Office Jokes About My Toilet Time Went Too Far

I've just left the washroom when Vanessa Shallow, who has just returned from her maternity leave, covers her mouth as she laughs at me.

"Wow, you really are quick when it comes to bathroom breaks, huh? No wonder your sales performance is increasing by leaps and bounds! I suppose it's all thanks to your ability to take off your pants very quickly!"

Vanessa acts as though she's joking as she starts making faces at the male colleagues around us.

"Right, I forgot how prideful young ladies are nowadays! They can't seem to accept such truths when spoken in such a blunt manner!"

The colleagues burst out laughing in a lecherous way afterward. Their perverted gazes keep clinging to my legs the whole time.

As I stare at Vanessa's slightly bloated face, my gaze grows cold.

It seems that she's so anxious to get her position as the project leader back that she's willing to shed even her sense of shame and propriety.

I take a step forward and speak up. "I'm not as skilled as you are when it comes to such things, Vanessa. After all, not everyone is capable of making Mr. Studdard visit their home every midnight during their maternity leave."

As soon as my words fall, the previously rowdy office goes deathly silent.

Just then, the glass door of the office swung open.

My manager, Miguel Studdard, lumbered in with his big belly jutting out in front of him. He caught every word I'd just said.

His expression instantly fell, and a flicker of panic crossed his eyes.

Vanessa Shallow, who'd been sharp-tongued and sarcastic just moments earlier, shifted her expression instantly.

With reddened eyes, she rushed over to Miguel's side, pointed at me, and complained, "Mr. Studdard, you have to stand up for me! I know Macy is jealous that I came back after my maternity leave and is worried I'll steal her spotlight, but how could she spread such disgusting rumors about us?

"I just had a baby! If my reputation is ruined, how am I supposed to go on living?"

Miguel, already feeling guilty, immediately seized the chance to give himself a way out when he saw Vanessa crying. His face darkened as he pointed straight at me.

"Macy Monroe!" he roared. "Vanessa is a long-time employee here and your senior! How can you spread lies about your colleague just because you're jealous? Apologize to her right now!"

I stared at the adulterous pair coldly.

The truth was, I'd known about their dirty little affair for a while now.

Last month, I worked overtime to push a project forward. When I went down to the underground parking garage to get my car, I happened to come across Miguel's car parked in a blind spot away from the surveillance cameras, shaking noticeably.

The window was half lowered, and the soft moans coming from inside belonged to none other than Vanessa, who was supposed to be on "maternity leave".

One of the biggest taboos in the workplace was accidentally finding out about a superior's dirty secrets, so I just pretended I hadn't seen or heard anything and quietly walked away.

But what I never expected was that, while I minded my own business, Vanessa would dare publicly smear me in return.

I was just about to say something when someone pressed a hand on my shoulder.

It was Todd Westman, my colleague and boyfriend of six months.

I let out a small breath of relief when I saw him, thinking he had come to stand up for me. But the next second, he raised his voice and snapped, "You've gone too far, Macy! Even if you don't want to hand over the project, how can you slander Vanessa and Mr. Studdard? Hurry up and apologize!"

I stared at him in disbelief.

Back then, he said office relationships looked bad and insisted we keep our relationship a secret. Later, I discovered that he often used his "single" status to flirt with female colleagues from other departments.

I tolerated it, telling myself he was just networking.

But now, just to impress Miguel and get ahead, he couldn't wait to trample all over me.

I let out a short, humorless laugh. "Todd Westman, what right do you have to lecture me?"

His eyes darted around for a second before he raised his voice even louder. "I'm just saying this as a colleague who knows right from wrong! You should know what's good for you, Macy!"

Looking at his hypocritical, revolting expression, I couldn't even be bothered to argue. I picked up the iced coffee on my desk and, without hesitation, splashed it straight in his face.

"Are you insane, Macy Monroe?" he roared, wiping his face.

Seeing that I not only refused to back down but even dared to throw a drink at him in front of everyone, Miguel completely lost it.

"You've got some nerve, Macy Monroe! Our department has no use for an employee like you who defies her superior and attacks her colleagues! Effective immediately, you're suspended from all duties! The Gilla Group project you're working on will be handed over to Vanessa!"

Hiding behind Miguel, Vanessa shot me a smug, taunting smile.

"Sure," I said, curling my lips slightly. "Let's hope Vanessa can actually handle a multimillion-dollar project."