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My Husband Ignored My Miscarriage to Hold Her Infant Novel Cover

My Husband Ignored My Miscarriage to Hold Her Infant

The fluorescent lights in Dr. David Chen's office hummed with a frequency that made my teeth ache. Or maybe that was just the nausea—the constant, gnawing companion I'd been dismissing as stress for weeks. I sat across from David, a colleague I'd consulted with dozens of times about other people's tragedies, and watched his mouth form words that didn't seem real. "Stage IV stomach cancer, Isla." The rain drummed against the window behind him, each drop a tiny fist pounding against glass. Seattle's perpetual gray had seeped into this room, into my bones, into the space between David's careful, clinical tone and the roaring silence in my head. "And you're pregnant. Approximately six weeks along." My hand moved to my stomach before I could stop it. The gesture felt foreign, like watching someone else's body betray them. Six weeks.
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Chapter 5

The door slammed against the wall, the impact echoing like a gunshot through the quiet oncology ward.

Callahan stumbled into the room. His designer tie was gone, his collar violently unbuttoned, his hair a disheveled mess of frantic hands. He looked like a man who had just survived a car crash, eyes bloodshot and wild as they locked onto my frail form in the hospital bed.

He didn't walk; he collapsed. His knees hit the linoleum with a heavy, sickening thud beside my bed. Before I could flinch away, he grabbed my hand, his grip so desperate it pulled the IV line tight beneath my bruised skin. He pressed my fingers to his wet, trembling mouth, his tears hot and slick against my knuckles.

"Isla," he choked out, the sound tearing from his throat like a dying animal's gasp. "Oh God, Isla. I didn't know. I swear to God, I didn't know."

My pulse didn't quicken. The heart monitor beside my bed maintained its slow, indifferent rhythm. I looked down at his shaking shoulders, at the snot and tears mingling on his usually immaculate face, and felt only the heavy, cotton-wool numbness of the morphine. The deep, yawning void in my chest where my love for him had once lived was utterly silent.

I slowly, deliberately, slid my hand out of his frantic grip.

"Isla, please," he sobbed, his empty hands grasping at the air above my blanket. "We'll go to MD Anderson. We'll fly to Switzerland. I'll sell the house, I'll drain the accounts, I'll spend every dime I have. I can fix this. Please, God, forgive me. Let me fix this."

"You can't buy back what you bled out of me," I whispered. My voice was a dry, papery rasp, devoid of the anger he was so desperately seeking. Anger meant I still cared. "The husband I needed died on those marble stairs, Callahan. You're just a stranger crying in my room."

He recoiled as if I had struck him, a fresh sob tearing through his chest. But the denial in him was a stubborn, malignant thing. It metastasized faster than my cancer.

Over the next forty-eight hours, Callahan transformed his guilt into a manic, suffocating crusade. Refusing to accept the terminal reality of my chart, he turned my sterile room into a grotesque shrine of performative grief. He hauled in imported cashmere throws I was too feverish to use and massive floral arrangements of heavy-scented lilies that made my ruined stomach violently heave. He paced the foot of my bed at all hours, barking into his phone, demanding impossible consultations with top-tier oncologists who all said the same thing: *It's too late.*

Whenever his frantic, chaotic energy threatened to spike my heart monitor, Magnus stepped in.

Magnus was a silent, immovable wall of muscle and calm. When Callahan tried to force a cup of expensive, nausea-inducing bone broth into my shaking hands, Magnus’s scarred fingers clamped around Callahan’s wrist like a steel vice.

"She said no," Magnus murmured, his voice low, vibrating with a dark, protective warning.

Callahan’s jaw worked, his eyes flashing with territorial rage, but beneath Magnus's dead-eyed stare, my husband's bravado crumbled. Callahan backed away, his hands shaking. Magnus never left. He slept in the stiff vinyl chair by the window, a dark sentinel guarding the ruins of my life, physically shifting his broad shoulders to block Callahan's line of sight whenever I needed to close my eyes.

But Callahan's absolute abandonment of the outside world eventually triggered a new crisis.

It was raining again on the fourth afternoon. I was drifting in a narcotic haze, lulled by the rhythmic turning of pages from Magnus's book, when the sharp, cloying scent of vanilla and baby powder sliced through the clinical smell of bleach.

"Callahan?" a sweet, breathless voice called out.

My eyes snapped open. The heart monitor hitched.

Eloise stood in the doorway. She held a pristine canvas tote bag in one hand, and strapped to her chest in a designer carrier was the infant. *Her* infant. The living, breathing child my husband had chosen to comfort while mine bled out on the floor.

Callahan, who had been aggressively highlighting a medical journal near the window, dropped his pen. It clattered loudly against the floorboards. "Eloise? What the hell are you doing here?"

She stepped fully into the room, her gaze sweeping over my sunken cheeks, the IV pole, and the bruised, yellowing skin around my collarbones. A micro-fraction of a smile—a fleeting, triumphant twitch—pulled at the corner of her glossed lips before she smoothed her features into a mask of innocent concern.

"You haven't been home in days, Cal," she said softly, shifting her shoulders so the baby let out a soft, sleepy coo. The sound was a serrated knife dragging across my empty womb. "I brought you some clean shirts. And... well, I thought Isla might want to see the baby. To cheer her up."

The heart monitor beside me began to shriek—a rapid, frantic tempo that mirrored the sudden, suffocating panic rising in my throat. Magnus was on his feet in a fraction of a second, his body instantly shielding me from her view, but the damage was already done.

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