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Longing Beneath the Ashes Novel Cover

Longing Beneath the Ashes

The day she learned Benjamin had been in a car accident, Laura rushed to the hospital to donate blood for him. When she reached his room, she found Benjamin—who was supposed to be unconscious—locked in a passionate kiss with his widowed sister-in-law. "Jessica," he murmured against her lips, his voice thick. "I've waited ten years. I *will* make you mine, openly and without shame." Laura stood frozen in the doorway, staring in disbelief. The man in the hospital bed showed no sign of injury. A string of prayer beads slid through his fingers, a stark contrast to the scene before her. Beside the bed, Jessica stood with flushed cheeks, her lips swollen and glistening. "Let her come in," Benjamin said, his voice low. "I'll tell her I've lost my memory. That you were the one who cared for me, that I owe you. I'll take care of you both. I'll make sure you're both provided for." Jessica nodded, her blush deepening. From the hallway, Laura felt as if she'd been plunged into an icy lake. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Benjamin—the man everyone saw as an ascetic, serene, with brows like ink strokes and eyes like deep pools, seemingly untouched by worldly desire. This man had been harboring such a filthy secret for his own brother's wife. All of it—his devotion to Buddhist practice, his renunciation, his strict discipline, even his marriage to *her*—had been nothing but a smokescreen to hide his forbidden longing. Inside the room, the two were leaning in for another kiss when the door swung open. Silence fell. Benjamin's face instantly smoothed into its usual detached mask. Jessica, however, still wore a telltale flush as she stood coyly by the bedside.
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Chapter 1

The day she learned Benjamin had been in a car accident, Laura rushed to the hospital to donate blood for him.

When she reached his room, she found Benjamin—who was supposed to be unconscious—locked in a passionate kiss with his widowed sister-in-law.

"Jessica," he murmured against her lips, his voice thick. "I've waited ten years. I *will* make you mine, openly and without shame."

Laura stood frozen in the doorway, staring in disbelief. The man in the hospital bed showed no sign of injury. A string of prayer beads slid through his fingers, a stark contrast to the scene before her.

Beside the bed, Jessica stood with flushed cheeks, her lips swollen and glistening.

"Let her come in," Benjamin said, his voice low. "I'll tell her I've lost my memory. That you were the one who cared for me, that I owe you. I'll take care of you both. I'll make sure you're both provided for."

Jessica nodded, her blush deepening.

From the hallway, Laura felt as if she'd been plunged into an icy lake. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Benjamin—the man everyone saw as an ascetic, serene, with brows like ink strokes and eyes like deep pools, seemingly untouched by worldly desire.

This man had been harboring such a filthy secret for his own brother's wife.

All of it—his devotion to Buddhist practice, his renunciation, his strict discipline, even his marriage to *her*—had been nothing but a smokescreen to hide his forbidden longing.

Inside the room, the two were leaning in for another kiss when the door swung open. Silence fell.

Benjamin's face instantly smoothed into its usual detached mask. Jessica, however, still wore a telltale flush as she stood coyly by the bedside.

"Oh, it's my sister-in-law," Jessica said sweetly. "Benjamin, this is your wife."

Hearing the word "wife," the man in the bed frowned deeply.

"My apologies," he said, his voice cold. "I was under the impression that Jessica was my wife."

Jessica chimed in with a practiced, gentle smile. "Laura, the doctor said the accident caused a head injury. Benjamin has temporary amnesia. He woke up and saw I was the one taking care of him, so he... misunderstood."

Laura listened, feeling as if something sharp had just pierced her chest, stealing her breath.

How very *thorough* of him. Arranging an "accident" and a convenient bout of amnesia, just to erase a decade of marriage and give the woman he'd truly loved all along a legitimate place by his side.

The man in the bed spoke again, his tone icy.

"Miss Laura. I'm told you've been my wife for many years. I understand I have a duty to you. But Jessica cared for me in my time of need. I owe her a debt."

Benjamin's eyes, usually devoid of feeling, were now fixed on Jessica with an unmistakable, melting tenderness.

"You may be my legal wife, but I must also honor my commitment to Jessica. After I'm discharged, she will live with us."

Of course. Jessica's sweet nothings were a "debt" to be honored.

Her own blood, drained to save his life while she remained in the dark, was not.

Hearing his words, Laura's eyes burned. Still, she smiled and gave a slow nod.

Benjamin had braced himself for refusal, for a scene, for hysterics. Instead, her voice came out quiet, almost serene. "As you wish."

She would clear the space for Jessica.

And she would never, ever see Benjamin again.

He looked taken aback, opening his mouth to say more, but Laura was already turning, fleeing the room. In the sterile hallway, she sank to her knees as a wave of agony crashed over her. Tears welled up, hot and unstoppable, spilling between her fingers.

She had loved Benjamin for fifteen years.

Since the first flutterings of her teenage heart, she had been captivated by his cool, restrained presence.

He had been the distant, perfect light of her youth—an untouchable deity enshrined in her heart.

She could still remember the dizzying joy of the day he'd proposed.

"Benjamin," she'd declared, beaming. "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world!"

For ten years of marriage, they had been respectful, cordial.

There was none of the passionate love she'd imagined, only the quiet routine of husband and wife.

Whenever disappointment crept in, she'd console herself: it was just his nature.

He wore simple robes, immersed in prayer and scripture. She never dared to drag him into the messy, emotional world for her sake.

Only now did she understand. Benjamin wasn't immune to love's turmoil. It was simply that the goddess in his heart had never been her.

Once the storm of tears had passed, Laura wiped her face, took a steadying breath, and dialed a number.

Her mother's gentle voice came through the line. "Laura, sweetheart, we heard about Benjamin's accident. Don't panic, okay? Whatever you need, just tell your father and me."

"No, Mom," Laura said, her voice tight but firm as she fought back another wave of emotion. "It's not that. Once I've taken care of some things here, I'm coming with you. Abroad."

Silence stretched on the other end for a moment. Then, her mother's voice, laced with worry. "Laura? What's happened?"

Laura let out a soft, strangely liberating laugh. "It's nothing, really. It's just... Benjamin wants to set up a separate household with another woman. And I don't agree."

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