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My deep affection binds me like a long night Novel Cover

My deep affection binds me like a long night

Chapter 1 Three years after Jerry lost his memory, Emily decided to die. She had cancer. After swallowing 520 sleeping pills, she quietly turned on the gas in her apartment. When she woke again, Jerry’s father and mother stood by her ICU bed, their expressions icy. “Put it out of your mind,” his mother said. “Even if you kill yourself ten thousand times, my son won’t spare you a second glance.” His father added, “I advise you to sign the divorce papers sooner rather than later. Miss Judith is a Capital City socialite, a perfect match for our family. She’s carrying the heir to the Huo legacy—something a woman of your status could never compare to.” The words pierced her heart like a needle. Three years ago, Jerry had loved her to the bone. He once drove nine hundred kilometers to the peak of a mountain just to pick her a rare alpine rose, all because she’d lingered on a photo of one for three seconds at an exhibition. When her menstrual cramps were unbearable, he’d abandon multi-billion-dollar deals, rush out into a downpour to scour every pharmacy in the capital for pain relievers, then stay up all night brewing her a soothing tea—only to catch pneumonia himself from the fever it induced. Later, when she wanted to go abroad as a doctor in a warzone, Jerry defied his family’s fierce opposition. For three days and nights, he faced the family council, willing to be disowned, just so he could join the special forces and follow her. When he appeared before her in that crisp, tailored uniform, she cried. He’d just kissed her forehead gently, holding her close, and whispered, “Don’t cry. It hurts me to see you like this.” They married, got their license, and became the couple everyone in the special forces envied. She thought their happiness would last forever. But during their final rescue mission, she was taken hostage by rioters, her body strapped with explosives. With fifty-two seconds left on the timer, Jerry shot himself without hesitation. Covered in blood, he offered to exchange himself for her, mouthing the words “I love you” soundlessly across the chaos. An explosion. Life and death separated. Every time she remembered that scene, even breathing was agony. She guarded his empty grave, only to learn he wasn’t dead. The news that followed was worse: he’d lost his memory and fallen in love with Miss Judith. For three years, he watched her heartbreak with cold indifference, pouring all his former tenderness into Judith. He loved Judith the way he once loved her. She didn’t know if this was heaven’s mercy or its cruelty. She had begged. She had suffered. She had tried to end it all. Over one thousand and ninety-five days and nights, she’d shed countless tears. But Jerry never even looked up. At first, he was cold as a stranger. Later, his disgust for her grew, culminating in getting Judith pregnant. Hurried footsteps sounded at the door. Emily looked up to see a cold, aloof man walk in. He wore a black suit, the top button of his shirt undone to reveal a glimpse of his elegant collarbone. Jerry gripped her chin, the force so great it brought tears to her eyes. His gaze was ice. “Was it you who turned on the gas? Do you have any idea Judith is pregnant?” Her voice was hoarse. “I didn’t know Miss Judith would be at the villa.” “Don’t play the victim with me,” he said coldly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Judith is the love of my life, my fiancée. I’m warning you—don’t get any ideas.” The man who once loved her deeply now looked at her with nothing but distance and disdain. Just three years ago, a single glance from her would make his ears turn red with shyness. Holding her hand made him sweat with nerves. Kissing her made his whole body tremble. He had willingly walked to his death to save her. She had held onto the love in his eyes for three long years. But now… those same eyes held only revulsion. A cold numbness spread through Emily’s body. Her eyes felt dry and scratchy, but not a single tear would fall. She opened her mouth, her throat tight. “Jerry, let’s get a divorce.” The air hung silent for a few seconds. Jerry suddenly let out a cold laugh, a mocking curve lifting the corner of his mouth. “Trying to trick me into a divorce again, so you can drug my coffee? Emily, using the same trick twice? Aren’t you tired?” “No, this time it’s real—” “Enough,” Jerry cut her off impatiently. “Judith had a scare. I need to take care of her. I don’t have time for your nonsense.” Watching his retreating back, Emily’s eyes stung. The man who once loved her to the bone wouldn’t even spare her a moment of his time now. Not long after they left, the duty nurse came to collect payment. “Miss Emily, here is your medical bill. The total is ten thousand.” Emily glanced at her bank balance and felt a pang of bitter sorrow. “I can’t pay that all at once. Could I owe it? I’ll transfer the money tomorrow.” The nurse hesitated but went to start the approval process.
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Chapter 2

Emily returned to the apartment they had once shared.

The landlord still recognized her, greeting her warmly. "Emily! No boyfriend with you this time?"

Her mind was a jumble. "He's planning a wedding," she murmured. "Getting married soon."

