My Villainy Starts With a Coffin

Kim grabbed my shoulder and yelled, "This won't do! You can't be unpresentable at your grandfather-in-law's funeral! Change into new clothes right now!"

She tried to drag me toward the door.

The live chat cheered.

[She's the GOAT!!! Getting changed will take at least five minutes!]

[They just need one minute, bro. Just a small crack in the coffin so they can breathe!]

[Get out of there already, you annoying side character. My best girl needs fresh air!]

[Poor Stephie's already crying. She wanted to get out so badly, but Vincent isn't letting her. He's holding her hands down!]

Jasmine seized the opportunity. She grabbed my other arm and said, "I'll go with you, Aya!"

They tried to haul me out of the hall.

A sound came from the coffin.

Kim went pale.

"Let's not dawdle, Aya!" she said loudly, trying to cover the noise. Her eyes twitched as she shot several glances at the coffin. She was counting down the seconds until we were gone.

I did not resist. I let them drag me toward the door. Just before stepping out, I pretended to collapse to the side.

I rubbed my temples and said weakly, "Oh no… Aunt Kimmy, Jazzy… My head's spinning. I feel sick. I can't stand… Could you get the clothes for me instead? I can change here. Maybe in that corner."

I pointed to an area near the coffin. It was far too exposed for anyone to change without being seen.

Kim's expression darkened. Jasmine froze.

The live chat turned vicious.

[That fucking bitch!]

[Just jump out of the coffin and divorce her right now! Sue her until she has nothing left!]

[He can't, you dumbass. He needs to secure her family's business first!]

[I would've dropped this story ages ago if I didn't know she's going to crash and burn!]

I looked up at Kim with an innocent expression. "I don't have the strength to make it to the changing room. I can't even sit straight. I think there's a chair behind the casket. Could you ask someone to move it and bring it to me?"

"No!" she shrieked, her voice cracking. She quickly forced it under control and added with a stiff smile, "I don't want to disturb my father's rest."

She glanced at my soaked slacks, then at the coffin, and clenched her teeth. "You'll have to make do like this."

A loud thud came from inside the coffin.

The visitors went pale and stared.

Kim grimaced. "It's a rat. This hall hasn't been used in ages. There's probably an infestation. One must have burrowed into the coffin…"

[It's Stephanie! She can't hold it in anymore!]

[Vincent's not doing great either!]

"Really?" I asked innocently. "How big would a rat have to be to make a sound like that?"

[Oh my God! Vincent's giving her CPR now!]

[What kind of plot is this? I'm actually kind of excited!]

[I can't wait to see her face when she realizes her best friend and husband are inside!]

A few seconds later, another voice cut in, "What is going on here?"

[It's the mother-in-law! She's here to save her son!]

"Dulce, I brought your daughter-in-law soup to thank her for her hard work. Do you know what she did? She deliberately knocked it over, dirtied her pants, and then clung to the coffin in front of everyone. It looked like she was trying to make us seem like we treat her as a slave!"

Dulce barked from outside the door, "Someone take Aya to the lounge! She's exhausted herself and is now delirious!"

Two of Jazzy's distant aunts exchanged uncertain looks.

"Why are you forcing me out of the hall, Mom?" I shouted.

"Why are you so eager to call me delirious?" I pointed at the coffin. "Could it be that something else is hidden inside? Someone other than Grandpa?"