Lost Mates Books 1-3

You look tired."

Rory glanced over the coffee table at her two best friends, stifling a yawn. Tired? That's because she was. But it wouldn't do anyone any good to worry them more than they were already. What could she say? That the three in the morning phone calls had been going on for weeks now. Three am every single night without fail. Her phone would just ring and ring. 

She had tried turning it off, and the pounding at the door had started. That was worse, knowing someone was outside her home,with only a shoddy wooden door between them.

"Have you heard from Roman?" Andre leaned back; his long legs crossed at the ankle as he perused her face. Rory shook her head. No, she hadn't. Not since the frantic voicemail he had left her begging her to ring him back that first day. She had it saved to her phone. It had crossed her mind, when the night calls had first started that it might be him, but she knew it wasn't. That wasn't Roman's style; it was, however, her ex-husband's. The thought made her sick.

"He sent flowers last week." She motioned to a huge bouquet of yellow roses on the sideboard. Yellow roses her favourite flower; the realization that he had remembered that after all these years made her heart hurt. The card read simply "YOURS," in a beautiful bold cursive script that just screamed Roman. "But I haven't spoken to him." She gathered her hair into a high ponytail, a nervous habit, it just accentuated how drawn she was. There were dark circles under her eyes. "Have you?"

He shrugged. "I spoke to him this morning."

Rory let out a puff of air. "Andre, how am I meant to get on with my life if my best friend is still taking his calls? "

"That's easy- you don't, you give the guy a chance to explain."

She opened her mouth, but Andre stopped her with his hand outstretched. "Listen to me Rory, the guy is crazy over you, not stalker Dale crazy" He added with a dark look. "Shifters are different, they know when they have found their Mate, and Roman found his when he walked into your life all those years ago. He's waited for you forever, can't you even give him the chance to talk to you?"

Rory blinked back tears. Roman had said as much that day when she had left him. The sight of his wolf crying for her still haunted her dreams. It hurt more than she was willing to admit that she had left it like that, but she couldn't bring herself to pick up her phone and call him back. As if reading her mind Jo was there, her tan arm bringing her in close. "You could phone him, Rory, it isn't too late to do that."

"How can I phone him with all this craziness going on, and even if I could, what could I say when I'm not sure I can forgive him. It's just better for both of us this way."

Andre groaned. "You don't get it, Rory, he will never want anyone but you, not really." His words were hard, he was angry with her. "And he would want to know what's going on with these calls."

Rory shook her head hard. No, that could never happen.

"His official mate or not, he would protect you, Rory."

"No Andre, that's the end of that. I can't expect him to protect me from life, when I don't want him in mine. Change the subject."  There was no need, the atmosphere in the flat turned icy as Rory's phone began to vibrate. She glanced at her friends and then at the clock. It wasn't even midnight. She fumbled with trembling fingers to bring the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Slut!" The voice on the other end of the line was her husband. It was the first time she had heard her night time caller's voice, but she had always known it was him. Deep down. The phone had already clicked off as Andre grabbed the phone from her shaking hand. "Son of a bitch!" He tossed her phone onto the couch cushions, and Jo brought her in for a hug. Rory collapsed against her friend's shoulder as the sobbing overtook her.

She didn't notice that Andre had reached for his own phone until she heard him speak. "Roman." She threw herself at him. He couldn't do this to her, humiliate her further. "Andre, please!"

He turned to her, she had expected anger, but he had tears in his eyes as he held the phone out of her reach. "No Rory, I love you, but no. Let the people who love you help you." He turned his back on her and lowered his voice. She couldn't keep track of their conversation, as Andre paced between the tiny living room and the even smaller kitchen. When he turned back to her his voice was softer. "He wants to talk to you Rory."

"I don't want to speak to him, Andre. I can't." She stared at the outstretched phone as it would bite her.

"Take the goddamn phone, Rory!" Jo bit out.

"She won't speak to you, Roman." Andre cocked his head thoughtfully as he listened. "Do what you have to do." He clicked the phone off, setting it down on the table carefully. "He's on his way over."

The floor fell from beneath Rory's feet. How could he be on his way over? How could she face him in person, if she couldn't even bear to hear his voice over the telephone without her heart breaking?

