
My Mate Defended Her After She Killed Our Pup
Chapter 1
The paper in Healer Estella Green's hand shook a little as she read the result, and for one long second I thought she was going to tell me no again.
Then she smiled. That soft, careful healer's smile she had been giving me for three years.
"Congratulations, Luna. You're pregnant."
I didn't move. I had been pregnant in my dreams so many times that my body refused to believe it on command. My hand drifted to my stomach on its own. Flat. Warm. Mine.
"Strong hormone levels," Estella went on, sliding the bloodwork across her immaculate desk. "Everything looks healthy."
My wolf, Sable — quiet for so long I sometimes forgot the shape of her — stirred under my ribs like a creature lifting its head out of deep water.
*A pup.*
Her voice was rough from disuse. I pressed my thumb hard against the inside of my opposite wrist before the tears could come.
---
Jaden was in the training yard when I told him. He had grass on his knees and sweat at his temple, and the cedar-and-rain scent of him hit me harder than usual — the mate bond reaching for what we'd made.
"Pregnant," I said. Just the one word. I'd practiced longer speeches and forgotten all of them.
He stared. Then something in his face softened in a way I hadn't seen since our first months as mates — before the whispers, before *barren*, before three years of failure stacked between us like a wall.
"Maeve." He cupped the back of my neck. "Are you sure?"
"Estella confirmed it."
He pulled me in, and for the length of one breath I let myself believe the Moon Goddess hadn't made a mistake when She tied me to him.
Vivienne, his mother, gave me a thin smile at dinner. Conditional. The kind of smile that said *don't disappoint us again*. I took it anyway. I would have taken less.
That night, in the dark of our quarters, I lay with my hand spread flat over my stomach and whispered to the small spark inside me. *Hold on. Just hold on. I will protect you.*
I meant it the way only a mother can mean a thing.
---
Estella was attentive. She always was.
She came to the pack house herself with neat paper packets of herbs, tied in twine, smelling of raspberry leaf and something bitter underneath I couldn't name. She brewed the first cup with her own hands and watched me drink it.
"For the pup," she said gently, her fingertips resting on the back of my wrist. "We've all waited so long for this, Luna."
*We.* As though she had waited beside me. As though her hand at Jaden's elbow at every pack function had been sisterly concern and nothing else.
I drank the tea.
I drank it every morning, and every evening, and at the small extra dose she added when I mentioned I felt tired. I drank it the day she filed her first "concern note" about fetal viability — a note I would only see weeks later, timestamped in her clean, careful handwriting. Laying groundwork. Building a paper trail for a loss she was already cooking in my cup.
---
The cramping started in the fifth week.
It woke me before dawn — a low, wrong pull deep in my belly. Sable was up instantly, hackles raised inside me, and her growl rattled the inside of my skull. *Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.*
There was blood on the sheets. Not much. Enough.
Estella came within the hour, hair smooth, voice soothing.
"Spotting is normal in early pregnancy, Luna." She pressed cool fingers to my pulse. "Your body is adjusting. Some she-wolves bleed lightly through the whole first trimester." She wrote a new prescription on her pad without lifting her eyes. "I'll increase your dosage. It will steady things."
Sable snarled. I pressed my thumb into my wrist until it ached and ignored her.
Because Estella was the pack's healer. Because Jaden trusted her. Because if I made a fuss and was wrong, the whispers would harden into something I couldn't survive.
I took the higher dose.
Riley came that evening with takeout and her usual irreverent grin, but the grin faltered the moment she stepped into my sitting room. Her nostrils flared — that quick tracker's flare she didn't even know she did.
She looked at the teapot on my side table for a long moment.
"You okay, M?" she asked finally.
"Tired."
She nodded slowly. She didn't ask about the tea. She didn't say anything about the smell. But when she hugged me goodbye, she held on a beat longer than usual, and her eyes flicked back to the cup on her way out.
I wouldn't understand that look until much later.
---
The night it happened, I knew before I was fully awake.
The pain was a hand inside me, closing.
I remember Jaden shouting for the healer. I remember the copper smell flooding the sheets. I remember Sable howling and howling and howling inside my skull, a sound no one in the room could hear, and I remember thinking *please, please, not this, not again, not this one* —
And then nothing.
I woke in the medical wing under fluorescent light. The clock said 4:17. The sheets were clean. My stomach was empty in a way I felt all the way down to the bone.
Estella was at the foot of my bed, tablet in hand, writing.
*No fetal heartbeat detected. Nonviable pregnancy. Natural termination.*
She said the words gently. She even reached out and touched my hand.
"I'm so sorry, Luna. Sometimes the body simply isn't ready."
Jaden sat beside me for one hour. I counted. He held my fingers and stared at the wall, and when his phone buzzed about training rotations he kissed my forehead and stood up.
"I have to go. The pack needs to see I'm steady."
Vivienne sent no flowers.
In the corridor outside my door, two voices I didn't bother to identify murmured the word I had been trying to outrun for three years.
*Barren.*
I pressed my thumb into the inside of my wrist until I felt the pulse beat back against me, and I did not cry, because Sable, deep inside me, had stopped howling and gone very, very still.
---
Two weeks later I went in for a follow-up.
Estella was out on a call. The junior healer, nervous in my presence, didn't think to question when I asked, in my softest Luna voice, to review my own archived file.
"Of course, Luna."
I sat in the small records room with the door shut and the file open on the desk, and I made myself breathe.
The original bloodwork was the third document in the folder. Timestamped. Pre-revision. Run by an outside lab the week after Estella's first concern note.
Strong hormone levels. Healthy fetal development. *Fetal heartbeat: 168 BPM. Normal range. Robust.*
I laid it beside Estella's final filed report.
*No fetal heartbeat detected.*
The dates didn't match. The data didn't match. One of these papers was a lie.
My baby had been alive.
My baby had had a heartbeat.
My hands began to shake — not the small tremor of grief, but something deeper, something Sable was pushing up through me from a place I had buried so long ago I'd stopped believing it existed.
I took out my phone. I photographed every page. Front. Back. Timestamp. Signature. Estella's neat, careful handwriting on the forgery.
I slid the copies into the cover of the journal I had carried since before I came to Silvercrest.
Then I sat very still in that little room, and inside my skull, for the first time in three years, my wolf opened her eyes all the way.
*Someone killed our pup,* Sable said.
"Yes," I whispered.
*Then we are going to be very, very careful, and then we are going to burn it all down.*
I closed the file. I straightened my hair in the dark window. I walked out of the medical wing smiling at the junior healer like a grieving Luna who had simply needed a moment with her records.
No one stopped me.
No one yet knew they should.
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