Make Me Whole

BANG!!

Raymond sprang up from his sleep. There was sweat all over his body, and he was breathing so hard.

The incident of him killng a group of gang happened a year ago, and he kept on dreaming about it. He pulled his hair and groaned, trying hard to calm himself.

...

"Do you still have nightmares?" A middle-aged woman asked. Her calm gaze was on the guy tapping his finger restlessly on his chair.

With just one look, one would know that he wasn't interested in this discussion he was having.

"I asked you a question, young man. Do you still have nightmares?" she asked again, stretching her words this time.

"No," he replied in a hoarse voice, darting his emerald eyes around the room. He was obviously trying to avoid her gaze.

"You know we've been doing this long enough for me to know that you're lying... Raymond," she said.

"I don't have nightmares," he repeated, playing with the ring on his lip by digging it between his upper teeth.

"Are we seriously going to do this today?" she asked, and he kept quiet.

"Fine," she said, grabbing her cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Raymond asked, raising his brow. She didn't reply as she began to dial a number.

"You're not calling that old man... are you?" he asked, but she didn't stop. "Fine, stop! I'll cooperate, don't just call the old man, alright," he said in a British accent.

Mrs. Brown looked up at him and dropped her phone. A soft sigh escaped his pink lips as he sank back into his chair.

"You look a little off, Raymond. Did something happen lately?" she asked.

Raymond looked to the other side; part of his tattoo was visible.

"I just had to deal with something last night," he replied.

"At the club... I heard you broke the three rules I gave you." Mrs. Brown's face showed she wasn't impressed.

"I didn't break any of those boring rules of yours, Mrs. Brown," he said, rolling his tongue in his mouth-something he always did whenever he was lying.

"Rule number one: never do something illegal. Did you stick to that rule last night?"

"I did."

"Okay, tell me what happened last night," she said.

"I was chilling as usual at the club when I spotted an ass calling for my attention, and then I spanked it," he shrugged.

...

"Hey sexy," Raymond said, caressing a girl's ass all of a sudden. The girl quickly jerked herself away from him.

"Fuck off," she snapped.

"C'mon girl, I kinda like you. Wanna be mine tonight?" he asked, licking his lips as his eyes scanned her body.

Someone suddenly grabbed him from behind and punched him hard in the face. Raymond touched his bleeding lip and looked up at him.

"You..."

"Stay the fuck away from my girl, dickface!" he spat, grabbing the girl out of the club.

"Whoa! The mighty Raymond Adams just got punched in the face," his close friend Leonard laughed. His body was also covered in tattoos.

"I kinda like that, buster," his other close friend Jake said, drinking from his bottle.

Raymond licked the blood off his lips and grabbed his jacket.

"Bro! Where are you off to!" Both of his friends yelled, then laughed afterward.

...

Mrs. Brown only kept silent, listening to his words.

"You deserved that, Ray... so what did you do after that?" she asked.

"What do you expect me to do, huh?" he asked, his eyes turning cold just at the thought of it.

"Did you follow rule number two?" she asked.

"What's rule number two again?" he asked, frowning.

"Seriously, Ray! That's the whole point of these. Rule number two says you can't hurt anyone, remember?" she said loudly, shaking her head.

"Oh... I actually didn't hurt him," he said, biting his lip.

...

The guy who hit Raymond got out of his car and moved to open the door for his so-called girlfriend. Just as she got out, he pinned her harshly.

"You enjoyed that motherfucker's hand on your ass, didn't you? I'm sure if I wasn't there, you'd probably let him fuck you for the night," he said, almost hurting her with the way he pinned her against the car.

"He came all of a sudden, I was caught off guard... I'm so sorry, babe," the girl sobbed.

The next thing the guy felt was someone grabbing him from behind. His head collided with the car window hard, and the glass shattered, his head bursting into the car.

"Fuck!" the guy cursed under his breath, but he was dragged outside and then had his head pinned against the car.

"Stop!" the lady with him yelled.

Raymond opened his palm, brought out a knife, then stabbed the guy's hand into the car, earning a loud scream from him.

...

"You didn't?... then explain this." Mrs. Brown brought out the bloody knife and placed it on the table.

He cursed under his breath-how could he have forgotten to take that with him?

"The guy is currently in the hospital with his hand brutally injured," she said, shaking her head.

"I didn't hurt him that bad, at least he can walk," Raymond said, sighing. "What about rule number three: don't kill anyone. I didn't break that," he shrugged.

"No, you didn't, but... you know you can kill someone without hurting them physically, right?" she asked.

"That's bullshit," Raymond chuckled.

"I told you not to use those words here," Mrs. Brown scolded, and he kept quiet. "I hope you know I'm trying to help you get over your past. Letting it control you won't help. You've killed a lot of people, and you're trying to justify it..."

"I'm trying my best, doctor. You don't have to keep reminding me how fucked up I am."

"Do you have something or someone that makes you feel alive?" she asked.

"Yeah, I do... I-"

"Please don't say pussy or alcohol... that's not what I meant," she cut in, and Raymond cleared his throat.

"That was exactly what I was about to say. You're such a cynic, doc," he muttered.

"Nothing else?" she asked.

"Nothing apart from those two," he said.

"Then that would be your personal assignment."

"I'm not a darn kid."

"Do you want to be free, Ray... then find something that wakes the light in you. I'll give you a month," she said and closed her book. "And... this session is over," she added and stood to leave Raymond with his mouth open.

"Fuck the darn light," he muttered.