No Peace in Life or Death

My best friend, Rola Collins, rolled her eyes and said, “What do you even like about him? That constant scowl, like the world owes him a million bucks? Or the fact that he’s so uptight he practically buttons his uniform up to his chin?”

Back then, I thought everything about him was perfect.

“That’s not a scowl. It’s called being cool!

“And he’s not uptight, he’s just reserved. Do you even know what that means?” I laughed as I turned her head toward Chris.

He happened to glance over at us, and my face instantly turned red.

Later, I found out he lived not far from me, so I started looking for excuses to catch rides with his family.

The first time I asked, he agreed without much thought.

The second time, he frowned and asked, “Doesn’t your family send a driver to pick you up, Emily?”

I bit my lip, not wanting to admit that my parents only sent the driver for Lily. Nobody bothered to come for me.

Chris noticed how uncomfortable I was and didn’t say anything more. But after a month of me hitching rides, he started rushing out of school as soon as the bell rang, trying to get to the car before I could catch up.

But back then, I was fit, determined, and crazy enough to chase after him like my life depended on it.

“Chris, wait up!” I would sprint and practically tackle him as he was getting into the car, then jump in and tell the driver to go.

He was still pretty nice to me back then. He would give me dolls for my birthday.

But over time, he grew more and more annoyed. “Emily, why are you so clingy?”

When he found out about Lily, he confronted me, demanding to know why the two York sisters were so different.

I was impulsive and stubborn, with a gloomy personality, while my sister, Lily, was smart, sweet, and innocent.

I didn’t understand why he cared so much, so I stubbornly tried even harder to win his heart in my own misguided ways.

I would throw away love letters other girls left for him in his desk and replace them with chocolates I made myself.

When he wasn’t happy with a test score, I would sneak into the office and change his 91 to a 99.

When a teacher warned him about dating in high school, I would step in and declare, “He’s not dating anyone! I’m just pursuing him all on my own!”

The whole class burst into laughter.

His face turned bright red, and as soon as we left the classroom, he shoved me aside. “Emily, you’re such a pain! Leave me alone!”

I was so naive back then.

I used to believe that if a girl was persistent enough, she could win over any guy. I thought that if I kept trying, he would eventually be mine.

When I met his mom in college, she said, “Chris always talks about a girl named Emily. So it’s you! You really are as pretty as he described.”

That boosted my confidence.

Two years after graduation, on my 24th birthday, he agreed to my proposal with a blank expression.

I was so excited I could not sleep. I hugged the doll he had given me and rolled around on my bed, overwhelmed with joy.

It took me a long time to realize he had not said yes because he loved me. It was because his mom thought I came from a good family and that, since I was so devoted to him, I would take good care of him.

He figured, since he had to get married someday, why not me?

But at the same time, he resented me for not being as gentle and understanding as Lily.

Then, the night before our engagement party, I got a message to meet at the park in Central Square.

Lily was there, watching as some thug pinned me to the ground, laughing like she was watching the best show ever.

It wasn’t until I jabbed the guy in the eye with a stick and shoved Lily to the ground that I managed to escape, covered in blood, and ran home.

Before I could catch my breath, my mom came at me, screaming, “Emily! What have we ever done to you? How could you hurt Lily like that? If you ruin her life, I’ll never forgive you!”

I did not understand why she had suddenly turned on me. Lily was her daughter, but wasn’t I too?

But they would not listen to a word I said. They dragged me to the police station and accused me of assault.

Later, I found out that Lily had cut her face when she fell, and the thug had lost his right eye.

It did not take long for my sentence to be decided. Since Lily and the thug agreed to a settlement, I was given a three-year prison term.