Never the Way We Were

The fire spread quickly. The smoke had me choking on the floor, and the burns had gone deep enough that the pain stopped registering. I sobbed and clawed my way toward the door.

"Elara Langley, you worthless piece of garbage, do not die in here!"

If Stellan came back and found a charred body, he would never recover from it.

The words flashed urgently, guiding me. "This way, over here! Move this way!"

I crawled as fast as I could in the direction the words pointed, but the air was already gone. My consciousness slipped away.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Stellan arrived soon after, and Thea came with him.

Stellan murmured, sounding drained. "I was gone for one day. How did you manage to do this to yourself again?"

My hands twisted against each other. "I'm sorry..."

A police officer laid into Stellan. "What kind of guardian are you? How could you leave a blind person home alone? Do you have any idea she nearly burned to death?"

I tried to speak up for him, but Stellan's voice reached me first, hollow and lost.

"Is this what happens every time I try to move forward? You use reality to remind me that I'm never allowed to leave your side?"

Thea suddenly screamed. "Elara Langley!

"You set me up to convince Stellan, and right when he was about to say yes, you pulled something like this? You did it on purpose to guilt him into staying, didn't you!"

I could not see the bloodshot look in Stellan's eyes. I laughed.

"So what if I did? As long as my eyes don't get better, he has to stay by my side and be my dog for the rest of his life. Why else would I have taken him in?"

The crack of a palm against skin rang through the hospital room.

Stellan's slap knocked my head sideways. I let the corner of my mouth curl.

The idiot's hand had been shaking when he hit me.

"Stel, a worthless life like yours has no business chasing dreams. I burned every painting you hid. You're not going anywhere."

My phone rang. Mom's booming voice blared through before I could answer.

"I'm almost at the old house. Be packed and ready."

Before I could respond, Stellan snatched the phone from my hand. He grabbed my wrist, squeezing until I could feel the bones shift. Whatever was left holding him together finally gave way.

He screamed at me. "Elara Langley, I wish to God I'd died in that snow!

"20 years! I don't owe you a single thing anymore!"

He dragged me off the hospital bed. The doctor tried to intervene. "She can't be discharged. Her burns are severe!"

Stellan dragged me out anyway.

By the time we reached the gate of the apartment complex, Mom had just pulled up. It had been ten years since I had last seen her.

Stellan hauled me in front of her and let go. His voice was raw and twisted with something that almost sounded like relief.

"Take her and get as far away from me as you can. I hope I never see you again for the rest of my life."

He turned and left.

I echoed him silently. "Me too."

I went with Mom. She kept her distance, repulsed.

"I'm only here because you're my daughter. You'd better keep your word. Once I take you out of here, you're on your own.

"And whatever happened to you, that's your problem. Your sister is in school and that costs money."

I smiled. I was not sad. After all, today even the person who loved me most in this world had thrown me away.

"I won't be any trouble, Mom. Can you drop me off at Centennial Park?"

That was the place where I had found Stellan.

The moment we arrived, Mom left me there, as if she were afraid I would latch on.

It was winter, and the park was nearly empty. There was no one around to scold a blind girl for wandering where she did not belong.

I drifted in slow circles, round and round, until the burns across my body went numb from the cold and I could not feel anything at all.

My head throbbed. I thought I could hear Stellan's faint voice calling for help in the snow, the way it had sounded all those years ago.

However, I remembered that Stellan did not want to be saved by a blind girl. I called for help, over and over, but nobody came.

His breathing grew weaker and weaker.

I panicked. I am so sorry. Stellan. It’s going to be the blind girl saving you again.

I stumbled forward, and the words erupted in a piercing, deafening alarm.