGAN

Genesis, you will learn it! You will learn about the struggles against darkness we are facing as a country TOGETHER! You will report to the confessional after school and write the entire first 5 chapters of this book, and you will not be allowed to leave until you've completed this work!

EDDIE

5 chapters? What? That'll take all night!

FATHER CREEGAN

It'll take at least 7 hours, and that's if you're a fast writer. And once you have a FULL understanding of what we are trying to do here, you WILL come back and honor the American flag! Do I make myself clear?

Eddie rolls his eyes, grumbles, and leaves the classroom. The other children start to file out.

FATHER CREEGAN

And once again, we wasted the entire lecture arguing! This is not how the soldiers of light prepare for battle!

Maxim finally stops glaring at Father Creegan as he wipes his face with a napkin.

He storms out, leaving with the last few students as they file out.

And as the last student leaves, the camera zooms in on a small white poster by the door that features "The Prayer of Saint Eads." That quote reads, "May our hearts remain united, even after the truth divides them."

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