I Was the Grass Beneath Your Feet

After just a moment of hesitation, Lance kissed Wendy amid the crowd's cheers.

I turned around and went back to my storage room.

…

The day was lively, but my memories stayed trapped in the past. I couldn't break free from it.

"Esme, I'll take you away one day."

"I'll protect you forever. Don't be scared, Esme."

"Esme, I love you."

The 18-year-old Lance, who once said he would protect me, had died in the past. I couldn't forgive him, just like I couldn't stop loving his younger self.

That night, fireworks lit up Whitville. The night sky looked almost as bright as day.

It was all Lance's doing for Wendy.

Then, I got a text from him.

"Esme, I don't blame you for lying to me. I know you did it because you love me. Wait for me, okay?"

No, Lance. Everything was already over.

…

In my room, I changed into the nicest clothes I had. Then, I sat at my desk and pulled out my diary.

I had written, "October 25th, 2008. Charles died saving me and Wendy. Beatrice passed too. Wendy had asked me to fetch her toy from the river, and Charles ended up saving her. But still, it was all my fault. I'll be good to her."

"December 13th, 2010. Wendy said she liked my room, and Mom told me to move into the storage room first. Mom said I could move again once the new space was ready. But how long will that take?"

"April 5th, 2011. Why did Wendy lie about me spending all her allowance? She was the one who took all of mine. Why won't Mom, Dad, and Brett believe me?""

The last entry was from November 2017, a month before I was sent to prison.

There was only one line.

"They never loved me!"

I sighed and picked up my pen, ready to write down the final entry in the diary.

I wrote, "January 1st, 2026. Mom, Dad, I'm gone. You can think of me as dead. Perhaps to you, I did a long time ago. But why must Charles' and Beatrice's deaths be my fault?

"What more do I have to do to 'atone?' In the past eight years, have you ever worried about me, even for a second? What were your feelings when you gave birth to me?"

I added, "To Brett, my brother. Perhaps you've forgotten, but I'm your sister too. But it's fine now, because none of it matters anymore.

"If there's a next life, I don't want you as my brother."

The last paragraph was for Lance. I wrote, "Lance, I won't wait for you this time. I can't forgive you, just like how you once told me to never forgive those who hurt me.

"I won't betray myself or the version of you who once loved me. Let's never meet again. I wish you and Wendy happiness."

At the end, I placed my prison medical report on the table. It clearly states I was missing a kidney.

Just as I was done, Iris called. I left Walker Residence with my luggage and stepped toward my new life.