"Why Andre, and how? How can he be coming here NOW?"

"He's in town, he has been since yesterday"

He had been in town and he hadn't tried to contact her. Rory wasn't sure how she felt about that at all.

Why hadn't he even tried? But she knew the answer, he hadn't tried because she had told him not to. Roman wasn't Dale.

The door knocked sooner than she had anticipated, and she panicked, locking herself behind the closed door of her bedroom as Andre went down to let him in. She could hear their hushed voices even through the door.

"Rory?" Romans voice was soft as he opened the door, fumbling for the light switch. The look on his face as he took her in, sat with her arms wrapped around her legs made her hide her tear-stained face. He looked disgusted. She hiccupped into her drawn-up knees, turning her face away from him.

"What's going on Rory?"

He was too close, even standing as far away as the room allowed. She could feel him in every pore of her skin. "Nothing."

He gave her a look before closing the door behind him. Then he was there, on his knees in front of her, reaching for her arms. "No lies remember Rory, isn't that your rule?"

"I don't want you here Roman." She lied, her chin lifting defiantly even as her face was soaked with tears that wouldn't stop. And what was worse, she wasn't even sure what she was crying over now.

That she had a stalker, who had once been her husband? The lack of sleep, or the fact that Roman was here? His fresh masculine scent filled her nostrils. That he was so close he could reach out and touch her, yet remained sat back on his knees, looking at her like she was some overreacting child. Or the fact that she wanted to throw herself into his arms and let him break her heart over and over again?

"Are these tears because you can't stand the sight of me, or are you lying to me again?" He wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She lent into his hand with her eyes clenched closed. He was too close. "I didn't think so" His voice was husky. "I've missed you."

She scooted away from him at that. "I've missed you as well, but it doesn't change anything."

He nodded, releasing her face and sitting back on her threadbare carpet. "You are right, this isn't the time, now tell me what's been going on."

And she told him. Told him everything. He didn't say anything, barely made a sound though she became aware of a low rumbling noise as she spoke. He was growling low and long as he listened. "And I don't know what to do anymore, and Andre shouldn't have told you, this isn't your problem." She finished with a hiccupping sob.

"It is my problem Rory." He gathered her into his arms then, piling her into his lap as he sat on the floor. He whispered into her dishevelled hair as he rocked her. "Anything that hurts you will always be my problem."

"But... "

"But nothing, maybe you still don't understand. Even if you reject me forever, I will always protect you. I will always strive to make sure you are happy." Was it her imagination or was his voice catching in his throat. "Even if it kills me."

"Roman..." She scooted back, just enough so she could see his face. "I don't want you to put your life on hold waiting for me, I can't ask you to do that."

"Too late." His voice was sad. "I don't get a choice; I never really did, but if you don't think I can make you happy then you won't ..."

She kissed him then. She hadn't planned on it. In fact, she had told herself that she wouldn't. "Aurora." He pulled away first, capturing her face between his hands as she fought to bring her lips back to him.  She needed his closeness if she was to forget even for a little while the total shit storm her life had become. "Aurora, no."

"You don't want me?"

He held her head against his chest then, so she could feel the pounding of his heart. "I will never stop wanting you, but this isn't right. You don't want me."

"I want you."

"No, you don't. Not like this, this will just be something else you hate me for. I won't take advantage of you."

"I want... hell Roman I need..." He silenced her with his lips.

"You need me to be a gentleman and be here for you, to not push my agenda on you right now. Don't think I don't want to,Rory" He groaned as her lips made a trail of kisses just below his left ear. "Rory stop, if you carry on, I won't be able to stop myself" He captured both her hands in one of his.

Rory made a sound very similar to a growl of her own. What the hell was his problem? Why couldn't he just take what she was offering? Take her and for a few moments make her forget everything but the feel of his body on hers. Why wouldn't he give her that?

"Sleep Rory, just sleep. Tomorrow I will make this problem go away for you. Once it has, if you want me in your life," he settled her next to him on the bed. His arms slung over her waist as he drew her close against his front. "Then I will be here, but right now just sleep."

"I don't sleep anymore Roman" but she was already drifting off.

"I'm right here Rory, you can sleep."