"I knew you two would make it down the aisle! The whole building's been waiting to celebrate," the landlord said, her face lighting up with a mix of envy and genuine delight. "I've kept the place for you. That cherry tree he planted has been bearing fruit for years now. The blossoms every spring—just beautiful."

The words settled like shards of glass in Emily's chest, a sharp, diffuse ache. She offered a vague reply and fumbled with the key.

Inside, everything remained exactly as they'd left it. On the shelf, a framed photo caught the light: she was beaming at the camera, while Jerry, in his military uniform, held her close, his chin resting on her shoulder as he gazed at her with utter devotion.

Memories flooded in, unstoppable.

The rose-patterned blanket he’d painstakingly crocheted for her—a burst of color that felt like holding a whole bouquet.

Her birthday at the pottery studio. He’d made an adorably lopsided rabbit mug, grinning as he said, "Now you’ll think of me every time you take a sip."

New Year’s Eve, the city sky alive with fireworks while they curled on the couch, playing Tower Defense games until dawn.

Their wedding day. He’d solemnly placed his epaulettes and service medals in her hands, then clasped her fingers as he vowed before the officiant, "Ten years, twenty years… when your hair is silver, I’ll still be right here beside you. I will love you forever."

She just hadn’t realized his "forever" would expire so soon.

Hadn’t realized these memories would end up trapping only her.

Her hands trembled slightly as she began clearing the space. Sentimental items went into the trash. Anything of value was listed for sale online.

She looked at the pale indentation on her ring finger. The Oppenheimer Blue Star Diamond. A one-of-a-kind piece, commissioned for ten billion from the world’s top designer—the ring he’d proposed with. She’d never taken it off, not even in the warzone, when death felt inches away.

The blue stone still glittered, cold and perfect. Everything else had changed.

A bitter smile touched her lips as she finally slid the ring off and placed it in its velvet box.

Staring at the half-empty suitcase, it hit her: apart from some clothes and daily necessities, she had nothing left.

*Ding.*

A notification chimed from her phone. A new post from Judith on her social feed.

**[So happy~ Picking out wedding dresses with my hubby!]**

The man in the photo had a cool, detached elegance. The pure black suit accentuated his tall, straight frame, and his deep-set eyes were captivating. Under the soft glow of crystal chandeliers, he was focused on fastening the intricate back of Judith’s gown, his long fingers resting at her waist. His usually stern expression was softened, almost tender.

Emily found Jerry’s chat, still pinned to the top of her list. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. *You look good in a suit…* she typed, then deleted it. Finally, she settled on: **I’m leaving. I wish you both happiness.**

She hit send. The message immediately turned red, marked with an exclamation point. *Message delivered but blocked by recipient.*

She stared blankly for a moment, then turned off the screen.

As she approached the villa, Judith’s cheerful laughter carried from far away.

There she was, nestled against Jerry on the couch, a tablet in hand as they played some co-op game. Jerry was peeling grapes, feeding them to her with a natural ease.

Emily averted her eyes. "I’m back."

Jerry’s gaze flicked to the bare indentation on her ring finger. A slight frown creased his brow, but before he could speak, Judith wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him sweetly.

"Jerry, I haven’t had much appetite lately," she said, her voice a soft plea. "I heard Emily makes an amazing angelica and red date soup. Could she make some for me?"

Jerry’s eyes shifted coolly to Emily. "Making some tonic soup for Judith isn’t too much to ask, is it?"

An invisible fist closed around Emily’s heart, squeezing the air from her lungs.

The angelica and red date soup. Back when Jerry had lost his memory, she had consulted with a master herbalist, practicing for three grueling months just to perfect it. *Angelica*—the name itself meant "should return." It was her silent, desperate hope that he would return to her, that his memories would.

He had never taken a single sip. Every time, he’d poured it down the drain right in front of her, calling it disgusting.

And now he wanted her to make it for another woman.

No words came. She walked into the kitchen without responding, washed the angelica root and dates, added water and the other ingredients, and set it to simmer over a low flame.

An hour later, she carried the steaming pot into the living room, only to find Jerry’s parents had arrived.

His mother was holding Judith’s hand, her voice full of gentle concern. "If you feel any discomfort during the pregnancy, you must tell us. You’re the first daughter-in-law of the family now. We’ll make sure you want for nothing."

She was busily arranging an array of prenatal supplements she’d brought, along with piles of baby items—a crib, a high chair, bottles, tiny clothes…

"And this," she said, placing documents and a jade pendant in Judith’s hands, "is 30% of the family’s corporate shares, and our ancestral jade heirloom. It has been passed down from the first lady of the family for generations. It belongs to you now."

Power. Wealth. Love and blessing.

None of which Emily had ever received when she married Jerry.

She withdrew her gaze, her expression flat. It didn’t matter anymore. None of it did.

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